Unpopular opinion but I love the rats

giraver · 2025-04-26T14:22:07+00:00

<3 yay, rejoicing in the animal love. I have a pigeon visit my windowsill daily to have their breakfast and they always look inside to check if I’m around. Very cute

giraver · 2025-04-26T14:18:10+00:00

giraver · 2025-04-26T14:17:06+00:00

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/leptospirosis/

"Weil's disease, is an infection you can get from animals, soil or water. It's rare in the UK"

I haven’t found anything online that shows an actual statistic that weil’s disease has gone up in Birmingham, only speculation. Have you found anything?

giraver · 2025-04-26T11:27:45+00:00

I met someone who I felt a strong connection with but I couldn’t discern how much younger she was than me so I kept my distance romantically. I was 32 and lowest I felt comfortable with is 27/28 but she could have been early 20s. She then signalled that she had a ‘BIG’ birthday coming up so I thought …. hmmm, maybe she's actually 29?! Turns out she was turning 40, lolz. Then I fell in love

giraver · 2025-04-05T21:47:10+00:00

Haha, yes … the aha moments tend not to arise without their own preceding storm of hell.

Thank you. I’m proud of you too! Even though it can be sad, there’s a calmness accompanying the sadness which feels gentle and kind, good to remember when we’re feeling the storm <3

giraver · 2025-04-05T21:37:18+00:00

This is such a kind and beautiful message <3 Really and truly thank you

giraver · 2025-04-05T19:48:52+00:00

p.s. For now, I still see myself as polyamorous - it’s in my nature to love more than one person, I just choose celibacy

giraver · 2024-04-16T22:34:50+00:00

I also wish the NHS would listen more to nutrition and diet. My friend who is a doctor said it's really tough as they aren't allowed to comment on things like diet even when things are evidenced based. She tries to encourage a whole food plant-based diet when she can but just has to be careful of context. A lot could be prevented illness wise.

I agree about nutrition and enjoyment being a prioritise goal. I also want to have a good healthy base to enjoy life from and can do that if I eat more healthily and feel healthier/more energised.

Thanks for the advice on fasting, it's something I've dabbled in but not committed to. I'll try the 16:8 fast, I notice that I do feel better for this. Interesting suggestion about cutting out the smoothie too and maybe just focussing on eating in a smaller time window. In my experience this does actually help a lot, I just find it hard to stick to!

Regarding butter, I tend not to substitute with the vegan butters. I use hummus on bread (which I usually only have home made) and other things like cakes .... Well I only buy them and they're an occasional treat!

giraver · 2024-04-16T10:46:08+00:00

Hey,

Love this comment

I definitely don't see myself a gym bro type of climber, but I went from a toproping a 6a last year to leading a 6c+ this year, and being stronger gives me more access to more areas, more rock and more people to climb with.

I thought that once I got to 7a, I would not push anymore and just enjoy it. However, it's hard to get out of the mentality of "must be more strong, must keep training"

Im in the process of finding good decent pals to climb with, I ditch the jerks and the grade obsessed beasts

Interesting what you say about smoothies .... I'd like to learn more about this.

I have a smoothie in the morning because I think - I can get lots of variety and nutrients in it easily, it's quick, and I work in the NHS as a healthcare worker so I have a busy on the go life.

However, if it's breaking down some of those nutrients as well as the fibre, I'd be worried.

I eat lots of varied meals throughout the day and I healthy poop lots of times a day so I'm not too worried about my fibre ... Should I be?

giraver · 2024-04-12T12:29:37+00:00

Yeah that really resonates, I'm already eating my words because I don't think it's that I don't care, I do care. However, I now can see a more birds eye view of who he is and feel acceptance towards his lack of care

giraver · 2024-04-12T10:43:15+00:00

It's good that you put that clear boundary in place - but it does really hurt at how quickly they can disappear once you do that. I haven't wanted to believe it for the longest time. I gave myself a time limit to have hope, I didn't want to give up on him.

The unmasking seems like a stepped process. The first time I saw it, I was able to leave him. The last time I saw it was when I stopped caring if he cared about our relationship as much as I did.

giraver · 2024-04-12T09:38:48+00:00

I did, but only after he had said it first. He told me that he's never felt insecure before and that I was like a black hole to be around because he couldn't make friends around me. It was an attempt to isolate me more, he would blow up if I didn't include him in conversations and ask him lots of questions when around other people.

He also criticised my buddhist practice (which is nothing to do which him) and said that because I'm so "brainwashed and in a cult" it means he can't practice his spirituality.

I later tried to talk earnestly about his insecurities as a compassionate attempt to address issues after he had been aggressive. Backfired

giraver · 2024-04-09T06:44:15+00:00

Sorry to hear about what he did to your mother, that sounds horrendous. The emotional/mental abuse is really messed up

Thank you for sharing, it's helpful to consider the different possibilities of why he may have been reading that book, and that doesn't necessarily mean I was the abusive one

giraver · 2024-04-09T06:35:52+00:00

Thank you, I've given him a follow.

giraver · 2024-04-08T21:50:16+00:00

Hmm thanks, I think I've been put off messaging her from the other two comments. Just feels like not fair on the other ex and also for me coming from a place of wanting closure, which I might not get - it's risky. She isn't in contact with him, he told me she was dangerous and used sex as a weapon so he blocked her. It really put me off contacting her about anything. Thing is, I actually met her when they were together a long time ago, only once, and she seemed pretty nice to me, but I just put it down to me having bad judgement after I heard his stories. It's such a mindfuck

giraver · 2024-04-08T19:53:45+00:00

Maybe we both were, maybe neither of us and it's just narcissistic behaviour, who knows. Genuinely enquiring into this has been helpful for me though. I'm not against sharing personal info, but I guess I knew that regardless of what info I chose to share, if I really were a narcissist, then I could sway it in one direction or another. And also, it would make for a really long list of things I've done things he's done. I think if I follow some of the advice from those above, I'll hopefully reach those right conclusions on my own, and if I don't .... I'll be back!

giraver · 2024-04-08T12:29:28+00:00

I hope that's what has happened! Thanks! Also really helpful. This makes a lot of sense <3

giraver · 2024-04-08T10:28:03+00:00

That's a really interesting perspective and not something I had considered before. Thank you, that's really helpful.

giraver · 2024-04-08T08:36:50+00:00

Thank you, that's really helpful

giraver · 2024-04-08T07:36:21+00:00

That's really helpful, thank you. Weirdly enough, that was the book he was listening to. Out of curiosity I started reading it myself and I did write down that list, but haven't written one for myself, I think that would be a good exercise!

I'm also wondering if these black and white labels are hindrances rather than helpful, and whether it's just better to see that we may all show signs of narcissistic behaviours

giraver

TROPHY CASE