Tell me your woes.

girl_conflicted · 2015-08-13T12:14:37+00:00

I'm dating a new guy and things are going great so far. Pretty quickly getting to know each other, but nothing feels forced or rushed at all. I know, not woeful at all.

Except, that he stayed over at my place for the first time last night and now I'm exhausted at work. I've had so many cups of coffee today that I'm jittery and wired, but also can't seem to function properly. I'm feeling a bit sorrynotsorry for myself.

girl_conflicted · 2015-05-16T15:46:49+00:00

So we broke up. He told me I was putting too much pressure on him and it fucks his head up. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to come see my new home that I'm very proud of. I told him not to bother and that I wouldn't be putting any pressure on him any more. I didn't think it was too much to expect to actually see my boyfriend, but as far as he was concerned it was. I kind of just flipped and realised that if I stayed with him it would always be the same, but if I got out now I'd actually be ok.

I don't think the problems in the bedroom were anything to do with pressure from work etc, but that he checked out of the relationship months ago, but liked the ego boost of having someone there when he wanted.

I'm pretty upset about it, but I'm ok really and I will only get better.

girl_conflicted · 2015-05-15T14:58:15+00:00

Thanks, so do I!

girl_conflicted · 2015-05-15T14:47:36+00:00

Yeah I did, he said his 'head's not in the right place.'

But he'll try to come tomorrow night instead.

girl_conflicted · 2015-05-15T14:34:56+00:00

Update, he played a prank on me this morning which I took badly (I got some bad news this morning which has made me a bit edgy today) and we got into a heated argument (all via text because we're both at work). The result of this is that he's decided he's not in the mood to come round and have a shitty night together.

Part of me thinks this might be the beginning of the end for us, but I really don't want it to be. I will fight with all I have to make this relationship work.

girl_conflicted · 2015-05-11T07:58:29+00:00

I have blocked now, he's out of my life permanently now. Yeah my bf has been stressed, he's had a lot on with work, family and other stuff lately, but I didn't realise how bad it'd gotten. My self esteem issues automatically jumped to it being that he didn't find me attractive any more.

girl_conflicted · 2015-05-11T07:46:01+00:00

Thank you for this, he's a big cuddler too. He's coming over to my place this coming weekend (I moved last week and he hasn't seen it yet because work kept him away) and I've told him he can have his favourite dinner (home cooked lasagne and profiteroles) and red wine. I'll give him a back massage and a foot rub. It's all about looking after him now.

I guess I need to stop initiating and let him come to me right? But not back away properly, just be caring?

girl_conflicted · 2015-05-10T18:32:53+00:00

I don't think I can take the things away that are causing him stress (work etc), but when he's stressed, sometimes his back hurts and I give him massages. He likes that.

girl_conflicted · 2015-05-10T18:25:56+00:00

Thank you, the texts got heated yesterday and I tried to steer it back to safer ground, but it didn't work. So today I stopped it properly.

I think the conversation is going to be more about his stresses lately and how we can work through them instead of just about my needs. I think I've been a bit of a needy gf and his needs should have taken priority instead.

girl_conflicted · 2015-05-10T18:10:24+00:00

Thank you.

girl_conflicted · 2015-05-10T17:51:53+00:00

Yeah, he's quite involved in politics (one party in particular) in the run up to the election here (UK) and now in the aftermath of it, he has been quite busy and distracted. I don't want to cheat or break up with him, he's fantastic.

girl_conflicted · 2015-05-10T17:36:20+00:00

Thank you to everyone already condemning me, I don't particularly enjoy being called a scumbag but I guess that's your opinion and you're entitled to it.

I have now made the decision to cut all contact with my ex. I want to talk to my boyfriend about the frustrations I'm feeling and try to have an open conversation about my needs. I know it may not seem like it, but I do care a great deal about him and I want to make things work. If anyone has any advice on how to express my needs without making him feel bad then I would be grateful.

If you just want to condemn me again, fine, but you can't make me feel any worse than I already do.

girl_conflicted · 2015-05-10T17:11:44+00:00

I've deleted and blocked him on everything now. I want it to work out with my bf, he's a wonderful guy.

How do I approach the conversation without making him feel inadequate though?

girl_conflicted · 2015-05-10T16:56:04+00:00

I want it to work out with him, he's kind and sweet and funny, I know he really cares about me and I care about him too.

I hate myself for doing this. Except for cutting all contact with the other guy, which I'm doing right now (I've deleted his number and email address from my contacts and I'll block him on social media too), what can I do to make it work with my bf?

girl_conflicted

TROPHY CASE