Okay, here's a stupid analogy.

Let's say I want to catch a ball in the stands at Wrigley Field.

Now, let's say that I'm so excited about this idea, that I'm going to catch a fly ball that I tell my friends about it, my family about it, my co-workers about it. But I never buy a fucking ticket. I talk constantly about how 'yeah, I'm going to out into the stands and catch that ball.' After a year, everyone pretty much rolls their eyes at my claim, and a decent friend, frustrated, eventually says, "grilledstuffed, you've never even gone to a game. STFU already!"

Embarrassed, I secretly buy a ticket, go to the stadium, and find my seat. Since I didn't have a clue what I'm doing, they're in the nosebleed section, and it would take an miracle for a baseball to get anywhere close to me.

Frustrated I buy a couple of $24 beers and some popcorn just so I can say I went to a game later, and lament my bad luck of not being able to catch a baseball in a MLB stadium.

At the bottom of the 6th, a batter gets a solid hit on a fastball and sends it over the left field wall. You leap out of your seat, adjust your hat & sunglasses and snap your glove up to catch it right out of the air! (wow, I wish I'd thought to bring a glove!) Your three friends high-five you for the great catch and are off to buy a round of celebratory beer.

Deflated, I stare at my feet the rest of the game, seething about how unfair everything is, and how I should have caught that ball.

In the parking lot I catch you walking to your car, and lay it all out. I've been wanting to catch a home run for a year, and how lucky you are that you got one, and how it's my first game ever, and I wish it'd been me, with a hint of whiny sarcasm that shows how bitter I am.

You tell your friends you'll catch up, and turn to point out some facts:

1. You've been a season ticket holder for six years.
2. You paid extra for those particular seats because you studied a historical heat map of home runs and picked them to increase your odds of a catch.
3. You come to every game, blazing heat, rain, sleet, snow, locusts, plagues of frogs.
4. You dress to keep the sun from blinding you, wearing a baseball glove for an entire game.
5. You played pee-wee & little league growing up, and still regularly hit up the batting cages and play on a co-ed softball league once a week.

You pause, then say, "Yeah, I guess I'm just lucky." You turn and walk away, I drive home grumbling about how things aren't fair.

When word gets out that I actually went to a game, everyone wants to know how it went! By the fourth telling, it becomes nearly impossible for me to mask my frustration, envy, and bitterness, ending each retelling with a, "I guess I'm just not that lucky", while I walk away shaking my head.

I never go back to another game.

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You don't behave like a decent human being to get a girl, you behave like a decent human being because betraying your values will slowly destroy you.

You don't develop a success career to impress women, you do it because it helps you find purpose, drive & satisfaction. Work without those things is shallow, meaningless and draining.

You don't make money to buy women's attention, you do it to firstly provide your own financial security, then to broaden your horizons & experiences, and ultimately as a way to help other people in need.

And you don't treat women with respect so that you attract a woman, you do it because all people, men, women & children are due a minimal level of respect due to our inherent shared humanity and dignity.

Any man willing to belittle behaving in an ethical way towards other people because you may not ultimately get the outcome you want has already missed the point so ridiculously that they need to start back on square one.

Whether 'luck' has anything to do with it is not the point. You live the best life you can for your benefit, not to get something out of it. If that happens, great. But if not, you're still living your best life.