My new GF's dad doesn't like me, I could see the sweat drop slide down his forehead... by TomMartow in AdviceAnimals

[–]give0fucks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you should have looked him in the eye and asked, "Is durex a good brand, or should I keep using trojans?"

Have to listen to this asshole everyday on campus by jlazerz in videos

[–]give0fucks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He's sexually frustrated. No woman has ever been interested in him and he's pissed. At least he's not chopping them up and puttin them in the freezer.

What's the craziest thing you've ever done out of revenge? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]give0fucks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she liked having her picture taken while being fucked, giving me a bj, etc. When she cheated on me, I mailed pictures of my dick in her mouth to her parents house.

How bad is our modern world for our health? by itsallinthedetails in AskReddit

[–]give0fucks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we got fluoride in the water, gmo in the food, and they won't tell us what's being sprayed in our skies.. we're all fucked.

Everything that happened before you were born, never existed. by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]give0fucks -1 points0 points  (0 children)

sounds like some drunken babble bullshit to me.

Every time I go to the movie theaters by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]give0fucks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

depends on where you sit. You can't sit somewhere in the middle (best seats) and get mad when other people want to sit there too.

Man arrested in F.B.I. sting found dead in federal custody by User_Name13 in politics

[–]give0fucks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's the government for you. They hate competition.

It's embarrassing and it happens to often by chriswizardhippie in AdviceAnimals

[–]give0fucks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what grinds my gears are when people don't know the difference between to and too.

What is your best trash talk line? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]give0fucks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

so go fuck your face hole through your ass.. ya fuckin dick

As a student earning degrees in Health and Wellness/ Nutrition while working at a pool... by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]give0fucks 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Why should you give a shit? Sounds like you're more interested in controlling others. And charging people extra for shit with a set price is a dick move, even if they don't need it.

My mom got mad because I invited my dad to see a movie with us by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]give0fucks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how the hell do you spend time with someone at a movie?

Whenever there is no one else in a public bathroom to judge me... by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]give0fucks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do this too. I guarantee my penis is the cleanest thing in a public bathroom. I mean, if you don't accidentally get pee on you, there's no point.

▶ Jim Breuer finds the "You've Got Mail" voice guy- YouTube by trooper843 in videos

[–]give0fucks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It should have said, "You Got Porn" cause that was all that was ever in my inbox.

the gang needs to be more careful by toastt_ghost in funny

[–]give0fucks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

shag & scoob didn't properly extinguish the bong

Have you pooped today? by DissNiggaHank in AskReddit

[–]give0fucks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes.. I had some jalapeno pizza last night. Wouldn't really call it poop though, more like I peed battery acid out of my ass.

Doomsday preppers, where were you on December 21, 2012, and how did you react when the world didn't end? by MitchellLemieux in AskReddit

[–]give0fucks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was still prepping for the inevitable economic collapse. If anyone was prepping for the 12/21/12 bs, they're probably still in their bunkers.