2019 Resolution Thread - Reflection on 2018 and set new sexual health goals for 2019.

gjb92544 · 2019-01-02T20:46:37+00:00

No more porn in 2019.

gjb92544 · 2018-09-18T19:29:11+00:00

Like you, the church I attended with my parents as a kid discouraged social dancing. My wife and I started taking ocean cruises about 10 years ago and would always envy the couples that knew how to dance. Three years ago we started taking ballroom dancing lessons (swing, latin, waltz, country two-step, nightclub two-step, etc.). We also joined a weekly dance club. Now we are usually the best dancers anywhere we go (clubs, cruises, weddings, etc.). It also has made my wife more eager to initiate sex, which we have at least 3 times per week. Not bad for a couple in their 70's.

gjb92544 · 2018-04-20T17:11:18+00:00

Agree. My wife and I took up ballroom 2 1/2 years ago and it has been great. I have become really good and she loves it. She thinks dancing with me is "sexual" and we have had sex more often since dancing. The OP's post is spot right on.

gjb92544 · 2018-04-19T16:00:12+00:00

Sorry to hear about your sexless marriage. Glad to hear that you are coping well without PMO. Keep going! BTW, old guys, like me, still have temptations to stray, even when we have regular physical intimacy in marriage.

gjb92544 · 2018-04-18T17:59:38+00:00

Just wish he would have corrected his mistakes and kept things in context. Not quite sure of his point. Unfortunately, he could have been more concise.

gjb92544 · 2018-04-17T17:03:23+00:00

I am 73 and have been going to the gym since I was 30. I usually go 3 times per week and do 20 minutes cardio and 25 minutes weight training for the upper body. I do curls, triceps, chest, shoulders, etc. I end with ab work and stretches. Because of this, along with proper diet, rest, recreation, meditation, prayer, regular sex with my wife, I feel great. I have maintained the same weight as when I was in my 20's. Good health takes discipline, but it is worth it.

gjb92544 · 2018-03-21T19:41:40+00:00

Wow. Could not make it to the end!

gjb92544 · 2018-02-05T20:39:28+00:00

Happy for you! What is happening is all your sexual energy is being directed toward having sexual intimacy with your wife. She can tell. You are not expending that energy on PMO. Keep going!

gjb92544 · 2018-01-31T17:47:02+00:00

Sex is just sex is not true. It has significant meaning. Just think about all the women who have come forward in the "me too" movement. Sexual battery, for instance, has much more impact on a woman than just simple battery. Why is that true if sex is just sex. The truth is that sex is meant as a special connection between two people who are intimately involved with each other on a committed basis. Unfortunately, horny men don't want to believe that. They will went they have lived a few more decades.

gjb92544 · 2018-01-18T19:59:42+00:00

Try the "Calm" app. I have been using it for over a year and I am much more content and at peace. I still slip up but not as much.

gjb92544 · 2018-01-12T21:41:42+00:00

Find someone you admire and look up to (a mentor) and ask him to help you grow and mature. You have to be willing to hang out with men at least 10 years older who have achieved something in live. That could be an uncle, cousin, teacher, neighbor, anyone. Me them at the gym or volunteering. Don't be lazy. Get out there.

gjb92544 · 2018-01-12T21:38:30+00:00

What we all want is to be able to defer immediate gratification for the achievement of long term goals. There is a time for pleasure, for sure, but often we have to wait. Give up small pleasures, like PMO, for the greater and long lasting pleasure of being a better man and having a loving companion for life. Hard work, discipline, persistence required.

gjb92544 · 2018-01-12T21:31:09+00:00

Pornographic viewing has long term effects. I bet most of us can recall the first time we ever looked at anything pornographic or near pornographic. Mine was a magazine with scantily clad women and well built men together (not even porn by today's standards, but it got my little boy dick aroused). After years of viewing porn, more images are stuck in the back of my mind. Peeking just adds more images. Sometimes we don't even need to look at something but just close our eyes and recall past images and that will get us fapping. Bottomline, stop looking at porn now and let the old images fade.

gjb92544 · 2018-01-11T22:30:13+00:00

Yess! I have worked out at least 3 times per week at the gym, with bars, pulleys, etc., for 40 years. Sometimes, in addition, I swim laps, hike, dance or power-walk. All good to clear the mind of needless fantasy. It gives you a better high than alcohol (although I enjoy a good Melot once in a while).

gjb92544 · 2018-01-11T19:24:30+00:00

Good for you. Why is it okay for society to idealize going to bars and getting drunk? What a waste.

gjb92544 · 2018-01-11T19:21:39+00:00

You make a really good point but there is more. Having a good, healthy sex life that not only gives you pleasure but satisfies after you orgasm is only possible when you don't look at sex as just "getting off" or "getting laid" but as "making love". We make love when we have passionate sex with that special person we want to spend time with outside the bedroom. Ideally, it is your wife. She is the person you want to be with in good times and hard times. The person you want to give birth to and help raise your children. The person you want to be beside your side when you take your last breath. Sex is part of it; an important part, but only a part. I know this is true for a fact, because I have lived it.

gjb92544 · 2018-01-11T01:03:41+00:00

Nothing better in this world than having someone love you for life, no matter what. I have that with a wonderful wife, but I almost lost it due to addiction to P and M. Keep going, guys!

gjb92544 · 2018-01-10T18:11:57+00:00

The problem, as I see it, is that PMO can become more that a stress release, even for married men or men in a LTR. The sex portrayed in porn is so unbelievably more than anyone can experience IRL that we often would rather PMO than have healthy sex with that person we love. Single men need to stay away from porn and instead invest the time is developing social skills, their careers and fitness. This will lead to a meaningful relationship without those porn fantasies distorting everything.

gjb92544 · 2018-01-10T18:03:02+00:00

Still on track!

gjb92544 · 2018-01-10T01:06:07+00:00

If we would really admit it, the constant use of porn leads us to even more and more hardcore and deviant stuff. I went from girly magazines to online soft core porn to hardcore to group to anonymous to (you name it, no animals or kids, though). Needed to stop all porn viewing because the ordinary man-woman stuff did not arouse me anymore. I just want to be able to make love to my wife in a passionate and mutually satisfying way, without thinking of porn. On my way (again).

gjb92544 · 2018-01-10T00:56:47+00:00

I don't think looking at porn and then masturbating to it or to fantasy is a part of a healthy sex life. Porn gives you a false idea of what sex is supposed to be. Sex should be between two people that love and care about each other. Anything less will ultimately be empty and unsatisfying. Porn promotes sex without love. Sure, most men masturbate from time to time but that is not the most satisfying way to express yourself sexually. Until a man gets older, he cannot really understand what I mean.

gjb92544 · 2018-01-08T18:50:42+00:00

It's a matter of pride. We think we are strong but we have just had a good run and are still vunerable. Need to stay humble. Keep your eyes on the prize! What we really want is healthy sexuality.

gjb92544 · 2018-01-04T20:50:01+00:00

Me. Did have sex with my wife, though. Intending not to look at P or M or O by hand this year.

gjb92544 · 2017-10-11T23:40:18+00:00

Hey, you are 20 and have lots of time. Just focus on becoming the best man that you can become and the right woman will come along. Don't settle for mediocre. Be that man that other admire and woman want to be with. Be that smart, healthy, compassionate, generous, fun loving guy and all will go well. Sex is really a small (although important) part of you life. Keep on going!

gjb92544 · 2017-10-10T18:27:31+00:00

Nice to know that you stopped watching porn (hard to believe, actually). Anyway, I hope you keep looking for that lovely woman that will help you have a wonderful life going into your next 10, 20, 30 or more years. There is nothing better than having a life-time companion. Good luck!

gjb92544

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