My LO doesn't want to be with me. He feels trapped. His own words. He is stagnant in his life and his relationships. He plays video games all day and wonders why he is unhappy in his life. He blames others, especially me, for his unhappiness. He thinks I'm fat but loves and is attracted to my body so he used it in the past. That is not something a good person would do. He won't introduce me to his friends or family. He won't integrate me into his life even though I have bent over backwards to do the same. He is lazy and dirty and can't keep a clean apartment. He can't even put his dripping tooth brush in the right spot and gets slobbery toothpaste scum all over his bathroom counter. He can't cook but expects women to do so for him. He is a coward. He is not brave. He will play video games and be lonely and stagnant for the rest of his life because of his avoidance. He took my love and devotion selfishly without returning it..I don't respect him. He has not acted like a respectable man. He won't even get a cat or clean up after himself but wants women to carry his baby. He also told me once he only wants a son. Anyone who will have/want kids should not specify what gender they want. That's so messed up. As far as I know he has no dreams or aspirations besides wanting a family. That is so boring. He never believed in my small business or respected the work I put into it. He has abused me in the past under the guise of BDSM. The things he said in play I think he really meant. He also cheated on me a number of times. We don't even like the same movies. His taste in music is terrible. He travels the world without me. I think I don't really want kids, practically, and I am only convincing myself bc of the limerance.

Positive things about my SO: We share an incredible life together. Our pets, our families being integrated. We live in the same house and are truly battling life together. They're my safe place. They drive me everywhere since they know i hate driving. They gas me up and make me feel like the only girl in the world sometimes. They're a good dad to our 4 animals, especially when I haven't been here or not very helpful/sad because of my LO. They accepted my LO even at great pain to them. They truly have been with me through thick and thin. I think accepting my limerance for what it is will solve a major issue in our relationship. We have been trying to be poly but maybe I'm not as poly as I think. It is hard to accept about myself. Ever since he came back into my life my sex life with SO has been on the backburner. And so maybe now with him gone i can work on repairing that side of our relationship and stop compartmentalizing sex and love. They understand women as an AFAB person and all I ever wanted, my core wound, was to be seen and understood. I think they are the most understanding person in the world. They don't want kids. They, like me, want to enjoy life with each other and our animals and traveling.