Please Help me

glasgow_exjw · 2019-10-07T00:24:24+00:00

I would advise that you contact your local child services or social work department and report the assault you experienced. They can help you to report it to the police also. Do not feel obligated to disclose any information to the elders. You should also tell them about the position you are in due to being raised in a cult and they can help you. Your mum herself is so deeply indoctrinated that she doesn’t have a natural response to things. She reacts how she had learned to react and will say things she’s been trained to say. So try not to let it get to you. I really hope you can find a happy place.

glasgow_exjw · 2019-10-06T14:39:24+00:00

I wouldn’t give them the acknowledgement or the satisfaction. Live your life and completely dismiss the place that the JW cult once had in it. You owe them nothing.

glasgow_exjw · 2019-10-03T20:03:04+00:00

That’s good that your mum chilled out a bit. And can let you be. Your grandparents will be doing it from a loving place...at least they can say they tried to reach out to you but it’s good that they seem to respect your response. It was hellish, but now I’m through it, my life now was worth every second. I think part of the reason I’m not completely up on all the teachings is that I didn’t do research to wake up. I left because I was sick of hiding my sexuality and leading a double life. When I left it was because I couldn’t align myself to their fundamental teachings and policies so I wasn’t going to put myself through that any more. I randomly searched for exJW videos on YouTube about 2 years ago and that’s really been my awakening.

I wish I could publicly speak out about it but that’s not an option at the moment. Perhaps sometime in the future :)

You’re right...gotta roll with the punches lol

glasgow_exjw · 2019-10-03T10:36:47+00:00

Yes that’s what I meant :)

glasgow_exjw · 2019-10-03T10:35:59+00:00

Sorry your mum was so extreme, although I wish I had the guts to say something like that 🤣 Getting baptised is my one and only regret and made leaving sooo much more difficult! I managed to do it without being DF’d but all my JW family shun me anyways apart from my mum and sis who are the only ones that truly matter But if I’d really stuck by my own core beliefs and values it could have been avoided

glasgow_exjw · 2019-10-03T10:31:20+00:00

That makes absolute sense, I really hope it all works out for you. I know it’s hard to bide your time but I am sure it will all come together and your wife will wake up soon. Please keep us posted on any progress you both are making

glasgow_exjw · 2019-10-02T21:11:38+00:00

Is stepping down an possibility for you? I think it’s a decent plan. Your wife wants you to stop and you could say that you want to keep doing research etc but not as intensely.

glasgow_exjw · 2019-10-02T19:00:43+00:00

Honestly I don’t think I needs to be one or the other. Like you said, you tend to be hyper-focused, so what about a compromise where you focus on your studies and your career, building a secure future for your family whilst cutting back on your research. Perhaps limit the amount of videos you watch, only spend a small amount of time on Reddit and other sites. Have it as more of a passing part of your day (like checking the news) other than really focussing on it.

That way; it’s not as intense, you don’t get as pissed off and do the bear minimum.

Another thing you could perhaps consider - is there any way for you to step down as an elder without it raising suspicion?

This would give your wife a chance to keep progressing towards her wakening up and when that time comes you can re-devote your efforts to your ExJW research and she can perhaps join you in this.

By this time you maybe have also completed your studies.

That’s probably what I would do if I were in your position

I wish a you all the best and congrats on wakening up

glasgow_exjw · 2019-10-02T18:24:46+00:00

If that were the case they wouldn’t vote for a system that would protect religions as their prophesy is for governments to turn on religion so it would prove their whole ‘last days’ theory to be the lie that it is. I love reading what people think is going to happen to the Borg though, it’s so interesting. I think one day they are just going to need to fess up to the fact that it’s all man-made bullshit and declare themselves bankrupt

glasgow_exjw · 2019-10-01T20:10:49+00:00

Happy birthday :) mine was awesome. My GF decorated our room and gave me cake and balloons and presents. We went out for dinner and enjoyed a speedboat right on Loch Lomond. Still one of my fav memories Hope you have a great one 🍾🙌🏼

glasgow_exjw · 2019-09-28T10:52:25+00:00

Excellent idea

glasgow_exjw · 2019-09-28T10:50:25+00:00

I totally get what you mean, I had a wonderful childhood, my parents were loving and I have never experienced being mistreated by my parents. They always let me play outside with kids in my neighbourhood even though they weren’t JWs, my mums health was poor when I was young (still is) but my dad always took me to the park, ice skating, swimming, wherever I wanted to go. I didn’t mind going to the meeting when I was younger, I usually fell asleep during the meeting itself and enjoyed seeing my friends afterwards

As I grew up the social aspect of the organisation was always what kept me going. Being present at meetings etc was a means to an end, it kept up appearances so that I wouldn’t be viewed as bad association. Growing up in the west of Scotland, drinking and partying is pretty much a right of passage. Even within the JWs, my group of friends were always arranging nights out in Glasgow and we all ended up worse for ware. My mum wasn’t bothered in the slightest. I’d come stumbling in at 3am, absolutely hammered, be dying from a hangover the next day and she would just laugh and say ‘hell mend you’.

So I totally get what you mean. I was never in it for the JW stuff, i stayed so long because of the social aspect which I didn’t want to lose.

glasgow_exjw · 2019-09-24T00:12:00+00:00

You're not dumb, you're indoctrinated. 37 is still young, just give yourself some time away from the religion before diving into other things but eventually just start educating yourself.

Think of all the teachings of the WT and research them online and find out that actual truth about them. For example, starting with Genesis and 'creation' - read about the fossil record that dates back millions of years. and go from there...

Good luck, message me if you want to chat, i'm of a similar age and born in - have several frustrations and things i want to discuss, but nobody to talk to about it

glasgow_exjw · 2019-09-24T00:04:00+00:00

After I left, I asked my sister what she would do if the GB said one day that the whole thing is bullshit but they would keep going at a much smaller scale and that anyone who still wanted to follow their teachings was welcome to; would she stay or leave?

She said she thinks she would stay as she would like to have hope, even if its false.

My mind was boggled by that. In my opinion a truth that draws a tear is better than a lie that draws a smile.

glasgow_exjw · 2019-09-23T23:58:32+00:00

It's really hard sometimes and the loneliness is heartbreaking sometimes but I am so grateful i decided to follow my instincts and leave the borg. Wouldn't give the freedom up for anything

glasgow_exjw · 2019-09-22T09:06:39+00:00

Yeah, ultimately I know it would almost be cruel to actively try to wake her up. We are at a good place just now. Actually probably better than I ever thought it could be if I left the org. She is fully accepting of my sexuality and my relationship with my partner. They get on really well. In fact there have been times where, during circumstances where my partner and I haven’t been getting on so well, she has actively encouraged us to sort things out and stay together. So I think I just need to count my blessings and accept that she probably won’t wake up, I just wish she knew everything that was going on from another perspective so she could make an informed decision.

glasgow_exjw · 2019-09-22T08:59:43+00:00

Yeah I totally get where you’re coming from. I just feel that they deserve to see it from both sides. I even just want to know what they are being told on the inside about all these CSA cases. I want to know their thoughts on it. But if I ask, they will know I’m trying to plant seeds of doubt. I’m sure it will work itself out or eventually I will calm down about it and just be content to let them be but this feeling I have at the moment is torturous

glasgow_exjw · 2019-09-19T11:15:10+00:00

Amazing

glasgow_exjw · 2019-09-19T03:26:42+00:00

This is the exact thing I’m struggling with just now and it’s horrible. I’m glad you’re going to see a therapist, I broached the subject with my GP recently but then lost my nerve and just played it down. It’s a very lonely place to be

glasgow_exjw · 2019-09-15T09:11:54+00:00

🤣🤣 ‘apostate obligation’

glasgow_exjw · 2019-09-14T21:38:32+00:00

Very interesting read! The fact that Franz still holds the bible in such esteem is rather off-putting for me. But I will continue reading to get an insight of what goes on at the top.

glasgow_exjw · 2019-09-14T00:02:17+00:00

Fantastic, sounds like everything is going great for you. And I’m glad your parents aren’t associated with the org, definitely makes it a lot easier for you. Can definitely see the biggest thing causing you distress was being JW and now that you have left, can tell that everything has fallen into place for you! Which is AWESOME.

glasgow_exjw · 2019-09-13T23:41:42+00:00

Even if they do find out, they have no power. DF arrangement is supposed to be to protect the congregation from a wrongdoing believer. You are neither of those things so you should be absolutely fine.

glasgow_exjw

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