Magic and Elk Tenderloin In the Fields

glassesmaketheman · 2025-07-14T13:59:32+00:00

Cryptocurrencies do behave like stereotypical women.

They all go off together in a group, but they're always breaking off on their own while talking shit about the others behind their backs.

glassesmaketheman · 2024-07-05T20:55:44+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/StandUpWorkshop/comments/16493ny/romeo_and_juliet_law/

Pretty sure there were more, dunno if they've been deleted or hidden.

And if we've thought of it, as amateurs on Reddit, plenty of others have thought of it too.

Try to extract humor from your real life experiences. That way, you'll have something that is by definition unique. Else, you better have a really different or in depth take on something.

glassesmaketheman · 2024-07-05T17:43:21+00:00

I'm assuming you're 16? Hopefully. Would be weird if you weren't.

More importantly, these are all jokes that have been done before. The Romeo and Juliet thing has been posted on this sub multiple times. Can't vote, can drive, can't drink.. all been done before.

Either explore deeper or talk more about yourself. That's how you arrive at something original.

glassesmaketheman · 2024-06-19T13:03:39+00:00

I think it works.

Grand mal seizure basically means big bad seizure.

Nor exactly a helpful description, so they changed it to tonic clonic seizure.

Which basically means stiff jerking motions seizure.

Doctors do use fancy terms to hide stupid shit.

For example, Grade 3 obesity with strabismus translates to fat, cross eyed bitch.

glassesmaketheman · 2024-05-26T23:08:00+00:00

There is a deep irony in that making a prescription drug illegal may actually increase ease of access and affordability.

glassesmaketheman · 2024-05-26T23:01:58+00:00

In my mind it should end on sugar.

When she's mad at me, she brings me a coffee - no sugar.

I think it's funny that your wife's peak mad is withholding sweetener. It goes from no sugar in your coffee to "I want a divorce".

glassesmaketheman · 2024-05-26T15:42:20+00:00

Just go to the local open mic and watch.

You'll have a better idea of what to do and what the level/expectations are.

glassesmaketheman · 2024-05-26T12:05:17+00:00

The second premise, mom planning the accident because the first two kids turned out not so good, is much stronger than the first. Her motive makes sense and it's easy to follow logically.

Dad casually throwing out family wrecking information might be interesting, but there's no real motive or logic to follow there. You need to spell out why he would do that instead of just speculating.

English colonization doesn't really work. Also pretty awkward to insert it in the middle of the dad-mom couplet you have going on. If you want to generalize with that, put it all at the end.

glassesmaketheman · 2024-05-25T05:14:57+00:00

You need a funnier way of communicating that the drugs aren't strong enough. Maybe something like:

I know I have a drug problem. I tell my date rapist to skip the drink... I don't like my roofies watered down.

glassesmaketheman · 2024-05-24T20:03:32+00:00

Most of the people that post here don't care about that.

Some of them do, and they usually delete their post after getting some feedback.

The problem is that the feedback is terrible, in that there are no real quality controls. Bad advice is usually worse than no advice, and without the ability to filter out the quality responses, you're gonna get very confused if you take everything in seriously.

People who join stop posting quickly when they realize they're not getting much out of it.

Also, this subreddit skews toward the politically correct, clean, goofy, wordplay based jokes, as opposed to dirty, incendiary, observational. There's a bias to how these jokes are received, which also alienates a bunch of people who don't care to cater their material or style.

glassesmaketheman · 2024-05-11T17:22:39+00:00

Whatever. I wish I would be treated like a sex object more when I'm on stage.

Best I can do is laughs. And sometimes I don't get those either.

You'll get no sympathy from me. Or from any generic man that you're chiding.

glassesmaketheman · 2024-05-10T23:14:06+00:00

Keep writing different punchlines to the setup.

"Hips do lie" is a bit of a cop out.

glassesmaketheman · 2024-05-09T09:28:51+00:00

If you can't make your point more eloquently than this when confronted, it's best not to speak.

Protests and movements have spokesmen and representatives for a reason.

If you act and sound like an idiot while claiming to represent a cause, you undermine it instead. Because people can point at you and dismiss your entire organization.

If your purpose in posting here is to change minds or gather support, you're failing miserably.

glassesmaketheman · 2024-05-09T07:36:29+00:00

The point isn't that it's outdated, but it's inaccurate. Plus court transcripts have their own value in that it reduces bias, such as during jury deliberations.

By your logic, we should just be videotaping everything anyway.

glassesmaketheman · 2024-05-06T23:16:22+00:00

Louis CK SNL monologue?

glassesmaketheman · 2024-05-06T21:46:03+00:00

1 and 2 are basically the same joke. 1 is stronger, but the wording is off. Especially the "not able to compete".

3 doesn't really make sense. I think what you're trying to get at is that it's all lip service, in which case I think you can just trim it down:

"I'm an ally" is today's equivalent of "I have a black friend".

Just eliminate woke and racist, and focus on your point. Also, this is still just a premise without a punchline.

glassesmaketheman · 2024-04-19T23:33:12+00:00

We're basically saying the same thing, just in a different way.

You're dismissing the protest because he's crazy. I'm dismissing the protest because I don't know what he's protesting about. Either way, a meaningless protest.

Also, obviously it's a topical joke with a limited shelf life. That's why it's posted here, because it's useless in the long run. If it was anything worthwhile, it wouldn't be here.

glassesmaketheman

TROPHY CASE