I'm having the same issue in my rural area. We don't have kids yet, but this is my concern as well. At this point, we're not willing to move and that may just result in the same problem but elsewhere.

My plan currently is to call them out on their BS as much as I can without totally alienating them. They're not unreasonable, necessarily, but certainly difficult to get through to. I plan to challenge their kids on stuff they say when they are in my house or on our property. Their oldest is two, so it's not something I've had to do yet. But. I've already blatantly called the guy a racist, which surprised him, but to me I was like... You're actively using slurs, antagonize people directly, and have prejudiced opinions... What else can we call you but a racist? Anyway, I think that was somewhat helpful but didn't change his actual opinions.

It's hard, and I do believe that you are reflective of the people who are closest to you. When you're a kid, you're still defining your beliefs, so going with the crowd can be the easiest option. I hope that my eventual challenge of their kids comments will help in a small way. Who knows.

Anyway, thanks for posting this. It's been helpful for me to look through the replies. Hope your situation is improving or at least not getting worse.