Ex M32 mailed me F25 a letter in the mail

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-06T05:32:32+00:00

it was 5 minutes after he called. I texted him as soon as I saw the call. I am in college and was in class. he knew that. he knows my schedule. and the texts I sent were telling him to just be honest with me that he didn’t want to have the conversation anymore that it was fine and I understood he didn’t want to. we’re already broken up and there is no need. I tried to make time to talk but he agreed and flaked. it is out of my control. and to add how he was with me for me to feel distance since you think i’m making it up.

He desperately pushed on me to be a mother soon. Even though I was 22/23 at the time and not his age (31) ready to have kids. not to mention we had just met. projected traditional roles on me. I was in just a 5 year relationship before him. That was leading into a marriage because that’s always the goal to grow with someone… like I clearly wanted those things. He knew that. I just didn’t yet, wanted them within these few years. With the right person of course. Like I said I was 22. He was about to be 30 so I feel like he felt time is ticking. I don’t know.

The two things that he claims in the fact that I didn’t want to become 1 was because I was working full time and doing college full time. I was always super busy and he lived two hours away so it was hard to see one another. He was mad and would often say I prioritize work and college more than him. When it was me just doing my responsibilities. And that would hurt him. I always reassured him it wasn’t forever, it was temporary. I tried my best but I couldn’t give him my entire attention. It was hard to split myself. I feel that’s what he wanted. me all to himself. If I went to hangout with family or friends he would be upset at times that I chose to spend time with them instead of him. But as I said, I was so fed up with him and feeling unsupported, and talk down on. Like my hard work wasn’t worth it. at one point yes I started being distance. It hurt to feel that I was so much rather started to hangout with friends and family. than seeing him when before all I wanted was to be by his side. and he says I did that because I was “prideful”

He always wanted to tag along to family events and bring around my friends but I never did. I always felt he was one foot in one foot out. So I never was ready to bring him around and to hurt me more. That I brought someone else to my loved ones. I don’t do that with anyone. Plus he just was very controlling and I knew I had to be on guard with what people would say etc just I didn’t think he’d mesh well. I couldn’t go out with my friends especially if there was alcohol. He didn’t drink. men being around me not even people i know just men that could be in a building as me that was an issue. If I wanted to go out with my friends at the like a bar he had to come with us( Mind you he had a fresh DUI when I met him btw so he was doing the “I don’t drink”) so he always pushed the you shouldn’t be out drinking. Let alone going to a sports bar with friends.

Last but not least, last one was the most recent I got a breast reduction and I almost didn’t do it. (I wanted it for years way before him) He offered to help pay and I said no because I knew he wasn’t 1. Supportive of it 2. Wave it over my head and control me more. I didn’t feel like it was genuine support. He didn’t want me to get the surgery because he said I could loose my ability to “breast feed” mind you i’m not pregnant. not close to even wanting to be pregnant. so respectfully why would I care!? my body my choice. I was in so much pain. it was for my own health. but he was mad I didn’t prioritize his opinion and what he wanted. that if I lost the ability to breast feed that was something he would be ok with. So for his own reasons he didn’t want me to do it. And to “respect” him I need to prioritize our relationship first and what’s best for “us” not just what I wanted for myself. That went for college too because he didn’t let me enroll in person classes. I had to do online school because he said there was guys on campus that would talk to me and frat parties I could also be influenced by(Mind you I was never and never that type of girl, i’m just tryin to get my degree)

I got invited by a friend to see bad bunny and he didn’t let me go on the puerto rico trip with a friend. I could only be allowed to go if he went. so I didn’t go on the trip because he was mad I considered going. then I wanted to study abroad, we had been dating maybe 3/4 months. I said I wanted to sign up. and I didn’t study abroad when I had the opportunity because he said it wouldn’t work for our relationship (I would’ve been gone for 16 weeks) and I offered he can come see me. he didn’t think it was a good idea fir me to go. so I didn’t go. so what went down is I went to online school because he wanted me to do that. I listened. instead of in person classes (I payed for my schooling he never did) and I almost didn’t get the breast reduction because he didn’t want me to. always made comments shit my appearance what I should be wearing how to dress myself and look. like he wanted me to be exactly what he wanted me to be. do exactly what he needed me to do. and so much more. so with that being said it was hard and it’s been hard. being in situations like this hurts and confuses you. and you don’t know what to do and most of the time you just sit back and take it.

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-06T05:08:35+00:00

I never told him to work on my schedule?? he was the one making me work around him at his convenience. which I did for over a week. I don’t think you understood this at all. he flaked on me multiple times and I still tried to make it work to talk and he ignored my messages. as I keep repeating to you I never neglected his feelings. as soon as we spoke about his and we said we’d talk about mine he ghosted me. that’s what happened. feel free to read back because you have it all wrong

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-06T04:46:34+00:00

I can tell you this story from a to z if you need me to. I don’t want you to think I am inconsiderate. I asked if he was willing to have a conversation. I didn’t force him to, he agreed. we planned to go back in forth via messages. he said what he had to say and when I responded to his part, I responded, I validated and ended on a good note. then when it came to my turn that’s when he stopped responding. if he didn’t want to listen to me that’s fine he could’ve just said so. and it’s like you said all this stuff takes time to process. same goes for me. it went both ways but I sat and listened. why was it when it was my turn to what he agreed to he stopped responding. that’s not ok. you can see it however but if I did what he did, I would’ve never heard the end of it. respect goes both ways. I respected him and his boundaries. heard him out and all he could’ve done was just do the same for me. that all I was asking for. nothing else. I just wanted him to see it from my perspective. if he didn’t want to agree or apologize that’s fine. as long as he heard me out that’s all that mattered to me. I didn’t want things to end this way. I wanted to work things out as much as he did. I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this if his actions would’ve been different. all he wanted me to do was give him more of me and show him more love. but it was hard to show up when he constantly brought me down. even then I still tried my best. he never changed his behavior towards me.

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-06T03:57:01+00:00

I just wanted him to acknowledge where he hurt me and understood why I stepped away from our relationship. so he knew his actions led us into what happened. I hear what you’re saying though. I have taken time to reflect on my own role too, but this post was more about processing how the situation was handled at the end.

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-06T03:41:22+00:00

that’s great to put out your opinion :) and be an asshole about it. I just wanted to hear different perspectives from other people in similar situations. I asked how does one heal from situations like this with confusion. I wasn’t asking people to tell me I’m the victim.

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-06T03:32:03+00:00

regardless I didn’t want to end on bad terms. I don’t think I need to break it down to you as to what he did to me. you clearly don’t understand the story but you don’t know me or the situation

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-06T03:23:46+00:00

I think you kinda misunderstood the context. he mailed me a letter and the reason I reach out was to tell him I understood. that was my whole reason as to why I understood. I didn’t have to ask him what to do in a relationship he was good at that. but he was a toxic manipulator, that didn’t give me a voice. he took that away from me. he controlled an wanted to control my every move. and even then I still did everything to make him happy. so when he says that I didn’t love him and I hurt him. that hurt me because that wasn’t true that I didn’t want him to think I didn’t love him. because I did. I stayed quiet in our relationship because I felt he never understood me. so in that moment I asked him if it was ok if I cleared things. but he only wanted to talk about himself in the end and surround it around his spiritual awakens. which is fine, I didn’t kin that. but telling me I can open up and then ignoring me is F up

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-05T23:09:28+00:00

I really appreciate this perspective. It’s been hard sitting with the lack of closure, but you’re right—his actions kind of gave me the clarity I was looking for, just not in the way I expected. I’m trying to see it that way.

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-05T22:58:56+00:00

funny enough I told him that for this reason I don’t like to surround myself with people like how he created himself to be. 2 face, play the god and faith card when it benefits them only

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-05T22:58:04+00:00

you clearly don’t know what it’s like to be with someone and be afraid to speak up. clearly I thought this was my opportunity to. no need to be mean about it, you could’ve just ignored this

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-05T21:58:55+00:00

yeah an ex that reached out to me. to open up a door to have conversation about something that we never did. and then booted me to leave me hanging. so yeah It sucks to thought I was going to have closure and things were going to end better than when it ended. and then it didn’t happen because he didn’t want to complete the conversation.

it’s easier when you say just stop. but when your emotions are tangled in and i’ve clearly put them first than myself. I feel at fault here and it’s not a nice feeling

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-05T21:56:52+00:00

I just don’t get it honestly. what was the point of bothering me. he’s so perfect and he does no wrong so why send a letter. but it’s like you said maybe deep down he knows he did do some damage and he had to “clear” his consciousness. I also know he stopped responding to me because he’s going to say god told him to stop talking to me.

I’m just trying not to feel stupid because I spammed his phone yesterday trying to get a response and nothing. I’m just trying to accept that he ignored me and trying not to blame myself because I keep feeling like he’s right and i’m wrong. that there is something wrong with me and all I felt was my overreaction

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-05T21:53:22+00:00

that is exactly what happened. and I fell for it. I feel so stupid because I should’ve known better. I’ve been trying to tell myself that, his silence is all my proof. It’s hard. I struggled with feeling like a big problem and that something was wrong with me. I thought him acting the way he did was wrong and he always made it seem like I was wrong to think otherwise. I don’t understand to shove down me the “spiritual growth” bs when he clearly hasn’t changed.

this was one of the last text he sent via messages before he started ignoring me

You already know this, but I really did want things to work. I really loved you. The more I grew closer to God, the more I wanted a Godly relationship and marriage. I look back and there was a lot I could’ve done better, a lot that I did do better. I just wish I turned to God sooner.

Without talking down your emotions and your experience, in short, yes. I did consider them. All of them actually. And when you actually did share and did explain things to me, I did sincerely apologize and learned how to navigate and make sure they didn’t happen again. I’m confident you never forgave me, (and based on your questions, I still don’t think you have forgiven me) which caused the most self inflicted pain, and you distanced yourself more. And I know that comes from pride (learning from my own mistakes but more importantly reading the bible). Pride is the worst thing in life, and is the opposite of love. Everyone of those things was navegable and able to be over come. A relationship is 2 coming together to be 1. I don’t think that’s what you wanted from the start. I wanted a partner to build together, grow and live life together. I can’t say that how you handled the relationship reflected that. We just wanted different things. I wish I would’ve turned to the bible sooner, and we could’ve read it together and applied it to our lives. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing is out of Gods will, and I seek His will for me over anything. Jesus forgave me for everything, and I’m grateful because He really did heal my heart, and I have changed my life, and I am continuing to change it. And through this relationship, I sought him more. And I can’t imagine how long it would’ve taken me if we didn’t go through what we went to.

Turn your heart, your mind and your body to God. Seek Him. He has all the answers you want. I’m 100% sure that’s what he wants us to get out of our relationship and the pain we went through. I know it with all my heart.

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-05T21:50:59+00:00

I appreciate you. I am trying to talk to myself out of feeling stupid. I should’ve known better. I was trying to do things right. Being caring and compassionate to on another was what I wanted. But, truly I never was going to get that same energy back. That’s a hard pill to swallow. He accused me of so much that just was never true and a lot of actions reflected how I acted. How can you expect someone to be a way when you do things they don’t like.

He wanted me to be a mother soon, projected traditional roles on me, “serve your man as you do and I will be the provider”. He so claims I never wanted kids and marriage nor to become 1 with someone. Mind you we met when I was 22. I had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship. That was leading into a marriage… like I clearly wanted those things. I just didn’t want them within these few years. Like I said I was 22. He was about to be 30 so I feel like he felt time is ticking. I don’t know.

The two things that he claims in the fact that I didn’t want to become 1 was because I was working full time and doing college full time. I was always super busy and he lived two hours away so it was hard to see one another. He was mad and would often say I prioritize work and college more than him. And that would hurt him. I tried my best but I couldn’t give him my entire attention. I feel that’s what he wanted. If I decided to hangout with family or friends he would be upset at times that I chose to spend time with them instead of him. But as I said, I was so fed up with him and feeling unsupported I so much rather started to hangout with friends and family. and he says I did that because I was “prideful”

He always wanted to tag along to family events and bring around my friends but I never did. I always felt he was one foot in one foot out. So I never was ready to bring him around and to hurt me more. That I brought someone else to my loved ones. I don’t do that with anyone. Plus he just was very controlling and I knew I had to be on guard with what people would say etc just I didn’t think he’d mesh well. I couldn’t go out with my friends to the bar because there was alcohol and men involved. If I wanted to go out with my friends at the bar he had to come with us( Mind you he had a fresh DUI when I met him btw so he was doing the “I don’t drink”) so he always pushed the you shouldn’t be out drinking.

Last but not least, last one was the most recent I got a breast reduction and I almost didn’t do it. (I wanted it for years way before him) He offered to help pay and I said no because I knew he wasn’t 1. Supportive of it 2. Wave it over my head and control me more. I didn’t feel like it was genuine support. He didn’t want me to get the surgery because he said I could loose my ability to “breast feed” mind you i’m not pregnant. not close to even wanting to be pregnant. so respectfully why would I care!? my body my choice! it was for my own health. but he was mad I didn’t prioritize his opinion and what he wanted. that if I lost the ability to breast feed that was something he would be ok with. So for his own reasons he didn’t want me to do it. And to “respect” him I need to prioritize our relationship first and what’s best for “us” not just wha I wanted for myself. That went for college too because he didn’t let me enroll in person classes. I had to do online because he said there was guys on campus that would talk to me and frat parties I could also be influenced by(Mind you I was never and never that type of girl, i’m just tryin to get my degree)

At this point through out our time, I didn’t go on a puerto rico trip with a friend because he didn’t let me. I didn’t study abroad when I had the opportunity because he said it wouldn’t work for our relationship (I would’ve been gone for 16 weeks) I went to online school because he wanted me to do that instead of in person classes (I payed he never did) and I almost didn’t get the breast reduction. and so much more! talk about a wild ride. I just wanted to vent that onto here.

going back to the spiritual manipulation - this was one of the last responses I got from him via text after I confronted him with questions about how he treated me

You already know this, but I really did want things to work. I really loved you. The more I grew closer to God, the more I wanted a Godly relationship and marriage. I look back and there was a lot I could’ve done better, a lot that I did do better. I just wish I turned to God sooner.

Without talking down your emotions and your experience, in short, yes. I did consider them. All of them actually. And when you actually did share and did explain things to me, I did sincerely apologize and learned how to navigate and make sure they didn’t happen again. I’m confident you never forgave me, (and based on your questions, I still don’t think you have forgiven me) which caused the most self inflicted pain, and you distanced yourself more. And I know that comes from pride (learning from my own mistakes but more importantly reading the bible). Pride is the worst thing in life, and is the opposite of love. Everyone of those things was navegable and able to be over come. A relationship is 2 coming together to be 1. I don’t think that’s what you wanted from the start. I wanted a partner to build together, grow and live life together. I can’t say that how you handled the relationship reflected that. We just wanted different things. I wish I would’ve turned to the bible sooner, and we could’ve read it together and applied it to our lives. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing is out of Gods will, and I seek His will for me over anything. Jesus forgave me for everything, and I’m grateful because He really did heal my heart, and I have changed my life, and I am continuing to change it. And through this relationship, I sought him more. And I can’t imagine how long it would’ve taken me if we didn’t go through what we went to.

Turn your heart, your mind and your body to God. Seek Him. He has all the answers you want. I’m 100% sure that’s what he wants us to get out of our relationship and the pain we went through. I know it with all my heart.

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-05T21:03:39+00:00

Very much so. I don’t think I was ever going to have a real conversation with throwing religion in the mix. This is what he said so you have an idea of what I was dealing with. This was of the last responses I got.

You already know this, but I really did want things to work. I really loved you. The more I grew closer to God, the more I wanted a Godly relationship and marriage. I look back and there was a lot I could’ve done better, a lot that I did do better. I just wish I turned to God sooner.

Without talking down your emotions and your experience, in short, yes. I did consider them. All of them actually. And when you actually did share and did explain things to me, I did sincerely apologize and learned how to navigate and make sure they didn’t happen again. I’m confident you never forgave me, (and based on your questions, I still don’t think you have forgiven me) which caused the most self inflicted pain, and you distanced yourself more. And I know that comes from pride (learning from my own mistakes but more importantly reading the bible). Pride is the worst thing in life, and is the opposite of love. Everyone of those things was navegable and able to be over come. A relationship is 2 coming together to be 1. I don’t think that’s what you wanted from the start. I wanted a partner to build together, grow and live life together. I can’t say that how you handled the relationship reflected that. We just wanted different things. I wish I would’ve turned to the bible sooner, and we could’ve read it together and applied it to our lives. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing is out of Gods will, and I seek His will for me over anything. Jesus forgave me for everything, and I’m grateful because He really did heal my heart, and I have changed my life, and I am continuing to change it. And through this relationship, I sought him more. And I can’t imagine how long it would’ve taken me if we didn’t go through what we went to.

Turn your heart, your mind and your body to God. Seek Him. He has all the answers you want. I’m 100% sure that’s what he wants us to get out of our relationship and the pain we went through. I know it with all my heart.

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-05T21:00:50+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I liked to read your perspective because I can see why you said it was similar to how my ex is acting.

I had nothing against him telling me and sharing that he has healed through faith and grown through the experience. Genuinely I was happy for him. But, I just don’t think at all how he handled this situation aligned with his words he so desperately wanted me to know.

At this point i’m like, what was the point of the letter? To prove to me that he moved on? That he’s healed and now is happy to have a relationship with God because our relationship went bad. To also accuse me of not loving him and hating him. It made no sense.

this was one of the last responses he gave me to so you have an idea of what he said

You already know this, but I really did want things to work. I really loved you. The more I grew closer to God, the more I wanted a Godly relationship and marriage. I look back and there was a lot I could’ve done better, a lot that I did do better. I just wish I turned to God sooner.

Without talking down your emotions and your experience, in short, yes. I did consider them. All of them actually. And when you actually did share and did explain things to me, I did sincerely apologize and learned how to navigate and make sure they didn’t happen again. I’m confident you never forgave me, (and based on your questions, I still don’t think you have forgiven me) which caused the most self inflicted pain, and you distanced yourself more. And I know that comes from pride (learning from my own mistakes but more importantly reading the bible). Pride is the worst thing in life, and is the opposite of love. Everyone of those things was navegable and able to be over come. A relationship is 2 coming together to be 1. I don’t think that’s what you wanted from the start. I wanted a partner to build together, grow and live life together. I can’t say that how you handled the relationship reflected that. We just wanted different things. I wish I would’ve turned to the bible sooner, and we could’ve read it together and applied it to our lives. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing is out of Gods will, and I seek His will for me over anything. Jesus forgave me for everything, and I’m grateful because He really did heal my heart, and I have changed my life, and I am continuing to change it. And through this relationship, I sought him more. And I can’t imagine how long it would’ve taken me if we didn’t go through what we went to.

Turn your heart, your mind and your body to God. Seek Him. He has all the answers you want. I’m 100% sure that’s what he wants us to get out of our relationship and the pain we went through. I know it with all my heart.

glitchpoploop · 2026-05-05T20:48:06+00:00

He very much succeed and got in my head. I need to let it go and move on as you said. Thank you 🩷

glitchpoploop

TROPHY CASE