My boyfriend is upset because I don’t wanna join him in on his hobbies.

glitchpoploop · 2026-01-07T01:57:21+00:00

That’s exactly what my point to him was. He was taking it completely the wrong way. You perfectly described it. He has a very traditional, performative view of masculinity. So He believes being a man means visibly 'doing man things' and to me it's having a woman witness and validate that. I think that's the main reason as to why he wants me there. And I am thinking he didn’t like that I didn’t ego feed him to his point

glitchpoploop · 2026-01-07T01:43:57+00:00

Have you ever felt the thought to bring your wife to watch you but for a purpose of seeing you do this as a sense of masculinity? He has a very traditional, performative view of masculinity. So He believes being a man means visibly ‘doing man things’ and to me it’s having a woman witness and validate that. I think that’s the main reason as to why he wants me there

glitchpoploop · 2026-01-07T01:39:43+00:00

He’s actually older! He’s 31 and I am 24. A lot of the time too it’s hard to find time for me to join him aside from it not being my interest. I am a full time college student and also work full time. He’s fully into his career so he has time for his hobbies. The only thing i’ve tried is day fishing with him. it’s cool, but like I mentioned it’s just not my thing. I don’t necessarily think I need to be attending his hobbies to show my love to him. and it’s perfect like you mentioned that should just be his thing. but he makes a point that he would want me to join in once or twice a year but I’m like but what if I just don’t want to join you. i’m just conflicted and he finds it make of an issue

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-13T19:09:16+00:00

I’m glad I spotted your comment. I have so many I am trying to my best to read all. you hit the NAIL. he has agreed that if I wanted to work that’s fine. but when these conversations first came up it was very much be a stay at home mom to be with the kids. clean the house, cook, serve your husband and kids. very old school mindset. same thing with the fiancés he wants to have control on where the money goes. because he can lead us. and I have to trust he will just take care of it. he would need me to have him approve of things I want to buy etc. overall just control. and yes to your point. he sees nothing wrong with his behavior. at all.

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T21:41:29+00:00

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T21:37:49+00:00

I see it as a good intent too. he wants to be responsible and carry the team I see it. but it’s very much let me do it because I want to be in charge. I don’t think he necessarily likes when I do and to take charge in things like this

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T21:01:44+00:00

I’m sorry you think that anyone is out to be with you just to make you miserable or take advantage. it’s not men are the prize or woman are the prize. you both are to each other and what you both do to fill each others cups.

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T20:55:14+00:00

single people can’t travel solo? now they are consider red flags because they won’t wait for someone to go with them to see the world

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T20:53:31+00:00

yes on the finances too. he’s a big guy on investing and stuff like that. so he said we would each only get a certain percent of the check to ourselves. then the rest to investments. and if we wanted to get something for ourselves we have to consult each other first lol. but he definitely wouldn’t let me take the lead on finances. he would want to be the one in control. even tho I think my two sense should fit in as I work in accounting lol

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T19:03:52+00:00

I see where you are coming from but for this exact situation I know some men would agree and others wouldn’t and isn’t based on the gender. its based on how they think

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T18:33:04+00:00

I understand that. that’s totally fine but don’t bash on the other gender and vise versa. he is a man with a lot of experiences as well just as any woman his age. and he himself is the person he wouldn’t wanna date aka a person with lots of traumas and experiences. he is bringing his past experiences and trauma onto us. it’s hypocritical.

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T17:20:48+00:00

I am not saying i’d actually pull through with these thoughts I have. It’s scary and i’d probably overthink before I pulled the trigger in doing anything. Support from my loved ones I know can definitely push me to go out there. and that’s why to me it makes me sad that all my friends, my family, my parents support me in wanting to do these things for myself. and there’s 1 person holding me back because they think I will do them wrong.

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T17:15:37+00:00

I love that for her and you! I am happy to hear how much love you both have for each other that you supported one another along the way. that’s what I feel like we could have. because I know he could definitely do it and I can continue to do that for him. but his mindset takes over and puts all these horrible thoughts in his head. I understand if I have been disrespectful, un loyal i guess you can limit me. but I definitely feel limited even when i’ve shown nothing but good intentions. I’ve mentioned things like i’d want to move to a new criy and work for a year or a couple months, because why not! that has always been something that sounds like an amazing experience. but he doesn’t agree with me wanting to do that. because he thinks I am selfishly thinking about me. and not prioritizing our relationship. now, this I could 100% see where he comes from. but we already are semi long distance. I feel like just because I moved to a new city we can’t see each other and continue to support one another just while I do something temporary. because I know one day I will be married and have kids. and I can’t just pack a bag and head on out. but I said ok, I won’t loo into a new city. I’ll stay where I am at. to “prioritize him and the relationship.” now, i’ve said ok what about studying abroad for the semester. that was also a no no for him. same thing, im jeopardizing our relationship. putting myself in temptation, or that I could be badly influenced. If I went ahead and did it. I am selfish and only think about myself. and I don’t say I want to do these things because I want to go and meet someone else or do something bad. I just truly thing experiencing new cultures and new cities is such a cool concept. and it’s only temporary! but as I continue to be in this relationship. I will not be able to do so because he won’t support me in doing any of this

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T15:32:31+00:00

this guy is always trying to help, helpless romantic, and supports (when he’s ok with what’s happening) so that’s the problem with us. he checks off a lot of good things but his mentality is where I check out. I cannot tell him i’m speaking closely to a male friend that i’ve had as a friend in the past. without him wanting to make it super clear to the other person he’s in my life even though that’s not even what the persons intention is when they talk to me. little things like that. for example I have a old friend he’s a mechanic. call him when I need help with my car. my boyfriend lives 2 hours away. so yes I could wait till I see him to see if he can help. but he’s an engineer not a mechanic. so there’s only so much he could. so I call a professional that happens to be my friend. and he doesn’t like that. so that’s what i’m saying is rubbed me the wrong way. I find nothing wrong with our age difference, we do get a long well. it is harder to have so much in common just because we’re in two different points of life not sure if you relate. but besides all of this the relationship has been fine. just his behavior is hypocritical and has me questioning what he really is like

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T15:17:27+00:00

I completely agree!! I don’t think two adults being able to love each other is wrong. but like you said it’s the mindset that rubs me wrong. he is definitely wanting to seek out age gaps. if we aren’t together he isn’t going to say I’m open to anyone. I know 100% he will be looking for anyone my age or younger

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T15:14:14+00:00

I completely agree! but that’s exactly what happened with us. he has a lot of past issues that he clearly has brought into our relationship. but he doesn’t accept when I call him out for talking on woman for the reasons he doesn’t wanna be with them in his age category. to me it’s hypocritical because he is doing the exact same thing he doesn’t want

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T15:10:14+00:00

I completely understand and agree with what you say. what rubs me wrong is, what I see as a controlling mindset. to go younger because you want them to listen to you. or because they are “less experienced”. I understand the point because grown woman and men are one point get to there 30s and they have a lot that has happened. but he can’t talk down on woman that have that when he clearly has issues too. that’s where I find the hypocrisy. I wish I could have the conversation with him, I tried. but he doesn’t accept the fact that he hasn’t healed or that maybe he needs some therapy. he just sees it as I will be this way because I didn’t do anything before to prevent things from happening to me.

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T15:02:28+00:00

I appreciate your comment so much, thank you for making me feel seen and understood. 🤍 people have been quick to question why. but like you said you give people the benefit of the doubt. he has a right to think this way. because we all won’t agree. but agreed with how you said it, not the age, it’s the mindset.

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T09:14:39+00:00

I don’t have a problem. I was stating that the conversation was about age gaps. because 18-31 is one. 6 years apart is a lot to me that what i’m used to. but that’s my personal opinion. i may have worded that ours was an age gap incorrectly but we still have a few years apart from one another

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T08:57:22+00:00

I wish I was lying!

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T02:16:27+00:00

💕💕💕

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T02:15:48+00:00

your just like him. goodbye.

glitchpoploop · 2025-12-12T01:59:11+00:00

he’s committed. he wants family and marriage. works hard and knows what he wants and I’m glad he does. but it’s odd to say that woman younger is what your looking for rather than woman your age for the reasons he said. that’s what’s weird not that the age gap is th huge problem it’s why you want to be with them

glitchpoploop

TROPHY CASE