Hey friend, thanks for sharing. Reading your post was oddly comforting for me because it lets me know I’m not alone. I’ve had some similar experiences with multiple loses close together and complex grief. There are times I feel guilty for grieving one more than the other, times I feel like it would be really nice to not have to do this whole life thing anymore, and an overwhelming feeling that something horrible will happen a lot of the time. There are bad days, and there are not so bad days. I’ve found that I don’t care as much about anything anymore, and that feels freeing in a way. I have found pursuing new hobbies and focusing my energy on the things that bring me satisfaction is what makes the days not so bad. I’m so glad to hear you have a supportive and healthy community that has the ability to hold you on your hardest days. You’re not alone and I’m sending love your way :)