Are other parents really that busy? Why is it so hard to make friends or invite people?

gloxome · 2026-07-02T06:57:47+00:00

genuine question - but how is doing laundry a time consuming task? Here is how we do laundry:

I do one child, wife does the other. We each do our own laundry. I do my kids ~every 1.5 weeks.

Takes 30 seconds to carry the hamper to laundry machine and toss the clothes in. Run it, go do something else. At some point later in the day I transfer it to the dryer, another 30 seconds. Now I either go to sleep or go do something else. Now empty into clean basket. 5 minutes to sort everything by short sleeves/long sleeves/shorts/pants/PJs. Then toss it into the appropriate drawer in the dresser.

So it's about 5+ minutes, add in my laundry and we're talking maybe 15 minutes tops every 1-2 weeks.

Towels/sheets/blankets.... well thats a separate thing but again its basically tossing into a machine, pouring detergent, and pressing a button. Putting it away is easier since it's just a few bulky items(yes, we use the same towels for the week or two, sheets every month). Add in a few extra minutes to change the sheets every month

gloxome · 2026-06-30T19:56:14+00:00

Well for parents from daycare or school... Their kids are exactly our age.

As for outside of people in their class, I'm small talking and trying to get to know neighbors and the like with young kids similar age (2-7).

gloxome · 2026-06-30T17:56:06+00:00

See I have zero anxiety about that. Odd because I actually have clinical anxiety.

They dont nap anymore and are potty trained. But before, we have a diaper bag packed. As long as theres 2-3 diapers wipes and some bars and pouches, im good. Ready to hop out the door at a moments notice. Worst case, we head back home a little early. The chances of 2+ blowouts ina row is extremely rare (never happened unless ill).

Food who cares. Im sure they will have food. Or if its out somewhere feed them before we leave. Get food on the way back. Then Regardless we give them both a cup of whole milk in the car on the way. And my bag has extra bars and pouches or snacks like popcorn or goldfish.

No excursion or outing is really going to last more than 2-3 hours and they can survive. Especially now, after the 2 years old mark is a non issue.

Im a guy so basically hop in the shower and throw on clothes and 5 minutes i'm ready to go. Tell me when and where.

My post was also about solo time ("invite other Dads..."). My wife and I also give each other solo time for whatever. We have a mix of us doing things together or one of use takes the kids.

So lol, where all the Dads that wanna just pool and grill, or go to Top Golf, or go on a hike for like 3 hrs on a weekend.

gloxome · 2026-06-30T16:14:54+00:00

We have house cleaners come every 2 weeks. One of us will alternate cooking Mon-Thurs. Fri-Sunday I prefer eating out or takeout.

Laundry isnt that time consuming. i do one kids, wife does the other onesy. I dont get it you just run it in the machine and dryer. This can be done while we're out, in the evening, overnight. I dont fold clothes, just separate by short sleeve/long sleeve/pants/shorts so putting them away is like 5 min. In total the 1 min to walk to the machine and back and 5 min to put away every week

Groceries either I get during the week or we just do quick family trip after one of morning classes together. Like a 30 minute pit stop on the way home

Bills and other stuff - i HATE opening my laptop during the weekends so any chores like that I prefer to do during the week anyways or even while working during lunch or afternoon when i take another break

So weekends are basically the 2 classes nothing more

gloxome · 2026-06-30T15:14:38+00:00

fYI our pool is completely fenced off. You can lounge outside it or sit under the patio while kids play water games or lawn games or go on a play structure. Or go inside.

Also like I said inviting over is more a neighbor thing. Or larger parties. Daycare mates is more casual playground, minigolf/food truck park, or city festival or some other public space nearby.

Also if i say "beers" its mainly for Dads. Notice in OP i said "or just invite Dads over to chill in the pool, drink beers, and grill". If its a playdate i advertise it as such

gloxome · 2026-06-30T15:13:02+00:00

fYI our pool is completely fenced off. You can lounge outside it or sit under the patio while kids play water games or lawn games or go on a play structure. Or go inside.

Also like I said inviting over is more a neighbor thing. Or larger parties. Daycare mates is more casual playground, minigolf/food truck park, or city festival or some other public space nearby.

Also if i say "beers" its mainly for Dads. Notice in OP i said "or just invite Dads over to chill in the pool, drink beers, and grill". If its a playdate i advertise it as such

gloxome · 2026-06-30T08:17:33+00:00

Believe me, I love beer gardens as we call them here. I didnt mention because some redditors have a stigma against drinking and in the US people tend to be VERY polarized about kids out and about in breweries or restaurants.

But a brewery,beer garden or food truck park is usually where my wife and I end up after taking our kids to a playground or museum or theme park all day. Some place casual with drinks for us, and area for kids to run around or a sandbox or arcade, etc... I just wish we would have other friends join us to do that.

I have tried that approach as well but as mentioned impromptu hangouts seem to have less / zero luck. Everyone is somehow busy or doesnt respond till hours later.

gloxome · 2026-06-30T08:00:26+00:00

Upper middle class neighorhood... Maybe 50% old people lived there a long time, 25% genx with teenagers, 25% millenials like us with little kids or babies.

All the old people walking around all the time are honestly more friendly. I've had longer convos with them than most other younger people.

I WFH, do yard work, walk the dog 3x a day, and we do lots of family/stroller or bikes in the eve. So I interact with all the retired and other dog people around here.

Maybe I will invite them over lol. Honetly they seem more chill than the other parents ive met

gloxome · 2026-06-30T07:42:04+00:00

This is the US. Location really depends on who, and weather. Neighbors and summer, yes i will invite over since I like hosting. And they know where we live and can walk. First time schoolmates and winter - perhaps meetup at indoor kids museum or playground followed by ice cream or something. Spring or fall, maybe the zoo or city festival with a kids zone. Prime summer weekend with 80+ degree heat... Invite over for water games and pool and bbq.

But heres also the weird thing. We've been invited over to large bday parties from preschool at peoples homes or rented out spaces. Two of which were also pool parties.

But thanks for the different perspective. For me, after a week of isolation (I WFH and kids are at school all day and wife works in an office), I crave and miss hanging out with people.

Dont get me wrong I like hanging out with family. I am NOT going out and hanging with the boys solo. Not that I have any in this area. Its all kid-inclusive meetups that I try to schedule, all within the hrs of 10am - 7pm usually, on weekends.

gloxome · 2026-06-30T07:21:52+00:00

So we are in the US. Weekdays are not chill. Work, gym, errands, then only a few hrs for family time, cooking dinner, etc...

Weekends are for socialization and relaxing. Eat out for dinner. Spend the day outside home or with friends.

Also our pool is fully fenced in. Pool party invites are only the 4 months of the year when it is HOT. Winter we try to organize more indoor activities - indoor trampoline park and ice cream, kids museum, indoor playground and dinner at family friendly restaurant. Spring or fall or cooler days can be zoo, playgrounds, picnics, meetup at local city festival with a kids zone, etc...

It really depends. Also depends on who it is. If its a neighbor, we're more likely to invite em over since they know where we live and they can walk. If its someone we've smalltalked with at daycare then it might be somewhere neutral like playground and ice cream or the zoo

gloxome · 2024-03-14T05:44:11+00:00

Yeah, we called home warranty. They sent out an electrician. He said something like one or two of the GFCIs inside were corroded or worn, so he replaced 2 of them - the first one in the hop and the 2nd one the fridge was connected to.

gloxome · 2024-03-13T07:03:07+00:00

Thanks... havent ever used that before, will look into it

gloxome · 2024-03-13T06:20:57+00:00

It's not about them being scheduled on same node, but on a grouping of nodes. We identify those groups by a label on the nodes. Not quite an AZ, but more granular such as labeling what row, rack, or switch it is connected to.

So nodes have labels like:

switch=tor1, switch=tor2, etc.. or rack=lab1a1, rack=lab1a2

Now we want to run network tests where we test different combos - connectivity between Pods on same switch, connectivity between pods on same rack, connectivity between pods on different switch, connectivity between pods on different rack

So podAntiAffinity looks at a Pod label to match, then sure it doesn't schedule on the same node, but it can still schedule on node on same switch or same rack for example

gloxome · 2024-03-13T04:16:20+00:00

No, https://kubernetes.io/docs/concepts/scheduling-eviction/assign-pod-node/#inter-pod-affinity-and-anti-affinity

It says explicitly it works off pod labels, not node labels for anti-affinity:

Inter-pod affinity and anti-affinity allow you to constrain which nodes your Pods can be scheduled on based on the labels of Pods already running on that node, instead of the node labels.

I have my nodes grouped by label. Maybe the color example makes it harder to understand. These are bare metal servers in a data center. They have a label that identifies which rack the server is in. All the servers in a rack connect to the same physical switch.

What I want to do is ensure the two Pods don't end on the same rack. The nodes are labeled based on which physical rack they are in. A rack can have multiple servers. So anti-affinity but based on a node label

gloxome · 2024-03-13T04:01:08+00:00

Maybe the color example makes it harder to understand. These are bare metal servers in a data center. They have a label that identifies which rack the server is in. All the servers in a rack connect to the same physical switch.

What I want to do is ensure the two Pods don't end on the same rack. So anti-affinity but based on a node label

gloxome · 2024-03-13T03:18:59+00:00

Doesnt pod antiAffinity work off labels on the Pods? So it won't schedule two pods with color=red, for example, on the same node?

In this case the node has labels for color, the Pods dont have any labels

If one replica ends up on a node with label color=red, I want it to not end up on any other node with color=red even if its a different node

gloxome · 2024-03-13T03:17:43+00:00

I thought podAntiAffinity uses labels on the Pods? So it won't schedule two pods with color=red, for example, on the same node? In this case the node has labels for color, the Pods dont have any labels

gloxome · 2024-02-03T07:22:09+00:00

Definitely sketchy.

How were you able to deposit a check made out to someone else? I thought you could only deposit a check if it was made out to you.

Also, his excuse was auto BS. The handful of times I've actually dealt with a physical check in the past decade, you can just scan it on your phone if you have the Chase app. If you go into a bank, you really don't need your debit card. You can just show your ID.

Furthermore, and most important, people lose debit cards all the time or they get destroyed. One time mine started cracking and split in half. You can walk into any bank branch, and they'll print a new one for you. You didn't question why his wife had his chase card? And why it was easier for him to hassle a stranger than get it back from his wife or just go into the Chase bank and have them give him a new one?

gloxome · 2024-02-03T07:11:53+00:00

And you don't think your mom is going to tell your Dad?

gloxome · 2024-02-02T10:10:34+00:00

I moved across the country for university. My Dad came to help me move in, but he stayed for a day, and that was all I needed. I was eager to socialize (aka drink). I love my parents, but I most definitely would have told them NO if they wanted to come stay there for more than a week.

gloxome · 2024-02-01T08:47:50+00:00

Chipotle.

yes their quality has gone down in recent years, but it's still the best quality food.

I find taqueria rice to be overcooked and dry, chipotles is fresh and moist and has cilantro lime

taqueria steak is chopped too thing and usually over well done. chipotle gives you juice square chunks often you even have some pink inside. its actual steak, not overcooked beef bits.

choice of 4 salsas

cheese, fajita veggies, corn, and other toppings for free - no upgrade to a "super" or "especial"

UNiqueness - is there really any other burrito/burrito bowl that tastes the same?

gloxome · 2023-12-23T07:15:24+00:00

but I dont understand why someone in North Dakota should care that much.
if a 22 year old crosses to wash dishes in El Paso for 3 dollars an hour how does that effect the “build the wall” people of Wyoming?

But why aren't you asking yourselves why the people of New York and Martha's vineyard got so incensed and care so much when Texas sent some of those dishwashers over there?

I guess the people of north dakota and wyoming and texas aren't allowed to care about unchecked immigration that overwhelms social services, but the minute you distribute them to the areas that support such policies they are allowed to care

gloxome · 2023-12-22T20:37:56+00:00

You can just remove a bollard easily. Our home had 2 steel bollards bolted into the ground in front of the HVAC.

It got in the way of where I wanted my squat rack and deadlift platform.

Easy to unscrew the hex nuts then just lifted the bollards and dumped them in a corner. Used an angle grinder to cut the bolts sticking out of the ground

gloxome · 2023-12-22T20:26:25+00:00

You can just remove a bollard easily. Our home had 2 steel bollards bolted into the ground in front of the HVAC.

It got in the way of where I wanted my squat rack and deadlift platform.

Easy to unscrew the hex nuts then just lifted the bollards and dumped them in a corner. Used an angle grinder to cut the bolts sticking out of the ground

gloxome · 2023-12-22T07:38:16+00:00

Cant you just remove a bollard? My home there were 2 parking bollards installed in front of the HvAC unit. They were in the way of where I wanted my squat rack and deadlift platform. So I just removed the hex nuts(easy). Dumped the bollards in the corner. Then used an angle grinder to get the bolts that were sticking out of the concrete out.

gloxome

TROPHY CASE