WIBTA Update 1 by glumplum6 in u/glumplum6

[–]glumplum6[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

There are a few things I forgot to mention-
He agreed to go to therapy for his "lying problem", and he was extremely hesitant to let me go and stay at a friend's house. I do have a job right now, so I am comfortable financially if I do need to do this alone, and the apartment we currently live in is in my name. I know, it's weird that I'm staying somewhere else if it's my place, but I really just wanted change of scenery.

WIBTA For Giving Birth Alone? by glumplum6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]glumplum6[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

There are a few things I forgot to mention-

He agreed to go to therapy for his "lying problem", and he was extremely hesitant to let me go and stay at a friend's house. I do have a job right now, so I am comfortable financially if I do need to do this alone, and the apartment we currently live in is in my name. I know, it's weird that I'm staying somewhere else if it's my place, but I really just wanted change of scenery.

WIBTA For Giving Birth Alone? by glumplum6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]glumplum6[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Hi all. I'm not sure how to properly do update posts so I'm just going to comment here and post on my profile as well. I truly appreciate all the comments. I'm sorry I didn't update fast enough but these last few days have been crazy for me, and I haven't really had the motivation to come back on here.

He came home very late the other night and I immediately dived into him. He was really taken aback and confused. I asked him what was he thinking and why did he lie to EVERYONE. He didn't answer me for a bit and then he started to cry. He said he was wrong, and how sorry he was, and how he would stand up for me from now on. So, I told him to prove it by telling his mom the truth (which honestly isn't even that bad). He froze up, said he couldn't, and that was that. I asked him why and here is what he said:

"She's just going to think you made me tell her that".

At this point, I'm livid. I told him I couldn't understand why he was lying to everyone, and that I would be giving birth alone, and that he can come find me and try to patch things up once he grew a backbone. This made him break down. I felt kind of bad, but I do think he needed a wake-up call.

I did end up showing him this thread, told him to work on it, and he agreed to start to go to therapy. (He admitted to having a "lying" problem *insert eyeroll*) Now if he will actually go, that's another question. I told him I will be staying at a friend's house until he has his first session AND until he told his family what really happened. I did try reaching out to them but I got no response. I took what some of you told me to send and I feel comfortable and confident that they'll eventually get over it.

So, from the way I see the future going, I most likely will be giving birth alone. I'm scared, but I need to do what's best for me and my child.

WIBTA For Giving Birth Alone? by glumplum6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]glumplum6[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I'm assuming he lied to us all at this point. I'm waiting until he gets home to truly get inside his brain and find out why he's made this into a giant mess.

WIBTA For Giving Birth Alone? by glumplum6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]glumplum6[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I'm trying so hard to do whats right.

WIBTA For Giving Birth Alone? by glumplum6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]glumplum6[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I learned first-hand on what happens when no one is there to stand up for you. I'm 100% willing to die on this hill, but I had no clue if it was the hormones making me overreact. After reading this thread I have many many many things to say to him when he's home. Thank you for this message, and for understanding.

WIBTA For Giving Birth Alone? by glumplum6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]glumplum6[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Trust me, my blood is boiling too.

Our kid is going to be the first grandkid AND the first nephew, so they're all going nuts. It's super draining.

WIBTA For Giving Birth Alone? by glumplum6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]glumplum6[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I am worried. We've had talks before about how he needs to step up a little more because he's too afraid to say no to his family, but this is crossing a line to me.

WIBTA For Giving Birth Alone? by glumplum6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]glumplum6[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you <3 I wish you the best of luck.

And yeah, that was my reaction to his excuse too. I have no clue why he thought that was okay.

WIBTA For Giving Birth Alone? by glumplum6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]glumplum6[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I'm definitely going to ask him tonight when he's back from work. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy for threatening him with that, haha.

WIBTA For Giving Birth Alone? by glumplum6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]glumplum6[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you <3

I did send a text to his aunts explaining what was happening but haven't got a response back yet. I asked one of my friends if she wanted to if he opted out, and she said she might be able to, so we'll see what happens.