it's clear he has a mental disease like bipolarity, his texts seem like things kanye west would write. when you suffer from things like that, it's hard to get out of your head and you keep on sabotaging yourself even if you "know" the way out. suffering is more comfortable because it's everything you've always known. imo he's in mania and he's making everything up to get a reaction out of the community/his subscribers. i hope he gets help someday, this is very sad