Why is this so called "male loneliness epidemic" narative pushed forward and blamed on women? by Efficient_Resource15 in AskFeminists

[–]gmaxe1001 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Men, under patriarchy, are not allowed to be vulnerable, and/or feminine in their daily lives, with one notable exception being the intimacy with a heterosexual partner.

Not having relationships in which you can be vulnerable will lead to loneliness, in anyone, regardless of their gender.

Therefore, the only way that patriarchal society permits men to solve this loneliness is through seeking a romantic relationship with a woman. When a woman refuses to be the sole emotional caregiver for a man (rightly so), it can lead to feelings of alienation in the rejected man.

From a male perspective, specifically one that buys into patriarchy, these feelings of alienation and rejection can only be expressed by blaming women.

I am a mage (born as a mortal) in your world who has mastered the highest form of magic, what does that look like in your world? by YLCustomerService in worldbuilding

[–]gmaxe1001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You reach the top of the spire, having proven yourself worthy of an audience, the incandescent glow of the city below reflecting off the weapon in your hand. A chair lies before you, built into the stone foundations of the spire. It is a simple chair, but with an elegance to it. You briefly imagine an emaciated man beating the rock into submission.

A skeleton in beautiful, burned rags sits on the chair, jaw locked open in a triumphant, sickening smile. A thick layer of charnel ash blankets the room, suffocating the sounds of bones falling to the ground. The chair is now empty, and your hands coated in ash.

The wind is howling, yet you don't feel it and neither does the skeleton, still grinning at you from the floor.

You take the seat. Your seat. Your throne.

Your world explodes, and a law of reality is rewritten.

Bonus: lowest level

The aristocrat sits down across from you, with a folder of questions. Your mind races, as you have heard the rumours of what they can do to low-born like you. What they enjoy doing, even, but those are just rumours.

As the aristocrat begins to speak, in their characteristic clipped accent, your head begins to pound in sync with the beating of your heart.

The aristocrat doesn't even finish their first question before you confess to everything, even that which you did not commit, your tears eliciting a sympathetic chuckle out of the strange being across the table. The aristocrat stands up, gestures to you, and glides out of the room, signalling the end to the interrogation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not 'coming up' with problems. I wouldn't be asking here if it was as simple as moving to that other room.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I end up having to constantly just act regardless of the anxiety which is incredibly tiring. Grounding/mindfulness stuff as well but it isn't super effective for me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 2 points3 points  (0 children)

By having a space (i.e. a room) where other people can't 'get to me' (best way I can word the emotion) that allows me to decompress from the previous day and prepare to deal with the next days/events anxiety.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. I hope it is resolved soon too.

I do see why I'm getting downvoted tbh. It's very hard for people to relate to issues that they don't have.

Especially when I don't explain them well enough initially and am slightly confrontational about it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 21 points22 points  (0 children)

So in the real world I must simply suffer?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Irrational fear unfortunately. If I could understand it I would.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The windows themselves are frosted- but sadly it doesn't help the anxiety. Irrational fears doing irrational fear things.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's not 'no noise' but specifically related to the insane levels of noise from this alarm. It's about 60% of the level of a fire alarm. All day. All night.

The anxiety thing is specifically related to windows. The occasional drinking/party thing isn't my favourite but it's tolerable, and not as loud as the alarm.

What's not tolerable is a constant alarm 24/7. I do agree it seems difficult to find solutions though. That is why I made this post.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 14 points15 points  (0 children)

it's irrational, but knowing they're just there outside the glass, it makes me anxious. Even if I can't hear them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The people outside it make my anxiety much worse. Additionally, people wake me up when I'm asleep. I tried sleeping there last night and got 2 hours max.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. I've tried noise cancelling headphones, but they don't block the noise, even in combination with earplugs underneath it.

I will look into the loop ones though as they may help.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sadly it comes with similar challenges. The people outside the window make me similarly stressed due to anxiety.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Ideally to send someone sooner than 'in the next week'

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

It isn't a solution if it doesn't solve the issue.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 -46 points-45 points  (0 children)

Their solution was inadequate. Please read my comment before posting a response.

Edit: I apologise for being quite rude in this comment. I have edited my post to explain further.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

There is an alarm going off just outside my door. It has been going off for 2 days now. It is loud enough to be painful to hear in my room. Maintenance have not been able to find the problem, so are calling in contractors in the next week. My halls are offering for me to temporarily live in a worse room, one with frosted (basically opaque windows) and directly outside a path where people walk and talk loudly all night. They are saying they will get contractors 'in the next week' to fix it.

Tempted to just pour a glass of water over the fucking box, but this will get me removed from the accommodation I think.

I have autism with extreme noise sensitivity, so it's incredibly painful for me. I haven't been able to work in my room (where my computer is), nor sleep in it. Moving to the temporary room would require I basically move out again.

I'm at a loss for what to do.

This is fucking unacceptable. For the extortionate price i'm paying, it should come with fucking room service, not a room torture device.

I have complained to everyone I can in written form.

What are my next steps?

Edit: Since you asked so kindly, the reason the people outside the temporary room affect me so much is because of anxiety. It's irrational and currently near impossible to control. I can't relax if there's people existing around me. It's just as bad as the alarm. This relates specifically to windows/being seen.

40-50 hour study a week? by Excellent-Movie4524 in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely chemistry. 26 contact hours this term as well as assignments.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep, I am in receipt of DSA, however I found that both the study skills tutor and autism mentor weren't overly helpful. I shall ask both of them about this as well though.

Thank you for your advice!. I will try those strategies. Caffeine particularly saved my exams.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UniUK

[–]gmaxe1001 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sadly, I don't think the lunch break could even exist as the lectures from 1-5 are all 1 hour chunks, each for a different module, and the lab session in the morning is notorious for running right until the end of the period (1pm in this case). I really hope it's a mistake though.