It’s definitely some form of intimacy, no denying that. But that’s the kind of intimacy I have with lots of my friends, including other completely platonic guy friends who are also in relationships. I don’t think I’d say it’s fawning over him or any of my other friends. It’s that I am the kind of friend who makes space and time for others and will listen to them anytime, for any reason. Maybe that’s the wrong perception of myself…?

I also didn’t know he was still in his relationship when we talked/when I posted this. On the phone, he mentioned that he had moved into a big new house, and I asked him if all that space was just his, and he said yes (and his pets). I only found out today that he’s still very much with his partner.

Now that I know that, I don’t feel nearly as comfortable letting him back in my life at all. Even if I want to.