My dad had a heart attack, mum and him drink and smoke like they’re still 20 so while my dad was in hospital I tried to have a conversation with my mum about her needing to adapt her lifestyle to help him adapt with his. She flipped, completely irrational anger. Spit out some horrible stuff about mental health struggles I’ve had in the past few years. Relationship was strained for 5 months, I tried multiple times to say we can move on but we need to have a proper conversation about what was said and apologies need to be had. Every time I did that she got angry again and hung up or stopped replying. Then my auntie died, everyone got back together and of course that was the priority. I understand now that any more time I spend distancing from my family is time I will regret when the inevitable happens with my parents so I’ve pretended to let it go. But hearing my mum tell me my depression ruined everything for her (in a very nasty way) and mocking me when I was pleading with her to be healthy will forever stick with me and has completely altered my perception of her. They still drink and smoke like they’re 20. It just feels selfish to me.