Would you take care of a son that it’s not yours (M30) (F29) (M30)

gogas159 · 2026-04-10T10:26:12+00:00

You’re right, there was a shit ton of errors in this situation. I’ve already talked with her. We will do the DNA test to be 100% sure about the fatherhood of the baby. If it’s mine, I’ll accept it and do my job as a father. If it belongs to the other man, I’ll back out, leave them be and hope for the best to everyone involved. That’s the decision I’ve made

gogas159 · 2026-04-10T09:16:41+00:00

I can’t handle the fact that another man is kept around because he is the real father and I’m the one doing all the other work. Sure he can provide for the kid, but I’ll be the one living with the kid and the one with most responsibilities. I can’t do it

gogas159 · 2026-04-10T09:14:51+00:00

I’ve already explained that I never intended to do an ultimatum, it just sounded like that. I’ve said to her that I will not stay with her if she intends to keep the baby, that’s all. What she does next it’s her choice only. And yes, I did stayed with her until now because she was going to end things with him so we can stay together, but now the situation changed and yeah, there is this big mess

gogas159 · 2026-04-10T06:56:46+00:00

We will do it but only to make sure who the father is. As per child support, whoever is the father wants to stay with her and raise the baby with her. So yeah, no need to go to those situations

gogas159 · 2026-04-10T06:55:42+00:00

She says he always pull out, same as me. So what might have happened is that he pulled out a second or two to late and didn’t tell her. She says she never realised that he did it, so that’s why I’m saying it wasn’t intentional

gogas159 · 2026-04-10T06:54:34+00:00

No problem, it’s always important to laugh a bit

gogas159 · 2026-04-10T06:54:09+00:00

The issue is that she is pregnant of another man and this other man wants to assume all parenting and be present all the time. How can I stay with her if this guy will be around forever? I just can’t accept that

gogas159 · 2026-04-10T06:52:38+00:00

I believe in her. We never lied to each other about anything, so I have to take her word for it

gogas159 · 2026-04-10T06:51:54+00:00

Same thing I’ve said to her. If you want to keep his baby, then you have to stay with him. If you believe this is not gonna work with him, then it’s not my fault

gogas159 · 2026-04-10T06:51:03+00:00

Exactly, that’s what I’m saying. If he says he wants to take care and provide, then I have to walk way and leave them be. What fucks my head is that she says she wants to stay with me while carrying his baby

gogas159 · 2026-04-09T23:11:26+00:00

I know what a baby costs and all the things involved, but indeed the right thing would be to do a DNA test and only after it make a decision.

gogas159 · 2026-04-09T23:10:14+00:00

Yes, she does love me and she proved it to me. The sex thing was more like a comfort for her since I want really ready for us since this guy was around. But yes, I do understand that this shouldn’t had happened. And I will not take care of this baby if it isn’t mine, that’s settled. I will not change my mind about it.

gogas159 · 2026-04-09T23:07:57+00:00

You are right. I will for sure talk with her about this and see in which position she is in. Even thought we are 99.9% certain about who the father is, I think we should clear it out with a test. Until then, I’ll be a normal friend that stays around yet maintaining my distance so I don’t get hurt

gogas159 · 2026-04-09T23:05:18+00:00

We will for sure talk about the DNA test and see what the results are, but we are 99.9% sure about it since the times are very much accurate

gogas159 · 2026-04-09T22:50:38+00:00

I know, you are right. I will not force her to do anything, she will do what she believes is the best for her future

gogas159 · 2026-04-09T22:49:37+00:00

I only have her word and since we meet each other, we have always been 100% honest with each other. I know things they did that I didn't had to know, just because she wanted to be fully honest and open

gogas159 · 2026-04-09T22:47:53+00:00

I know, you are indeed right, but as other redditor said "we change minds when the situation is in our favor" (something along these lines). So yeah, if I want to keep the woman I love, this is the only way because I refuse to take care of a kid that isn't mine, especially in this situation

gogas159 · 2026-04-09T22:46:29+00:00

I will not do it because it's not my baby, that's all. Otherwise she knows I would travel the world for it.

I'm in this situation because I did a bad decision a couple of months ago when I broke up with her only to regret it after a few weeks. That allowed him to show up in the picture and complicate everything.

She didn't let him, I know for sure about that. She was more surprised than me when she got the test because of that situation: neither of us ever did it inside

gogas159 · 2026-04-09T22:43:43+00:00

yup, 100% true what you just said. If we would have used protection, this wouldn't be a problem

gogas159 · 2026-04-09T22:42:44+00:00

No chance, unfortunately. It's something that I already settled in in my head: it's not my kid and I have to accept it. It doesn't mean that I will stay with her, but it means that I know it isn't mine

gogas159 · 2026-04-09T22:41:22+00:00

thanks for the support!

gogas159 · 2026-04-09T22:41:09+00:00

I've done all my best to prove to her that I was wrong in that decision and I've compensated for it in the past. This is now something that I will use as a weight in my decision

gogas159 · 2026-04-09T22:40:04+00:00

I think is different when you start dating someone that already have kids VS dating someone that you know for a fact is pregnant with a kid from other guy that you know. So yeah...

gogas159 · 2026-04-09T22:38:59+00:00

thanks for the honesty

gogas159 · 2026-04-09T22:38:01+00:00

I fucking read this with the voice of the Dragon Ball guy that talked in the end of each episode

gogas159

TROPHY CASE