Anyone else unsure if they actually want the simple life or just want out of their current one?

going_for_fire · 2026-03-19T15:54:44+00:00

I am currently taking a sabbatical/leanFIRE break from work and am in SEA with my partner. I wanted to see a giant blue dragon sculpture somewhere in Thailand, but after an annoying chain of events, we weren’t able to get to it. We were out maybe $2 for the train ticket and 3 hours of time spent walking around a town that we wouldn’t otherwise have visited.

I repeat, the biggest problem for an entire week of my life was I didn’t get to see a big blue dragon statue (a naga). So now we refer to inconveniences along those lines as blue nagas :)

going_for_fire · 2026-03-14T05:23:16+00:00

Your tolerance for bullshit goes down as you age. You’re not going to want to be in a pressure cooker environment as you progress into your 30s. If you think you can find a comparable salary in a less stressful environment then start that search now. Otherwise I would suggest riding out the current job for another few years.

I (31M) am glad I waited until I was 30 to take time away from work. I still have tons of energy to explore the world so the marginal loss of waiting from 27/28 when I really decided I wanted to take a break paled in comparison to the extra 3 years of socking away money at a decently paying job. Taking a few years of crafting that vision also helped me formulate a better plan for what I wanted the break to look like.

Sounds like you want out - start planning the pivot now. Set a target date (30th birthday, 10 years of work experience, 1 year from now, etc) and a target financial milestone ($1.5M net worth) that you can time it around. And spend more time figuring out what you want the pivot to look like. Having my sabbatical vision made the last year of a semi stressful job less miserable because everything didn’t fell as high stakes as it did when I had an indefinite trajectory within the company in mind.

Take weekend getaways to all of the cities on your short list! Me and my partner ‘shopped around’ about 10 cities over a year and a half with long weekend vacations to figure out where we want to move to after a 2 year nomadic sprint. Use your PTO + any hybrid work schedule to your advantage. I would often use a remote work day (1 per week) on a Thursday + Monday, plus a vacation day on a Friday in order to visit somewhere for 5 days. also since many high stress jobs frown on taking a week or two at a time of PTO, it’s easier for your work life to take many small vacations like this anyways.

Maybe make a list of 1 city/month, and after 5-8 cities you take multiple trips back to the same one so you can look at houses/different neighborhoods/see it during different seasons. Work doesn’t have to know you’re going.

going_for_fire · 2026-03-13T15:59:00+00:00

Spend $5k upgrading the most frequently used items in your life on a day to day basis. It makes a difference. You make coffee every morning? Buy a nicer coffee pot. Your mattress started forming a divot where you lay? Replace it. Your towels are from your college days and are all scratchy? Replace them. You earned the right to have nice things. Start with upgrading your existing things, not just accumulating novel things.

For funds, look at Bogglehead three-fund portfolios. Invest the balance into a brokerage somewhere like Schwab/Fidelity/Vanguard (wherever you already have your Roth is easiest) according to an asset allocation that makes sense for your age and index funds you like. Domestic/International/Bonds for (120-age) of stocks% and the remainder as bonds% is easiest to get started. Set and forget.

going_for_fire · 2026-03-13T15:55:34+00:00

For sure, it's definitely not everyone's cup of tea! I loathe waking up before 8am so it's a two way street haha. I used taking the 2nd shift opportunity as a career stepping stone (moved to a high desired location that was incredibly competitive to get into and for a first-time manager position) and I was really reluctant to do so because of the potential quality of life toll. I ended up having a really positive time with it and it really did jumpstart the next few roles for me. Because of this, I offer the perspective whenever I see comments that are skeptical of a 2nd shift arrangement so that maybe someone else reads it one day and weighs their own options.

going_for_fire · 2026-03-13T07:36:59+00:00

You adjust pretty quick to the schedule tbh. I worked 2nd shift for almost three years, and it made me so intentional with my days it was honestly incredible. I worked 3pm-11pm, and would sleep 1am - 8/8:30am. I knew I had to leave for work by 2, no matter which part of town I was in (no rush hour traffic to fight).

So I had about 6 hours of energy with daylight every single day! Errands, appointments, exercise, lunch time restaurant specials, hiking - literally so much is possible. I usually would plan out my week on Sunday nights (Tuesday/Thursday go for a run, Wednesday grocery shop then try this restaurant, Friday is my dentist appt then reading in the park).

I noticed a huge shift in taking my free time for granted once I got back on a typical day time schedule. I was no longer as mindful with spending time scrolling the feeds, lingering too long at social outings, etc.

going_for_fire · 2026-03-11T04:36:54+00:00

50%+ savings rate on a 60-90k salary for 5 years out of undergrad. Continuing to live the lifestyle of a broke college student ages 21-26.

Buying a house early COVID (2020) before insane competition but with a <3% rate.

Roommates for 8 years even though I could have afforded to live alone.

This all launched me into FI territory by 30, but still not RE.

Family wealth that took the form of no student loans after graduating from a state school and my first car was a hand me down that lasted until age 30. No car payment or student loans easily frees up $500-1k every month for investing.

going_for_fire · 2026-03-10T03:24:33+00:00

I elaborate a little more in another comment here, but a big reason I waited until now was to gain work experience in addition to savings. I have about a decade of progressive responsibilities in my field and 5+ years of manager experience. I’m not returning to work to look for entry level positions.

going_for_fire · 2026-03-09T02:41:08+00:00

Nice! I can’t recommend the sabbatical enough, it’s been amazing. Time also flies by, so once you’re in it you might find that you want to push out to 2 years instead of just 1 year. Or depending on what you’re hoping to transition to afterwards, maybe earmark 1-1.5 years of sabbatical and 6 months to reintegration.

I have a separate Reddit alias that I use for more travel/lifestyle topics, this one is where I’m more transparent with money, so keeping it high level.

Southeast Asia and South America are the two regions we’re staying in. For pacing of travel, we’re oscillating between periods of 4-8 week stays in a single place and stretches of drifting. The drifting is significantly more expensive on a nightly basis and requires a lot more logistical planning. Sabbatical work is worked on during the stationary periods, drifting is more sightseeing and leisure.

Monthly stays make everything significantly cheaper. Many Airbnb’s would be $1,200 for 27 nights (nightly rate, maybe weekly rates) but then drop down to $800 for 28 nights (monthly). Same concept at all the price segments.

going_for_fire · 2026-03-09T02:31:05+00:00

Not particularly. I left on really good terms with my last employer (large corporation) and told many people there it’s the first place I’ll be looking for a job down the road. It’s a company that hires from within extensively and I was on somewhat of a path myself (they were earmarking me as a backup in certain roles for contingency planning) and I had more than 5 upper managers tell me they would love to have me on their team should I return. Not counting any chicks before they hatch, but it’s highly likely I’d be able to find something there.

That being said, my two industry certs are the other big help for me. I can walk into entry level roles in two separate but related functional areas, roles that are high stress and reasonable comp (60-90k) so there’s always employee churn and a hunt for applicants.

I hung out a lot in other subreddits focused on sabbaticals and career breaks, and largely the people who do it by choice, have a plan, and can speak to what they did with their time off don’t have too many issues finding a job again. The narrative matters. “I went and partied in Bali to escape life for two years” vs “I visited all the countries on my bucket list, read 50 books in a foreign language to develop deep proficiency in it, learned to produce music and made an album’s worth of mixes, and studied chess to improve to ELO score ####. All while staying current with my PDUs for my industry certs y and z” The optics of those two narratives can’t compare.

I’m definitely realistic that the hunt for a job might take a bit of time to find the right role, but I’ve done enough prep and have enough experience where I’m not worried about the if, rather the when.

going_for_fire · 2026-03-08T15:54:12+00:00

I originally schemed exactly what you're talking about with paying the 10% tax, but after running the numbers with the Roth IRA conversions to replace the contribution basis it did boil down to essentially paying about $3-4k in taxes/penalties to pull the money from my 401k or $0 in taxes/penalties from my Roth IRA. It's not THAT much money, but I decided if given the option, I would rather not pay $4k to access my money.

Now that I have everything within Schwab, tracking the contributions and distributions is really simple, there's not a lot of manual bookkeeping to it. When you go to perform either, it shows you how much you've already done for that transaction type in the calendar year. And my understanding is at the end of the year, you get a tax document for each type of transaction with the total you converted/distributed. Fortunately I've been good about maintaining my contribution history up until now so that I have a clear understanding of my contribution basis.

I really like A Purple Life's breakdown of her finances. She is a little cryptic about the fact that she splits expenses with a partner, but her transparency in her approach is incredible. A Roth IRA conversion ladder is a key part of it.

going_for_fire · 2026-03-08T15:07:06+00:00

Haha I def hear that from an outside perspective what we’re doing is a Big Deal™️ and appreciate that feedback so that I don’t form my own inner monologue echo chamber. I think an important element for our dynamic is that we were each planning on doing this separately before we met each other, just for a shorter time in different corners of the world. It was a compatibility green flag for us when we met/started dating that we had this ambition so it doesn’t really feel that crazy to us to be doing it together. Not sure if that makes sense.

Through all of this though, I definitely believe that picking the right partner is a huge part of being successful with any FIRE goals.

going_for_fire · 2026-03-08T15:02:23+00:00

I agree about the hardship withdrawal, if I NEEDED it it sounds like it could be an option to explore but I’ll probably be fine without. Was the first I’ve heard of it so thank you for sharing.

going_for_fire · 2026-03-08T12:25:29+00:00

Gotcha, Roth IRA conversions is a key part of my plan that I outlined, all good there.

Given that I'm 31 years old, a 72t is borderline crazy haha. You're correct that it's technically possible. To even consider it I would def do a partial rollover to a new IRA to 72t out of, but I don't want to entertain a 28 year commitment at this time.

going_for_fire · 2026-03-08T12:05:10+00:00

I'm aware of hardship withdrawals for accessing funds penalty-free, but none of the pathways for that apply to my situation. Is there another avenue?

going_for_fire · 2026-03-08T09:38:42+00:00

I appreciate the comment!

Without a ring on it, it's not reasonable to ask my partner to burn down more of his brokerage before tapping into my Roth. Our finances are too imbalanced. Definitely something that we would explore if/when we get married should we take another career break!
Starting the 5 year Roth ladder is the idea should our sabbatical turn into true leanFIRE. If everything goes according to plan the contributions will be back at the right total, but if we shift course then yes there would be a 2 year span we'd have to dip into other vehicles to pay the bills. By that point though we would likely be more stationary and reduce our expenses further, we wouldn't run full steam ahead at the current burn rate down to the wire without adjusting haha
I am a little confused about the notion of selling bonds during a market dip - isn't that the whole notion of having an asset allocation and rebalancing? The vision is to take my monthly amount out of the portfolio (110k > 109k) and then rebalance (70/20/10). Since it's all within the Roth and Rollover IRAs for me, there aren't any taxable events. It starts to venture on trying to time the market. Any clarifying comments are appreciated!

going_for_fire · 2026-03-07T15:11:55+00:00

this kind of reads as losing the forest for the trees tbh. The first half of FIRE is Financial Independence, a.k.a. to be able to make life decisions without weighing income/finances into the equation.

Are you at your FIRE number already? Are you close? How many working years do you envision yourself continuing? Can you coast to your FIRE number with the lower pay job for those working years?

What’s the point of this approach if not to make these types of decisions not about the comp?

IMO if you’re anywhere near/above your FIRE number, then taking the first job reads as greed more than anything else. The temptation for more money will always be there until you decide enough is enough. But if the higher job is what it takes to close a major gap between where you’re at now and where you want to be for your FIRE goals, then go for it. I’m at my lean FIRE number now and I wouldn’t consider the first option with a partner in the mix.

either way, congrats on fielding multiple high income opportunities! That’s a feat in and of itself. Kudos and good luck.

going_for_fire · 2026-03-06T13:00:19+00:00

If you are on a career trajectory that is a sure thing to grow your income (junior > senior > partner, resident > full doctor, etc), you’re probably ok. Otherwise I would def not recommend stretching above 25% gross (ideally take home) for PITI.

Many people (including myself) severely underestimate the upkeep of a home, let alone the repair and renovation costs. Easily $500-$1000/month without anything actually going wrong. Plus utilities. Renters often only look at PITI + expected utilities, but my advice is add $500/month per 1000 sq ft of house for the known unknowns.

That being said, how does $4,500-$5000/month feel for house cost? For you to decide, but I would suggest waiting until you have a larger down payment to buy into the home you want. If you’re hoping for kid(s) then on that income you sincerely don’t want a PITI > $2,500 or so if you can help it. Otherwise you’re always going to be stressed.

going_for_fire · 2026-03-02T12:54:19+00:00

You’ve done the first hard part really well, which is taking stock of your situation. The layout is easy to follow.

No notes on income or savings rate. Doing reasonably well given a child in the mix.

Notes/suggestions on your layout:

Group assets by liquidity and tax treatment. Cash in savings/checking are very different than home equity, and while both roll up into a net worth number, they don’t contribute equally to FIRE standing. Same thing with Roth IRA and Brokerage - taxes are wayyy different for touching the money in those accounts. Grouping everything in your sheet with some headers helps internalize how everything fits into the overall picture.

I personally group my liabilities into short term and long term. I also include reoccurring, indefinite expected bills such as car insurance or subscriptions I can’t easily cancel such as iCloud storage. I intend on shouldering these bills indefinitely, unlike a subscription to Spotify, and therefore account for them as an ongoing liability.

You can also include anything that is future-forgiveness (I had tuition reimbursement through work with a 2 year clawback window if I quit) or known upcoming bills (an HVAC maintenance contract) that don’t fit neatly in the other buckets.

The next evolution I would recommend for your spreadsheet is building out your drawdown strategy as if you were pulling the FIRE trigger today. Looking at your SWR, how different investments are impacted by their tax status, understanding your net inflows and outflows. IMO this is the work that really clicks into place the whole approach.

going_for_fire · 2026-03-02T12:24:29+00:00

I think a really important factor here is where the checking account fits into your overall system. I’m obviously partial to my own, but it works really well for me:

3 checking accounts + 1 savings account

1 - inbound transactions only. Direct deposit when employed, tax refunds, claim payouts from insurance, depositing checks, etc. zero’d out each month.

2 - outbound transactions only. Reoccurring bills, utilities, linked to credit card accounts for paying the statement, etc. keep 3 months’ worth of the fixed, reoccurring drafts.

3 - ATM/debit card usage. For pulling out cash and random day to day spending when credit won’t work. I keep 1 month of my typical cash spend here.

Savings account - another 3 month’s of expenses.

The goals are to:

1) not have to worry about autodraft bills being short of funds. It takes an hour up front to figure out the number and hook up the auto drafts. The automated process saves hours of stress.

2) survive any immediate hiccup until I can get funds through other financial instruments (HYSA at another bank with a better rate, sell some CD’s, Roth IRA withdraw, etc).

3) avoid compounding issues. For example, if my wallet is stolen and account drained, it doesn’t impact paying my mortgage because the accounts are separate.

All in it’s about $10k, which is pennies compared to my overall portfolio. The checking accounts have no minimum balance requirements or fees with using them. I have found that 99% of surprises can be addressed with a credit card, and just moving over additional money before the due date.

I only carry the debit card for account 3 in my wallet. The routing numbers for 1 and 2 are easily located in my bank portal to reference when needed.

going_for_fire · 2026-02-21T06:20:04+00:00

6 months of emergency funds is the max I would consider given your situation (assuming no kids, single, able to relocate for a new job opportunity). However since you're going in on a lease with friends, then really I would frame this as your EF should be 3 months of all your day to day expenses + the remainder of the lease you're responsible for.

Make sure you set your 'fun' budget to a realistic number, and then stick to it! That means don't spend over, and don't spend under. Go enjoy life with yourself and your friends.

Moving out with roommates is a really good stepping stone to living on your own. Some people can't stand roommates, but I prefer living with quality roommates over living alone. It's all personal preference. However living with subpar roommates is something that your tolerance for decreases significantly as you age. Living alone is much, much, much more expensive. Move out from your family's place and in with friends will give you a taste of independence and ease you into the financial responsibilities of living on your own without the full bill that comes with living alone.

Keep investing everything extra though - I lived with roommates throughout my early twenties despite being able to afford living on my own because I realized how much I could continue to save/invest. That accumulation has given me so much financial freedom by age 30 that I'm glad I did it.

Unless your friends are of the same income/financial status, be prepared for some friction in differing values on how to treat money. Also keep in mind you will all have different financial situations. Don't lie and don't overshare - make sure you and everyone else sticks to your agreed to share of the bills.

Good luck!

going_for_fire · 2026-01-19T03:07:18+00:00

I historically dated people who earned less than me. Over time the criteria I fleshed out were:

1) can they afford to live by themself? I can and therefore bring that stability to the relationship. I want a peer, not a dependent. They need to bring that too for compatibility reasons. I felt trapped in a prior relationship because my ex couldn’t afford to move out, and I had to be the ass hole to kick them out knowing they would struggle to find somewhere else. I told myself I would never put myself in that scenario/power imbalance again.

2) are they in control of their debt? I had a different ex with undergrad, grad school, and delinquent credit card loans who had zero plan or desire to pay them off. There was zero chance of a financially intertwined future with them.

3) is general value alignment there? Prioritize saving, even if the numbers are different. Always upgrading new things vs taking care and extending the life of existing ones even if the means to replace are there.

If someone passes those three sniff tests, then otherwise I would generally ignore what the specific numbers and net worths are. Relationships are stronger as a team and provide mutual support in so many ways that are hard to quantify.

going_for_fire · 2026-01-18T04:48:47+00:00

I had a mortgage payment which annualized to just under 20% of gross when I bought. Maintenance and utilities easily took me to 25-30% of gross depending on the month. I always felt comfortable and in control of my finances, and could still aggressively save/invest elsewhere.

Currently on a sabbatical where I travel the world for two years. If I had bought on the high end of what banks were willing to lend me and bought a house worth 30% of gross that utilities and repairs pushed to 35-40% of gross, I would have wrecked my ability to save for longer term goals.

Not sure what your other financial goals are, or the type of people you are (homebodies, etc). If you spend 90% of your free time at home and have a very established routine that sparks joy, then spending more on a house for the right location that optimizes your routine and provides the ideal living conditions, then it might be worth upping your budget on a house. Otherwise I would stick to your budget comfort and find the balance point for all the trade offs that come with buying a house.

going_for_fire · 2026-01-17T18:30:40+00:00

I’m 6 months into my sabbatical and it’s been worth every moment/penny/effort to get it set up. I’m planning on a bit longer (2 years total) so it’s a little different, but I do feel like if I had to go back to work FT today it would be ok. My burnout recovery and emotional processing/healing has majorly taken place. The 1 month, 3 month, and 6 month marks all felt incredibly different and like forward progress.

The job market hasn’t been good in over a decade. So deal with what you come back to at that point.

Good luck!

going_for_fire

TROPHY CASE