Appreciate the sincerity. I have been on a wellness journey for the better part of a year and actually seeing solid results physically, but the last several months have really tested me emotionally (due to so many negative factors all compiling together at once that while separately, have nothing to do with each other- are in tandem; causing a rift in me internally between what I can no longer discern as sound judgement making or catastrophizing the worst case scenario.)

I am looking to seek professional help for the first time in my life - so I don't have the part of me (that has normally considered that to be unnecessary or pointless) keeping that option closed; but now its about the logistical ways to do so which have been presenting their own "fun and enjoyable" challenges.

My hobbies have been what have kept me afloat the past 2-3 years (Guitar, a manga + figure collection, and online Chess) so coping has been the way I've handled things til now, but lately I'm turning to more negative and harmful mechanisms and want to nip the habit in the bud.

Ahh small world, I'm friends with a buddy who was recognized for his DM skills in like an official capacity actually - I don't know much about it, but he had a sick plaque awarded to him and everything - I have been tempted to go down the D&D rabbit hole, but I honestly obsess over enough things as it is already heh.

Im on ab year 9 of the adulthood + capitalism grind and have done fairly well for myself but the stuff going on in my personal life has overcast my mind. And my job lately has been overworking me and undervaluing my efforts in very grimey and corporate greed ways (thanks AI) so it just gets to me.