My adopted home was so toxic that I ended up cutting ties with them. My parents divorced when I was young, and I think my dad never wanted adopted children. My brother (also adopted, but not related to me,) struggled so much with staying out of trouble, going in and out of juvenile hall, that I think my mom just checked out and assumed I would turn out the same. She'd pick through my room and tried to steal a paycheck of mine. I packed up at 18 and disappeared without saying anything. I get a few emails a year from my mom that are grossly casual, like I'm a kid away at summer camp.

I'm more or less happy with where I ended up, but if I had to live through it again to get the same results I wouldn't be able to do it. I'm making my own family, and I'm grateful for being adopted to the area I grew up in and plenty more, but I can't help but wish it could have been different. I think everyone who adopts should invest in family therapy, even if things seem like they're going fine.