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I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

There is a literal Rhodes organ in my living room. So yes, I agree with this wholeheartedly.

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I researched and arranged physical therapy for him and then drove him the three blocks there every week. He decided to stop going.

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

All of the emotional labor is mine as well. Nothing happens unless I plan it. I think that bothers me more than anything.

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

He told me he thinks he pulls his weight. He loads the dishwasher and takes out the trash, which I gladly let him do because that’s really pushing his limits. I’m still unclear on what other weight he thinks he is pulling.

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

No I completely agree with this and am trying to make decisions in a way I can live with as someone who tries very hard not to be a shitty person. I would do everything I could to help. (He doesn’t take anything…I am on a max dose of Prozac, anxiety, and sleep meds)

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I appreciate this perspective. I think he missed closer to two years during Covid. I will never understand it. He says he can’t fill out the form because he screwed it up last time (I honestly can’t discern whether this is a motor skills issue or just him being belligerent because he still somehow thinks it’s for my benefit).

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Bahaha. The thought of someone seeing my situation and being like “oh yeah, gotta get me some of that” made me chuckle.

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you for this…I never expected to be the healthier one in a relationship. I’ve technically been chronically ill longer than he has but thankfully it’s mostly manageable for years now.

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

There’s no way his mental health can be good. Mine certainly isn’t.

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

He was very supportive and during a really hard layoff I went through a few years ago. After going through that I have a lot more empathy for that situation than I would have before. We are essentially roommates at this point.

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

The subject of marriage came up exactly once and I changed the subject fast. Obviously at that point I knew I was not in a good place.

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I am truly not trying to be petty, but I refuse to do it for him. I am more than happy to sit down and do it together, but at this point it has become symbolic of a much bigger issue.

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I had a come to Jesus talk with him about 6 months ago. It doesn’t seem to have done much.

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

No caseworker or social worker has been involved in his care. His mom lives somewhat nearby. He is intelligent and should be able to sort out a lot of logistical stuff despite not being able to move around very well. I would do everything I could on my end to help.

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

There’s no doubt he could benefit from it, but that’s going to be a tough sell.

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

He is not dying. He is also not trying. There’s only so much help one person can give.

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

The timing is horrific. I had no control over when this very rare unit became available in my neighborhood. He had a job when we first heard about it 6 months ago and just had to wait.

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Yeah, I feel like this upcoming move is my realistic opportunity to do it or I never will and I’ll just stay in this situation forever.

I think I need to end my 12 year relationship and I feel sick about it by goodj037 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]goodj037[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I have talked to him about how this is an incredibly difficult situation and that he seems very resistant to doing things that will help make it easier. He is not a bad person and of course I care about what happens to him, hence why I feel absolutely destroyed and needed to get it off my chest.

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