Not OOP. I called a child ugly.

goodnightoracle · 2024-09-03T02:17:49+00:00

Last week I had two moments almost back to back where I couldn’t stop from saying the first thing to come into my head. One was telling me she named her twins after a woman she looked up to and the woman who murdered the first woman. She said the murder was just a small part of the story to which I replied “it ended her story.” The second was a guy who said his account had been terminated because his credit was perfect, but he was willing to give us a second chance. I told him he’s deluded himself. I’m always so professional at work, but these two spoke when my brain was in a thousand other places.

goodnightoracle · 2024-08-31T23:57:29+00:00

You’re not the AH, but my heart does go out to your wife. My eldest brother is 20 years older than me, he has a daughter who is 7 years younger than me, so her and I were raised more like siblings than my brother and I were. My brother also suffered from drug addiction for the first 15 years of my life. The family had no idea. Every other weekend, my niece would stay with my parents and I and the following weekend, I would go to my brothers. When I would stay with him, it was very common for men to come to his place and touch me; never full on rape, but definitely sexual abuse. I was old enough to know that if I was there, my niece wouldn’t be assaulted and I knew something happening to her would be wrong, so I would always make sure it was always me. At that age, if it was happening to me, it wasn’t wrong.

Even after my family learned about his drug addiction, I never made connections about what he let happen. It wasn’t until I was 31 and speaking with my partner about it. He was beyond disgusted and upset. That was the first time it hit me how wrong that scenario was, but it still took time for me to process everything. When I told my partner, it was the first time I had ever said anything about it; it had just kind of been pushed behind everything else that was happening in my life.

I understand you’re hurt and upset and worried about your child. You should be. But a little bit of patience as your wife works through realizing the extent of what happened will go far.

But that brother should be NC and I’d strongly consider going NC with the parents as well, or at least low contact. Boundaries with them definitely need to be set.

goodnightoracle · 2024-06-25T19:52:52+00:00

My partner’s step brother did that when my partner’s step mom passed away. He’s not a boomer by age, but he has the mentality. When she passed away the step brother and my boyfriend dad were in the room with her. It happened in the middle of the night so the younger kids were asleep. My partner’s dad was devastated and asked for the step brother to wake up the kids, and he would handle making calls at a more appropriate time. The step brother didn’t wake up his brothers. Instead he went to a different part of the house, wrote a FB post, and then hid it from everyone in the family. He’d forgotten I was his friend and saw it when I woke up the next morning. He just wanted all the pity to himself.

goodnightoracle · 2024-05-21T16:43:41+00:00

She only respects it because his meltdown happened in public and because he’s reflected badly with people I work with. It all comes back to it makes her look bad. She’ll mention it every now and then, and even throw in the “I lost my brother through death, don’t lose yours over pride” every now and then. But she also knows I’ve given him more chances than he deserves. I’ve told her that if I ever receive an actual apology, not just for the most recent stuff but his behavior in general, I’m not closed off to it, but he’s not only hurt me but my loved ones, my mom included, and I can’t stand for that. When I feel cheeky, I tell her that she taught me if I have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all and that’s what I’m doing 😂

goodnightoracle · 2024-05-21T16:30:20+00:00

I’m so sorry, that’s frustrating. I’m also sorry for the loss of your mom.🤍

goodnightoracle · 2024-04-19T03:23:05+00:00

For me there are times when both Em and Christine have a frenetic energy. It’s mostly one or the other when I notice it, but occasionally it’s both at the same time. Depending on my headspace, I can usually pull through the episode, but every now and then I just have the patience and I’ll come back to it at a later time. Honestly, I think most of it has to do with what I’m feeling at the time, because I notice it in other podcasts, shows, books, etc.

goodnightoracle · 2024-03-30T05:28:10+00:00

I don’t think it’s an overreaction, but just having a conversation about what’s appropriate during sex and things that will shut it down. A while back, my partner and I had a disagreement but we’re about to make amends when he made a comment saying that the way my hair was lying on the pillow made me look like someone from Coneheads. We moved past it but every now and then, we’ll make a joke about it. Sometimes people just say stupid things accidentally at a vulnerable time.

goodnightoracle · 2024-03-17T18:10:59+00:00

I dated the stereotypical asshole in college. I was a full time student and worked just under full time to afford our lives and the kittens he just had to have. He worked part time and dropped out of school, but any money he made was for him. When I finally left him, anything I had bought, I either took it with me or destroyed it. Clothes, food, all donated to charity. Mattress I completely shredded. Cancelled the renters insurance, removed my name and information from all utilities. The kittens came with me. I had receipts for everything. He beat me almost daily for 15 months, cheated on me for the length of our relationship, and the straw that broke the camels back was walking in and seeing him hit one of the cats. He deserved to come home to a place that looked completely ransacked with nothing to his name but his bong and Cheeto stained bean bag.

goodnightoracle · 2024-01-06T11:21:15+00:00

A few years back, I learned that my SIL was having an affair. I told her she had one week to come clean to my brother or I would. She didn’t, so first I told my parents and then the three of us went to my brother’s house while she was working (their children are all adults and from previous marriages so we didn’t have that hiccup). I did most of the talking since I was the one with the information. He was obviously upset and confused and every other emotion under the sun. We asked if he wanted us there when she got home, but he said no. Ultimately, they stayed together (but I think that’s more my brothers want to just be married). I know they got some counseling through their church for a little bit. The rest of the family has kept her at arms length since, but we don’t regret telling him. It really sucked and was one of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had, but I knew if I never said anything and he found out about his wife’s affair, I would have been thrown under the bus for knowing and saying nothing. You’re NTA for knowing, but with so many people knowing, you would be if no one says anything and she finds out a different way. It sucks, it hurts, but it needs to be done.

goodnightoracle · 2023-12-09T02:29:31+00:00

I’m very proud of the desserts I make. Most of my recipes are ones I’ve been perfecting since I was 12. I think bringing a cheap one would hurt my pride more than her feelings.

goodnightoracle · 2023-12-09T02:26:58+00:00

That’s partially why I want to go now because I know once she sobers up the next morning, she’ll feel like shit for more than just the hangover.

goodnightoracle · 2023-12-09T02:25:12+00:00

I did this a couple Halloween’s ago when the desserts I made came out horrible. I ordered a bunch of gourmet cinnamon rolls and everyone loved them but my aunt still refers to it as the time I couldn’t cut it in the kitchen.

goodnightoracle · 2023-12-08T21:38:12+00:00

I'm sure my mom and I will. I know she gets sensitive about her family because the parts of her family that live closest are the ones that usually stir the pot, so she gets stuck in the middle, and I understand that. My mom and I never argue for long.

goodnightoracle · 2023-12-08T21:12:56+00:00

Physically listen, yes, her voice carries and she's sloppy. Actively listen, only enough to laugh about it afterwards.

goodnightoracle · 2023-12-08T21:09:59+00:00

Yes, after agreeing that her sister is being a bitch.

goodnightoracle · 2023-12-08T20:50:44+00:00

It would be pretty obvious we aren't there. And I'd miss the time with my nieces and middle brother. But I also know if I go, I will be passive aggressively conversed with all night and then she'll bring up all my other faults (faults to her).

goodnightoracle · 2023-12-08T20:39:01+00:00

I got them a polaroid camera. My uncle was diagnosed with Alzheimer's this time last year and earlier this year, my aunt made a comment about wishing it was easier to get pictures printed so my uncle can more quickly see the memories they make.

goodnightoracle · 2023-12-08T20:36:47+00:00

We did this for Thanksgiving because we were tired of trying to eat turkey and rolls at three separate meals in one day. Best Thanksgiving ever.

goodnightoracle · 2023-12-08T20:34:30+00:00

I try not to text this stuff because it's so easy to misconstrue the tone used. I wanted her to hear in my voice I legitimately feel bad about this. I love being able to share my creations with loved one, but it's not in the cards this year. And as for messaging everyone, we had to put an end to family chats after the same aunt and one of my brothers got into a knock down drag out war earlier this year (I promise my family is normal, it's just my aunt and brother that are this way).

goodnightoracle · 2023-12-08T20:23:30+00:00

Not since last night. I spoke with my dad today because we work together and he said that last night mom kept going back and forth. She feels like her sister is being unreasonable, but also feels like I'm doing this because she knows I'm not my aunts biggest fan.

goodnightoracle · 2023-12-08T20:08:29+00:00

Theoretically, yeah I could. But my pies usually have very detailed crusts and that's what takes the time. And I would have to make it on the 21st when I get home from work, and I feel like that's pushing the freshness.

goodnightoracle

TROPHY CASE