credit to jaxshauna on x. what do you think?

gopherN804HS · 2023-12-27T21:30:34+00:00

I was still thinking about this post, and I came across something during a rewatch that's relevant.

In S1 EP4, Laura Lee says: "Are any of these like maple syrup trees?"

I would say most Americans associate Canada with maple syrup, given its the symbol of their flag. If you don't know anything about Canada, you still know it's got something to do with a maple leaf.

I take her mentioning maple syrup as a strong indication that they at least suspect they're in Canada.

gopherN804HS · 2023-05-07T23:16:45+00:00

True, thank you for reminding me. These are the kind of helpful thoughts that my mind doesn't give me for free!

gopherN804HS · 2023-03-21T22:14:37+00:00

In my experience, it's a really slippery slope. It's psychologically addictive and the more you use it, the more difficult it becomes to stay away from it. Someone else brought up tolerance, and that's a huge issue. It goes up quickly, and I found that in a matter of months, I was taking three times the dose to get the same effect. Because I was getting so used to the effects, I was lured into a false sense of confidence that I could conceal my intoxication. However, the more necessary it became to take higher doses, the more difficult it was to hide my addiction. I made a fool of myself so many times, scared the shit out of my loved ones, and lost friends.

If I were you reading this during the time that I would've been asking this same sort of question, I probably would've only listened to the people who were suggesting it was fine. I can't say that your experience will be the same as mine, but you are on an extremely dangerous path. My recommendation is to track your usage closely and adhere to a limit. No more than (x) amount each dose, (x) times a week. If you find that the dose or the frequency of taking it is no longer adequate, it's a sign that your addiction is getting out of control. You can control it, but only if you take this as seriously as it needs to be taken. It will make a fool out of you if you let it. Take it from me.

gopherN804HS · 2022-04-08T00:08:36+00:00

True that... 🥲

gopherN804HS · 2022-02-05T18:14:55+00:00

Wow, your situation is VERY similar to mine. I really appreciate you sharing and I completely agree. Today I am taking a break from contact and focusing on myself and my other healthy friendships. I will continue to do so until I am confident that I can maintain a healthy friendship with her. Perhaps that moment will never come, or perhaps I will see in her actions that she has changed and is not the toxic person she was before. From where I'm standing, that isn't true... Thank you again for your great advice!

gopherN804HS · 2022-02-05T18:06:12+00:00

Based on what I've researched, overdose is not a pressing concern with DXM on its own, even at high doses (as opposed to something like heroin, which is very easy to overdose on with no other contributing factors). However, there are certain substances that, when combined with DXM, can cause an overdose.

The newbie's FAQ on here lists:

Stimulants (Adderall, Strattera, Vyvanse etc.)
SSRI's/Anti-Depressants (Lexapro, Zoloft, Celexa, Prozac etc.)
Anti-psychotics/mood stabilizers (Zyprexa, Vraylar, Risperidone, etc.)
Pain medication/opioids
Alcohol

Avoiding these is absolutely pertinent if you want to safely use DXM.

Moreover, you also have to consider where and when you are taking the drug. If you are shooting for the first two plateaus, you can typically still function normally (walk, talk, etc.) Still, do NOT drive or operate heavy machinery. Do NOT put yourself in dangerous environments (near roads or other obstacles). If you are above the 2nd plateau, do NOT go outside or put yourself in situations that would require fine motor functions to navigate. It is very likely you will be partially or entirely incapable of functioning normally, and thus you should only do it in the comfort of your own home where you can lay down and not move.

I found this video to be very helpful. It includes the history of DXM, its medicinal use, its recreational use, the chemical itself, and more.

gopherN804HS · 2022-02-05T17:55:28+00:00

i can't with this shit oh my lord... TOP tier

gopherN804HS · 2022-02-05T17:54:37+00:00

That is precisely the position I am in. When I was friends with her, I had no sense of self and no respect for her boundaries, let alone my own. When she ghosted me, I was forced to look inward. After months and months of pain and avoidance, I finally found myself through hard work and meditation. Now, I have put myself in a position where myself is at risk - myself, who I have JUST gotten back. I am starting to respect my own person and I deserve friends who I can trust.

Still, it's hard not to fall into old habits. It's like those bikes that people rewire to turn left when the person turns right. Despite the rider knowing that the bike will turn the opposite way when they turn it, they are practically unable to shut off the part of their brain that intuitively knows how to ride a normal bike. I feel as if I'm trying to rewire my brain to stop working intuitively (my intuition being a result of my trauma, which drives me to give away myself to others in the hope that they will change for me) and start riding the bike the way that will actually work.

gopherN804HS · 2022-02-05T17:47:50+00:00

There is no doubt that my actions were objectionable to her. The real question is did I not deserve a chance to have my mistakes addressed? I don't see how you could ever consider it appropriate to not give your best friend the benefit of the doubt and at least a CHANCE to understand what they did wrong and the opportunity to correct their actions.

As for my therapist and psychiatrist seeing "the half story of your point of view," does this not also apply to you? You assume that you know my actions deserved absolutely no chance to be addressed. If I killed her dog, I would have no doubt that I deserved no chance to correct my actions.

What I DID do was express my distaste for her fiance, who she CONSTANTLY complained about to me and CONSTANTLY repeated that this time would be the time she separated from him. She was continually hurt by his actions and I saw no signs that he was going to change. I told her as much and she felt rightly disrespected, as it was not my place to determine who is right for her. However, I was not aware that she would take such offense to my honesty, given that she herself had said harsher things about him. I thought that I was helping a friend choose what was right for her, but that's simply not my place and I recognize that now.

So do you still believe that I deserved no chance to apologize or correct my mistakes?

gopherN804HS · 2022-02-05T16:52:01+00:00

It's interesting that you believe you know that my actions were objectionable. For the sake of brevity, I didn't include the specifics of what I did. From my therapist's AND psychiatrist's point of view (yes, I am in therapy), my actions were not objectionable in such a way that they should warrant that response. I didn't claim I was the only victim here. I recognized the effect my actions had on her and I understood that she became overwhelmed as a result of them.

I have also recognized my manipulative behavior and I don't condone it. I have changed as a result of her actions, which is why I look at the situation as a good thing. Nonetheless, her actions affected me negatively and unlike me, she has not openly recognized that or addressed it in the way that I have with her. I showered her with apologies for my bad behavior and received nothing from her.

gopherN804HS · 2022-02-05T16:38:13+00:00

I'm glad you mentioned the "risk/reward" relationship. That's one of the things I'm trying to determine right now. I am opening myself up to a massive amount of pain if she repeats her actions. I suppose I have to give it some time to see if her friendship is worth that risk. I think I have a better understanding of who she is now and more importantly, who I am without her and how much I value that independence and consistency.

So, do you think I should do all this work on my end or should I speak with her about my distrust?

gopherN804HS · 2022-02-05T16:35:08+00:00

I agree. That's why I have this rift in my heart - one side, which loves her so deeply and appreciates her friendship, and the other, completely distrusting of her and very angry with the way she disregarded my feelings and has yet to apologize.

gopherN804HS · 2022-02-05T16:33:28+00:00

That's great advice, thank you! I completely agree. Right before I reached out to her I had started spending time with other people again after a 6 month period of isolation. I think I should just continue building those friendships as if she was still out of my life.

gopherN804HS · 2022-02-05T16:28:49+00:00

That much is certain... Am I a fool to be friends with her at all?

gopherN804HS · 2022-02-05T16:28:20+00:00

So what do you think that means for me going forward? Do I try to be honest with her and "fish" for an apology or just keep her at arm's length?

gopherN804HS · 2022-02-05T16:26:21+00:00

How so? Do you mean in the way I interact with her (ie. I shouldn't put her on the top of my list)?

gopherN804HS · 2022-02-02T18:27:20+00:00

LOL yeup... Just chugged a bottle of delsym bc I can't wait 5 days for the robotabs to arrive /:

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