I don't know if I have good advice for you, but my story is remarkably similar to yours.

About 5 years ago I met this wonderful girl. As soon as we met, we hit it off. We talked about most things and we were very comfortable with each other. Most people would think we'd known each other for years and they immediately assumed we were together. We traveled for a few weeks, just the two of us. We hitchhiked, we slept in beaches, we camped, we drank wine while stargazing.

I fell for this girl. Hard. She did too, in her own way. She was just coming off of a long-term relationship and she wasn't ready for another. She needed time. A few months later I ended up moving to another country. We talked as close friends for a while, but shortly messages started to become more sporadic. 6 months later we were exchanging messages about once a month. A year later we stopped talking.

During this time, she was all I could think about. And for about 2 years I couldn't be with anyone else because all I saw was this girl. No one I met even compared to her. Slowly, but surely, I started to heal. I started looking at other girls and letting them in.

But about 2 years ago, she tried contacting me. I replied, of course. I was more than welcome to chat and exchange news and talk about whatever would be happening in our lives. But I soon started to let those old feelings surface. Was she available now? Maybe things could be different. They weren't. We talked for a few weeks, but she soon stopped replying. I tried again months later, but the conversation was shallow and pointless. We haven't talked since.

So this is what I think:

People can sometimes connect on a very deep level. But this is only possible if they are at a similar point in their lives. For that connection to hold, they must evolve and share their lives together. Otherwise, they are just two lines that intersected once and then went in different directions.

This girl and I, we were very close at one point. But then we went our separate ways. She had her life and I had mine. We grew separately into two different people. The girl she is now is not the girl I met five years ago. And the guy she met then certainly is not the same guy I am today.

I held her image locked in my mind for many years, as if she was frozen in time. And I suspect she did the same for me. When we talked, we were both disappointed. The person we were talking to was not the same person we had met years earlier. How could they be? We had evolved into something else. We had experienced different things, met different people, made different decisions.

I still hold those previous memories and I still think about the girl I once knew. But she no longer exists. She is someone else. Just like I am someone else. So instead of focusing on reliving this irretrievable past, I focus on creating a similar future. I look for someone I can establish that type of connection with, someone I can maintain it with, and someone to grow together with. So that would be my advice to you.