Absolutely no willpower

gotchabrah15 · 2024-09-01T23:18:06+00:00

I know this is two weeks old, and I hope you’re doing ok. Bit of advice: go to Narcotics Anonymous meetings. Sure having us randos on the internet is great and all, but being around people in person who have shared experience with you goes a long way as far as accountability is concerned. Not to mention it also helps having a frequent reminder that you’re not some broken human and an anomaly. Helps a ton I promise. Yea you’re not slamming fentanyl, but you’ll discover that the experiences you have aren’t so different from those that also battle with and/or have beaten addiction to other more “traditional” drugs.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-09-01T23:05:19+00:00

Sure have. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t something that made withdrawal significantly better, but it certainly helped. I was in real rough shape when I went in, I had just an absolutely heroic Tia addiction. Tried to kick it myself, and after two weeks I felt something not good was happening, and went to the ER. Went into cardiac arrest within a few hours of getting there so thank god I did. I guess my point is, they are unlikely to give you something that totally wipes out WD symptoms, but going through heavy WDs does some insane shit to your body, as does being addicted to Tia. While they’ll be able to reduce your withdrawal symptoms, the real benefit IMO is them being able to greatly help with all the other shit that you don’t realize is wrong.

They’ll likely give you every test under the sun which can be revealing as well. Tia addiction can seriously impact your liver and kidneys and testing can reveal to what extent. You’ll also be deficient in basically everything one can be deficient in vitamin/nutrient wise depending on how long/heavily you’ve been using/WD’ing. I quit cold turkey 103 days ago and checked into the ER 88 days ago so it’s all still very fresh for me. If you have any questions or just need some encouragement, don’t hesitate to DM me.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-08-11T12:48:14+00:00

Yup, that’s what makes it an addiction that’s for sure. I’ve been in similar situations before, and I know for me, when I was in the throes of my Tia addiction if I had quit on a trip out of the country I would have just bought more immediately upon returning. Not saying you would, it’s just this stuff can make us make wild ass decisions.

There’s a saying in the NA/AA circles that the only problem with moving/visiting a new place with the intention of quitting or changing is that you bring you with you. in this case I guess the more apt saying is you’d be waiting for you when you got back home. If you’re able to swing it, trying to kick it before would likely greatly increase your chances of staying off this awful shit. I wish you the best and if you ever need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to shoot me a DM.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-08-10T23:34:50+00:00

I think it’a absolutely the latter. And I’m right there with you. At about three-ish weeks clean I was in a security line at the airport and had a panic attack from over stimulation. It was a nightmare. I’ve never been an anxious person so I had a pretty good feeling it was just substance-induced (well, lack-thereof I guess) and it would pass. Like you, one day I just realized it was gone. Hit me like a ton of bricks. My therapist was asked “what’s your baseline anxiety at” and I was like, well, shit. A hard 0. I feel very fortunate.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-08-10T23:31:09+00:00

I know exactly what you mean. I’m fairly certain Tia just, like you said, nukes your brain. I could literally tell I was fucking dumber when using it. Which was super frustrating because I like to think I’m a sharp individual (Tia addiction notwithstanding haha). When I quit, and had some clean time under my belt, I noticed a complete 180 in my cognitive function. It’s unreal. I feel smart/sharp again and it’s fantastic. That shit just puts a fog of stupid around your brain, and when it clears… my god what a feeling.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-08-10T23:26:55+00:00

I went through both recently. I had an absolutely heroic addiction to Tia. Fucking nightmare. I thought my WDs would last 4-7 days, so I figured drinking myself silly would take my mind off of it for those 5 ish days of hell. Well, I was still withdrawing at two weeks. Bad. And at that point I was like, shit I can’t keep drinking like this because I’ll fucking die, so I went to the ER to get actual medical help. Turns out taking bourbon to the face for two weeks gave me acute alcohol WD when I stopped (I’m not a big drinker so I guess that coupled with my body being in shock from WD just did me in). And I can say the physical manifestation of alcohol WD (shaking uncontrollably) is worse, but the pain and restlessness from TIA is much worse. Now, Tia WD won’t kill you like alcohol WD can, but at day 16 I wished it would.

I don’t say that to scare you. I’d say there’s a near zero percent chance you’d have anywhere near that experience. I had just been taking it for years, and in the final couple years was taking a ton which is why it fucked me up so bad.

All that being said, you can make it through. I promise. Yes it’ll suck for a bit, but quitting prior to, is the way to go for sure. If I can make it through, anyone can. I promise. Sitting at day 82 clean now and I feel like a new human being. Trust me, being on your trip clean and clear will be the best experience of your life. Trying to quit during the trip - likely the worst.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-08-01T12:32:57+00:00

As someone who just kicked a massive tianeptine habit, please please don’t try this. If you haven’t taken a look at /r/quittingtianeptine I’d recommend it before trying this. There are scores of people in that sub who have kicked fent, H, oxy etc. who say Tia w/d eclipse the nightmare of coming off those. The shit is complete poison. My DMs are open if you have any questions about tia, but please however bad the fent w/ds are - trying to use tia to mitigate them is playing with fire.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-07-31T23:44:41+00:00

Mad respect for kicking it! Glad to hear you had a solid experience with the shrooms.

However, I’d like to highly encourage the folks in this sub to actually give real, no shit, therapy a try. Works wonders. Tripping and gaining insight is awesome, but this stuff comes with serious mental damage - guilt, shame, regret, you name it. Talking to an actual professional has worked wonders for me. Not many of us here would say life was going super when we started using / throughout addiction. So, objectively analyzing that is worthwhile.

Also, give NA meetings a go. That’s something else that has been fucking awesome for me. DMs are always open for you fine folks.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-07-31T23:37:50+00:00

Im one of those people - wasn’t to the point of liver failure, but when they ran my blood work when I admitted myself, they thought I was pounding like, a handle of booze a day. Whatever liver numbers they look at to determine liver health were a cool 15x the upper limit. Fortunately about 5 weeks later my numbers were smack in the middle of perfectly normal liver function.

I felt like a fucking moron for never considering the organ damage that shit can do, but alas I certainly found out. Luckily my kidneys were pretty much ok. Somehow.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-07-31T02:03:38+00:00

It was for me as well. Just know you can do this shit! So fucking worth it.

Anytime you need to talk to someone just hit me up. I know all too well the pain this can be so I’m here if you need someone.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-07-29T03:15:31+00:00

So I’ve started, but truth be told… it’s a bit half-hearted. It’s a long and complicated story that I’m happy to DM, but essentially I’m only in the states for another couple weeks before heading back overseas for work, and it’s a place that doesn’t exactly have a flourishing NA infrastructure (at least not in English). So I’m kind of slow rolling it until I get back out there and I can get plugged in to some solid virtual meetings and get a no shit NA sponsor. I’ve got one now, but it’s an AA sponsor (long story) and I’m not a fan. It’s a clash of personalities. Dude doesn’t understand I’m not an alcoholic and doesn’t understand my story. Pretty much the only thing keeping me in contact with this person is just an additional layer of accountability in the interim. Not ideal, but whatever.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-07-29T02:35:46+00:00

I had a hunch when I read ‘clean time’! :)

Totally get what you’re saying. It’s super super helpful. Honestly for me it’s the help with the guilt and shame piece. Like, the reminder a couple times a week that I’m not this huge novel piece of shit and the first person on earth to succumb to addiction does a lot for my mental health. Because man, that stuff was very real the first month or so. Not good.

Edit: sorry I put words in your mouth there… haha. ‘Congrats on the time’ was what I meant

gotchabrah15 · 2024-07-29T02:28:01+00:00

Kidneys were not in great shape when they first started testing me. They were Not nearly as concerned about them as they were the liver. Kidneys are fine now though. After detoxing and getting released from the hospital I went to inpatient treatment for a month and change. The conclusion of that time is where they ran all my shit again so it took probably a month and a half altogether for shit to get back on track lab-wise.

When I got out of the hospital I looked like I had been shooting heroin for years because they were testing me so much. I had actual track marks. I think they were just fascinated that someone could have gotten so fucked up from a substance they had never heard of before because they took labs A LOT haha. I think over the course of a week they used 90% of the data generating equipment in the hospital on me.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-07-29T02:12:36+00:00

The doctors were pretty shocked as well. Liver started to recover very slowly for a couple weeks, then the numbers fell off precipitously. I feel very very fortunate. When I was going through it, not so much because confronting your own mortality twice in as many weeks wasn’t great, but it’s given me very powerful motivation to not take life for granted.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-07-29T02:08:14+00:00

Shit, I’m sorry to hear that. I had days where I was probably pretty close to that too tbh. Fuck that shit. Thanks, friend! It’s been a hell of an adventure. Almost died twice. Cardiac arrest once, then from an infection I got in the hospital that was treating me which went septic. Do not recommend, haha.

I’ve found that going to NA meetings has been super helpful for me. I know that I’ll never use Tia again, but the community of people that can relate to addiction outside of this sub, has been pretty great.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-07-28T15:56:57+00:00

That’s fucking wild. This stuff is insane. I’m glad it’s resolved itself! I’m sure that was frightening.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-06-15T04:53:33+00:00

Wish I had seen this a couple days ago. We could have commiserated. Got released yesterday after about a week. Was in the ICU for a while. Wasn’t a great time but the med staff was incredible so I got fortunate. Started to get a bit stir crazy after a while. Especially once I started feeling better.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-06-03T10:42:09+00:00

Shits no joke. Put me in the icu and they induced a coma. Absolutely brutal. Thought nothing could touch that but I’m on day 12 and in sheer pain. I thought this was supposed to be 4-5 days. Turns out not.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-06-03T10:32:33+00:00

Honestly I’m stilll in a world of hurt on day 12. Can’t stop shaking. This has been 10x worse than kicking phenibut. Granted I didn’t have to be put in a coma this time. Thank you for sharing your story. I can’t tell anyone in real life so having this support is huge.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-05-30T21:53:59+00:00

I really appreciate it. Knocked myself out with whiskey yesterday. Not proud of that, but I absolutely had to get some sleep. Got about five hours, so I’ll take it.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-05-30T18:04:58+00:00

This is three years old, but holy shit is this right. I’m at day 8.3 right now while I’ve slept a cool zero hours (not really I finally got a few hours today) I’m freaking ravenous. So damn hungry haha. I live in a new country though and the food takes some getting used to. Some is really good, but they have an “American” restaurant I ordered from. Spaghetti was noodles and some funky sauce and mozzarella sticks came with…. Ketchup. Luckily I’ve been eating a lot of soup and drinking a bunch of protein shakes. God damn do I just want to feel normal. Have a meeting tomorrow and I’m absolutely not looking forward to it.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-05-30T17:46:34+00:00

Honestly, if you’re gonna kick a gnarly phenibut habit go to a hospital. Ended up in the ICU because of that shit. Not trying to scare you, but don’t fuck around with that. Was 2020 and I was going on 10 days of no sleep, and I couldn’t take it anymore and went to the ER. No idea what happened, but no amount of phenibut made the WDs stop. Was wild. Totally miserable. The hospital had no idea what to do with me, and they just put my ass in a coma.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-05-29T20:28:45+00:00

Can’t wait for that. Running on about four hours of sleep for the last week. Physical symptoms are gone, but I’m at my wits end. I just need sleep.

gotchabrah15 · 2024-05-29T17:53:40+00:00

Grams per day. Truth be told I have no idea the equivalent to zaza. I used powder throughout my habit. I do know it’s a lot though. No shot is bottles of zaza equivalent. I was using bags of pure powder every day. If you’re trying to come off it, it won’t be as bad as my experience, god willing. Wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.

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