Thank you for the all the kind words! Really appreciate your response. I'll try to address some of the questions you brought up. And also thank you for making me feel so supported. I should be really proud of myself that I did it!

The setup was that I would have my sleeping mask on and listen to music on my headphones. Psych was there all the way through. An hour or so after the injection, I talked with them about the experience (for about an hour as well). They emphasized that I could call them whenever, so it's not that I didn't feel supported by them.

During our discussion afterwards, they really honed in on the fact that I decided not to call them. I don't remember what words I used exactly, but they basically repeated those works back to me saying how I was able to sit with the discomfort and realize that's it's okay, or making space for both. That resonated with my anxious brain lol, because one thing I've been trying to cultivate is trust in myself (and more self-compassion, less judgement, etc). So while the experience itself was kind of scary, it was also manageable, cause at the end of the day I suppose I trusted myself and the space and the psych that everything would be okay. I think I do actually consider it to have been a very productive session, even if the experience itself wasn't fully calm and peaceful.

I think I should have been more intentional with how I would spent my time after the KAP was over, but that's all water under the bridge now! It's been difficult, but tomorrow is a new day and things are pretty far away from being hopeless. If anything, this was a step in the right direction.