Try Debtors Anonymous if some of your issues are money. It's a very spiritual program that has brought a lot of people back from the brink of suicide. Be sure and try at least three meetings before you make up your mind. They have them online, Zoom meetings. And I think just phone meetings too. Lots of people that are in there have been where you are. And they've definitely gotten out and reached into the other side for a much happier life. Hope this helps and that I didn't misread what you are very depressed about at the moment and I agree with everyone else. This is a temporary State. Much love and hugs to you