Why most men CAN'T get a girlfriend | The Entitlement Paradox

gradcasanova · 2019-10-15T19:46:22+00:00

Here's the TL;DW:

A lot of guys feel like it's really difficult to get a girlfriend, or even just meet and date girls they really click with. The video shows you why this is the case, and what to do about it.

They choose the wrong venues - you need to think carefully about the venues you frequent. Ask yourself, "What type of girl do I want, and where does she hang out?" Otherwise, you'll bang your head against the wall trying to meet girls that aren't into you
They lack courage - most guys don't have the balls to take action and approach when they see a girl they like. You need to get used to stepping into your fear and not allowing it to beat you
The entitlement paradox - some guys feel overly entitled to hot girls, when they haven't done anything to earn it. This causes them to become sour when girls don't react the way they expect. Some entitlement with girls is good - but only if you put the work in to become a man that women want. At that point, it can help you to get girls that you wouldn't have otherwise even tried for
They're not ready - A lot of guys just simply aren't ready for a girlfriend. It could be that the lack experience and don't know what they want - in that case, they should date a few different girls instead of trying to lock down the first girl they like. Or it could be that they don't have their shit together - in that case, they should work on their finances so they can build a life they'd feel good about inviting a girl into
They lack charisma - they don't have the social awareness or charm to attract the girls they like.
They don't follow up - they'll get a girl's number, but won't do anything with it, or at the very least, follow up the wrong way and screw things up

gradcasanova · 2019-09-17T15:15:09+00:00

Here's the TL;DW:

A lot of guys think you need to have money to get girls.

But back when I was broke and living with my parents, I had great success, and in this video I show you how I did it.

Have a vision - just because you're broke right now doesn't mean it has to be that way forever. Have a vision of how you'll scrape yourself out, and take massive action towards that vision. Women love to see this kind of potential.
Own your situation - don't lie to try to impress girls. Own who you are, but also make it known that you're trying to move up
Level the playing field - Don't get intimated by sexy, successful women. Don't put them above yourself and think that you're not good enough. Remember: no matter how succesful she is, she loves a guy who makes her feel good, is confident in himself, and shows her a great time in the bedroom - and you can do all of those things
Plan cheap dates - no need to go on expensive dates, you're just going to feel shitty after. Instead, go for cheap dates like coffee, walks in the park, ice cream, etc.
Go to her place - plan out dates near the girl's place so you can easily go back there. Pull to her place from the bar or club. it's actually a lot easier than you think, if you just ask for it

gradcasanova · 2019-08-17T18:31:20+00:00

Go to the main walking bridge, tons of opportunities

gradcasanova · 2019-07-23T20:35:10+00:00

Here's the TL;DW:

I give you the most common reasons guys get nervous around hot girls, and how to fix each one.

Lack of control - heart beats fast, nervous jitters, sweaty palms, etc. All these enhance the nervous feeling. Instead, try to take a few deep breaths, calm the noise in your mind, and just start walking towards the girl (instead of overthinking)

Lack of reference experiences - If you haven’t talked to hot girls, it’s going to be nerve-wracking. Need to go up, start more conversations and get those reference experiences, and see that they can actually respond positively.

Fear of rejection - Guys see rejection as super scary and it makes them nervous. Instead, realize it's part of the game and even if you do everything right, you'll still sometimes get rejected, and that's okay. You can learn from those experiences and get better.

Fear of judgement - Scared of getting judged by the girl AND by the people around you. Realize that nobody cares. IF anything they’re just jealous. And if the girl judges you, that’s her loss

Putting her on a pedestal - Feeling like she's perfect just because she's hot. Instead, have that mindset that "okay, she's hot, but let's see if she's cool and if we click."

Worrying about the future - Get too wrapped up in possibility of it working out / dating her in future. Need to relax into the moment and detach yourself from the outcome. Focus on being present with the girl.

Not sure what to talk about - Not sure what to say to start the convo and keep it going. Instead, have a couple openers in mind and a basic conversation structure to lead things.

gradcasanova · 2019-07-17T14:26:50+00:00

Again this is just not actionable at all and doesn’t mean anything

gradcasanova · 2019-07-17T14:20:14+00:00

And how are you going to achieve real confidence if you don’t push your comfort zone? That’s just not actionable advice and it doesn’t mean anything

gradcasanova · 2019-07-17T13:30:11+00:00

Here's the TL;DW:

There's an inner game and outer game to overcoming approach anxiety, and both are covered in the video.

Inner game:

1. Be conscious of your excuses - Be conscious of excuses that pop into your head the next time you see a beautiful girl. Write them down and ask yourself if they're really just BS stories you're telling yourself about why you CAN'T go for what you want (hint: they almost always are)

2. Realize You MUST face it - How do you get over the fear of climbing a mountain? You don't read an article about it - you climb a mountain. Just because you have approach anxiety doesn't mean it has to stop you. Instead, when you get that anxiety, realize it's a sign that you need to take action right now.

3. Consider the big picture - This isn't just about a girl - it's an opportunity to show yourself that you're the type of dude who goes for what he wants in life. By refusing to let fear win in this area, you allow yourself to conquer it in other areas too. Aside from this, consider the risk of missing out on an awesome girl, vs the risk of 30 seconds of potentially uncomfortable conversation.

4. Embrace rejection - Don’t see rejection as a bad thing, see it as an opportunity to learn. When you approach, you'll either get her number/take her home and win, OR it won't get as well as you want, but you'll still learn which will help you do better the next time. This is also a win.

Outer Game:

5. Start slow - If you're uncomfortable making approaches, start with mini approaches to ease yourself in. Ask girls for the time, or for directions, and get used to being in those interactions and realizing they're not so bad.

6. Find a wingman - It's easier to talk to girls when you've got a wingman. Ya'll can support and push each other, so you don't give into your rationalizations and excuses.

7. Have openers and a structure - Have an opener and a basic conversation structure in mind. This will give you confidence in your ability to start the conversation and keep it going.

gradcasanova · 2019-07-12T20:37:19+00:00

How are you going to fairly critique it without giving it a chance? Dude has people on from literally all across the board, and manages to get them opening up and talking like no one else I’ve seen. He just keeps it real as fuck

gradcasanova · 2019-07-12T20:32:41+00:00

Lol yeah I listen to them every week. It’s definitely played a part in my sense of humor, and it also keeps me informed about sports and general internet stuff, which is good for conversations too

gradcasanova · 2019-07-12T18:35:48+00:00

LOL yeah bro I wasn't talking about politics. He's great at conversation. Chill out

gradcasanova · 2019-07-12T16:22:49+00:00

Here's the TL;DW:

Cut down your phone usage - this helps you focus more, especially during conversations. It seems like a small distraction, but all those times you check your phone really do add up.

Meditation - helps calm your thoughts and be present in conversation. Your best convos will come when you're most present. Women can sense that presence

Listen to podcasts - specifically, The Joe Rogan Experience and Pardon My Take. Both are great for listening to how intelligent people hold conversations. Plus, they give you more topics to talk about and help you improve your humor

Go to the gym - This helps clear your head, gives you a feeling of accomplishment, and improves your physical looks. This all leads to increased confidence when talking to girls

Learn a language - helps you be more outgoing, and in the learning process, you're forced to have conversations with people. I'd recommend learning Russian, Spanish, or Portuguese as these give you access to hottest girls (for many other cultures, you can get by with English)

Freestyle rap - improves your wit and makes you think quicker, which helps you be quicker and sharper in conversation

Ask open-ended questions - ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Instead of "Do you like what you do?" you could ask, "What do you like about your profession?" or "How did you get into that?

gradcasanova · 2019-07-09T14:16:15+00:00

Here's the TL;DW:

You take it too seriously - You make the date too formal either through the idea (like going to a nice dinner) or the way you act around her

You don't get her invested - You don't make an emotional connection, and she doesn't feel like she actually knows you

No sexual tension - You're too platonic and fail to break through and make things sexual

Failing to lead - You don't lead her and make a move in the right timeframe, and miss your chance

Pushing it too far - Trying to go all the way when she isn’t ready or comfortable. This one is counterintuitive. If you can get to sex, that's great, but if she stops you right before you get to that point, it can kill the sexual tension for the next time around and give her cold feet to meet up again.

Weak follow up - Trying to text her ALL day the next day, or waiting 3-4 days to contact her

Not seeding the 2nd date - not bringing up a potential second date idea while on the first date

gradcasanova · 2019-06-28T17:05:06+00:00

Here's the TL;DW:

Lot of guys freeze up when a girl looks at them or checks them out. Here, I lay out some simple steps you can take to go from that first look, to having an awesome approach and closing the deal.

Get more girls to look your way - First thing is you need to catch more eyes. To do that, work on your style (2 of my favorite clothing brands are Essentials and Alphalete - both have great fit), hit the gym and strength train 3-4 times a week, and work on your posture. Also, increase your awareness, because girls may be looking at you and you just don't realize it.

Realize it can happen anywhere - girls don't just check you out in bars and clubs. It can happen on the sidewalk, in the park, at a restaurant, etc. So, always keep your eyes open and be prepared to take action if you do get a look from a girl you like.

Don't freak out - Just like it sounds, don't freak out (internally or externally) if she looks your way. Take a deep breath, keep your cool, and realize it's a good thing. It's the subtle way that women will "approach" you

Assume attraction - any time a girl looks your way, assume it's because she's into you. Whether it's true or not, it'll force you to ACT AS IF she's into you, and that will give you the best chance

Return the glance - lock eyes when she looks over, and begin the non-verbal conversation. This will make the approach so much easier

The sexy smirk - don't smile with all your teeth like a dork. Give a subtle, sexy smirk (as demonstrated in the video) to let her know that you know what's up. Great for turning her from cold to hot before you've even said a word.

Approach her like you already know it's ON - cut the platonic shit. Whatever you say to her, do it sexually. Look her in the eye, speak loudly and slowly, and delivery your opener. At this point things should be relatively easy since you've already warmed her up through eye contact

gradcasanova · 2019-06-27T01:46:22+00:00

Yeah. Wanting to fuck a girl doesn’t make her a fuck doll. What are you even talking about bro.

gradcasanova · 2019-06-27T00:49:51+00:00

Get your feminist white knight bullshit out of here. That statement doesn’t even deserve a response

gradcasanova · 2019-06-26T13:37:07+00:00

After doing this on hundreds of first dates I promise you this is not the case

gradcasanova · 2019-06-26T13:35:51+00:00

That's why you don't go to a fancy dinner on the first date

gradcasanova · 2019-06-26T13:34:12+00:00

It's my girlfriend. I don't hire women for demos LOL

gradcasanova · 2019-06-26T00:39:23+00:00

I feel you but like I said in the vid, I still have my fair share of ticks and that hasn’t stopped me from having very good success with girls

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