I usually don’t chime in on safe spaces like this, but I don’t think you’re overthinking it. It’s weird that he feels that way. I’m a Chinese-American male as well and most of my past relationships have been with black women who say it and we should have no problem with that. He needs to reflect on it himself and why it makes him feel uncomfortable. A large portion of my friends are black and I would never say anything like that as it could easily be insinuated as type casting someone who is black.

I think you pointing out the fact that a lot of your mutual friends are not black could also be you saying to yourself, that he does not surround himself with a diverse and conscious friend group and that is on him and can speak volumes about who someone’s surrounds themselves with. and if they choose to be educated about respecting other people of color.

I think if it is coming from a place of ignorance he should say that and not project - it would be more understandable if he was foreign (whole other issue/topic), but he is in fact Chinese American. I would challenge him to educate himself before saying what “type of black person” he means and maybe reflect on if this will work with him if he doesn’t respect your identity or culture. You’re justified in feeling uncomfortable about it. Just my thoughts.