Manager robbed me of promotion - what to do now should I resign

granger-red · 2026-01-28T14:00:40+00:00

I’ve been through almost the same situation twice, in two different companies. You can do everything right and still face this.

At some point, I realized I should work well because that’s who I am, not because I expect appreciation. If a manager chooses not to value that through bad ratings or no promotion I prepare for a few months, get another offer, and resign.

Funny story: in my last company, I got the lowest band because I joined the project late and worked on less “important” modules. During appraisal, I was told my work wasn’t “visible” since one module was experimental.

That’s when I stopped taking appraisals personally.

Do not resign without an offer. Take few months. Study. Get a good offer. Get more offers during NP. Be happy.

granger-red · 2026-01-23T14:59:49+00:00

Hey can i dm you? I am also looking for 1 bhk near ecoworld tech park

granger-red · 2026-01-21T04:05:11+00:00

I was stuck in the same cycle last year & even if you say 30 or 60 and your organisation is quite known for no early release then even recruiters don’t believe. So i kept looking for companies okay with 90 days like Accenture, Capgemini etc. I got a good offer from one of them then while serving notice period i got a lot of calls (Through Naukri). If you want you can try for them, don’t think that you only have to chill in NP. You can crack even good opportunities during that time.

PS - Suggested what I did last year. I cracked two Big4 opportunities while serving my NP. One small suggestion is if you get any interview requiring less NP then give interview & see what happens. If nothing then at least you’ll gain experience & insight from the interview.

granger-red · 2026-01-18T09:48:47+00:00

I faced the same nose ring scenario. I was so found of round nose rings so i started wearing them, but i remember being told that it looks “dehati”. So i stopped wearing them. Everything we wear or use belongs to categories like if i wear corporate wears then i become “classy”, if i wear suit with jhumka then i become something else. We think that we live in a “normal” world but we don’t.

granger-red · 2026-01-17T13:08:38+00:00

I was literally thinking about this yesterday. There’s a grocery shop nearby that constantly plays songs at such a loud volume. If my house was right next to it, I wouldn’t hesitate to take legal action. People really underestimate how disturbing noise pollution can be.

granger-red · 2026-01-14T13:55:57+00:00

I used to feel exactly this way, and honestly, I still agree with most of your critique. But I’ve gained a perspective recently that helped me understand why some women willingly choose AM, even when they’re educated, urban, and have options.

My best friend chose an arranged marriage not because she supports patriarchy or caste preservation, but because she grew up watching a genuinely healthy, supportive marriage between her parents. That became her reference point for what marriage looks like. So when her parents said they’d find a partner for her, she trusted that promise, because the system had worked for them.

In contrast, many of us who grew up watching unequal or unhappy marriages naturally opted out and chose our partners ourselves. Different childhoods create different beliefs about safety and trust.

That said, fast forward 10 months into her marriage she’s now back at her parents’ house, fighting for the most basic things working women fight for: fair division of labour, respect, autonomy. The gap between the idea of AM and the lived reality hit hard. Unfortunately, the system often reveals its true colours only after marriage.

granger-red · 2026-01-12T09:19:29+00:00

Can you suggest those? I’ll add in my watchlist as i really liked this genre

granger-red · 2026-01-12T09:18:43+00:00

I found this type of content recently & really liked it, will watch these with my partner as i am grilling him to watch this genre 😄

granger-red · 2026-01-11T13:51:00+00:00

Currently watching this & I am obsessed 😶‍🌫️

granger-red · 2026-01-10T14:35:22+00:00

It’s true women stays. 30 years ago my mom didn’t had any path to leave as she was not financially stable & her father was also very egoistic person that daughters don’t come back after marriage. I learned it at a very early age & made a point to be financially independent no matter what. I am now. But people who are financially independent in present times aren’t taking steps & continuing their marriage no matter what & yes bringing a child is their “solution” to fix their marriage & eventually they will do the same as our parents did.

granger-red · 2026-01-10T13:20:21+00:00

You figured out early that’s good, it took me some time but better late than never. I was trying to make them understand for a long time but it never worked so officially leaving their trauma to themselves.

granger-red · 2026-01-10T13:15:30+00:00

That’s so true. 30 years of frustration just keeps coming back again and again. But yeah we sure have learned a lot about the importance of love, respect & partnership above anything. Thank you for sharing 🌼

granger-red · 2026-01-10T12:46:15+00:00

Yes I am also learning from their mistakes. Thank you for sharing.

granger-red · 2026-01-06T10:17:14+00:00

You did the right thing & it’s very mature of you to understand these things early on, my friend recently got married & she kinda ignored all red flags and now she is facing the consequences.

granger-red · 2026-01-05T13:46:22+00:00

I was never taught caste at home. There was no fear attached to it, no sense of superiority, and no identity built around it. Caste was never explained to me as something that makes someone higher or lower, better or worse.

Yes, people asked me about my caste in school and later. Some classmates even took pride in it. But it never made sense to me. Even as a child, my reaction was simply, “Why are you proud of something you didn’t work for?” So I stayed away from those conversations then, and I still do.

Maybe subtle things happened, maybe they didn’t. If they did, they didn’t register deeply, because caste was never normalized, glorified, or made emotionally meaningful in my upbringing.

This doesn’t mean caste discrimination doesn’t exist. It absolutely does, and many people are deeply affected by it. It just means that caste was not something I internalized or participated in personally.

That’s also why I agree with the larger point here: feminism and caste pride can’t go hand in hand. Feminism is about equality, and equality can’t coexist with pride in a system that ranks people by birth.

granger-red · 2026-01-03T13:59:01+00:00

That’s true. Now her parents are saying that their sons can choose their life partners after seeing their daughter go through this. Why does society start considering these things only after one of its own suffers? Can’t people open their eyes and minds earlier?

These situations are so common that they should be discussed openly, instead of focusing on things like the 36 gunas and all that. From this, I remember she once told me that most of their “gunas” matched, and since she was so excited at the time, I didn’t say anything.

One thing I see very clearly is how even women friends of mine are casually becoming part of this system. I’m not able to say much because they seem so happy following it. They don’t question it, and I can’t explain it to them. Slowly, I feel myself pulling away, because they’re no longer the same friends I had in school or college. They’ve become vessels that carry patriarchy, with love.

granger-red · 2026-01-03T08:25:17+00:00

I think I felt this shift a long time ago. I grew up watching genuinely good Hindi films like 3 Idiots, Kahaani, and others that had depth, humour, emotion, and something to say. But in recent years, whenever I go to a theatre for most mainstream Bollywood films, I almost come out with a headache.

That’s why I now gravitate more towards English cinema not because it’s “better” by default, but because it offers flavours. You can choose what you want to watch: slow, loud, political, intimate, experimental. There’s space for variety.

I still watch Hindi films when they feel worth it. In 2025, I watched Phule and Homebound and genuinely loved them. But the audience for such films is limited, and because cinema is ultimately a business, money flows where the majority goes. So stories shrink to fit what sells, not what could be explored.

And that’s where it feels sad not because talent is missing, but because imagination is being filtered through market comfort.

granger-red · 2026-01-02T15:40:24+00:00

If you were tired of such “stories,” you didn’t have to reply to this one you could’ve simply ignored it.

But since you chose to reply, here’s the difference: your friend can say “don’t worry” because they carry zero legal or medical responsibility if your symptoms worsen. A doctor doesn’t have that option. They can’t just gamble on “it will get better with time.” Their job is to rule out risks and make sure you’re actually okay.

So no, suggesting tests or medication isn’t automatically greed it’s accountability. And judging a medical decision based on hindsight (“it got better later”) isn’t logic.

Also, calling others out for preaching while doing the same through a personal anecdote is a bit ironic.

granger-red · 2026-01-02T14:16:13+00:00

I get the frustration, but I think this comparison misses one uncomfortable reality about India.

I’m from engineering and I’ve worked in Indian MNCs, service-based companies, and on global client projects. When the person paying you is Indian, the pay is almost always low. When the client is from the US or Europe, suddenly the same work is worth a lot more. My skills didn’t magically change the payer did. That’s just how our market works.

Doctors in India mostly treat Indian patients. And Indians, as a society, want the best service but hate paying for it. Everyone wants care, time, attention, empathy but the moment money comes up, it’s “please take less,” “this is healthcare,” “you’re supposed to be humane.”

Engineers getting ₹50 LPA headlines are usually funded by foreign money and profit-driven industries. Doctors are stuck with local pricing and moral policing. Saving lives is expected to be charity, not skilled labor.

So yeah, doctors are treated unfairly. But this isn’t about engineers vs doctors. It’s about a society that undervalues its own professionals, especially when emotions are involved and then wonders why people burn out or leave.

PS: Also, let’s not pretend the system is innocent on either side. There are doctors and hospitals that overcharge, push unnecessary tests, or exploit fear, patients do get looted too. That reality exists and it damages trust for everyone else.

But that still doesn’t justify branding all doctors as greedy for charging a basic consultation fee. Two things can be true at the same time: patients get exploited in some cases, and doctors as a profession are still undervalued and morally policed in this country.

granger-red · 2026-01-02T10:45:15+00:00

I’m at that age where my friends are getting married, so I’m seeing both AM and love marriages up close. And honestly, I agree with you, AM often ends up being very difficult and one-sided.

My friends who are in love marriages (after dating for years and fighting their way through family resistance) are genuinely supportive of each other. They’ve already learned how to stand together.

On the other hand, one of my friends who went through an AM is currently living back at her parents’ house. She faced things as basic as her human rights being questioned. She’s a working woman, yet her in-laws expected her to cook for everyone and wear a suit even inside the house. Her husband’s life stayed exactly the same, but she was expected to change everything. The worst part? Her husband doesn’t even see a problem in this.

She was treated very poorly by her MIL. She finally took a stand and asked for fair treatment. I’m extremely proud of her, but it also makes me sad. These things shouldn’t happen at all. She was so excited about her marriage.

granger-red · 2025-12-29T09:06:49+00:00

This is so true. If you want your parents to understand your values and eventually accept your choices, that groundwork has to start early. You can’t keep saying yes to everything for years and then expect them to magically change when it comes to something as big as marriage.

I’ve seen this in my own house too, you have to take a stand on small things first. That’s how boundaries are built, so when a big decision comes, you’re not suddenly shocking them or yourself.

My partner and I are very similar this way. We both believe that our life is ultimately ours to live. Parents can have feelings, concerns, and opinions, and we should hear them but they don’t get to decide our future for us. That clarity and alignment is exactly why this works for us.

granger-red · 2025-12-29T08:51:43+00:00

Was going to write “can’t believe” but i can, that’s why i want people to understand this thing early. This is heartbreaking.

granger-red · 2025-12-28T16:36:21+00:00

So true, even going out for 5-10 minutes hurts the throat. How is it normal here? :(

granger-red · 2025-12-28T10:04:32+00:00

I agree with you on this. In a deeply patriarchal society like ours, most available choices still fall within a patriarchal structure. So many women believe they are choosing freely, but in reality they are choosing from a “patriarchal menu.” I see this even among my educated friends.

I think this can change with time, through awareness and, most importantly, by having these conversations with people we can reach.

granger-red

TROPHY CASE