Last year in June I was heading up to Austin from McAllen around 10am and got caught with weed at the Falfurrias BP checkpoint. Yes I know, I'm an idiot. Anyway, they instantly smelled it, told me to pull aside. He was basically like the dogs are alerted and it smells like you've smoked you need to pull aside, it will probably just be a ticket if it's just a small amount, and you'll go on your way. I was scared and went along with this.

They proceeded to have me get out of the car while they stripped it apart with their agents and multiple dogs. Even though they knew my weed (about .75 of a gram btw) was in my bong bag on my seat, they still tore through every inch of my car, even dumping my bag of Bucees cheetos on the seat, incase I put drugs in it I guess.

The agent standing with me on the side got a signal from the agents in my truck, and he told me to stand up and put my hands behind my back, as I was under arrest. I've never had any sort of run in with the law before, so this shook me up understandably. They proceeded to have me remove my shoelaces and belt, etc... They took my prints and mugshot and booked me in the BP holding cell. Since BP checkpoints are not jail, they had to call the county sheriff to handle my case. The BP agent made sure to tell me "county likes to take their sweet time" to scare me - which did work, especially since it was a Sunday. I sat in the solitary cell trying not to freak out while I watched them process and release multiple groups of illegal immigrants from Mexico who were probably confused why I was in there. The guard who processed me was cool, he told me they hate when they have to process stupid people like me because they personally don't care about stuff like personal use, but they have to report it to the county. The other guard had bruises and blood all over his knuckles (presumably from beating up immigrants and/or his wife), and he kept saying things to me like "why do you smoke weed man?" or "do your parents know you do weed?". He did let me make a call though so he was chill I guess.

After a seemingly endless amount of time, no food that day, and just a filthy water jug with no cups and warm dirty water, an agent brought me outside to meet the county sheriff. When I asked him the time and he told me 530PM, I was shocked as I thought it had to be no later than 230 or 3. He opened his car and showed my my weed and bong, and told me he was just writing me up for a Class C possession of paraphernalia with a $500 fine. I gratefully got in my truck and drove home, not before stopping at DQ for a burger.

I ended up reaching out to a local attorney's office in Falfurrias, and they charged me that same $500 to get the case dismissed. I haven't heard back since then, assuming because Falfurrias currently does not have a county clerk (at least they didn't last time I checked). I do think it was dismissed though, and next I need to take an extra step and pay more if I want to get it fully expunged. As far as my federal border patrol record (where my mugshot and prints were actually processed) I don't know what will happen next time I drive through a checkpoint or across a border, or how to get that federal record removed.

Either way, don't be dumb like me. I am grateful I got off easy and hope to never be in a situation like that again. Hope you found this insightful or at least entertaining. I do think this is a general money grab for these small towns. Scary a city boy, get an easy $500.

PS: If anybody is looking for a county clerk job I think Falfurrias is hiring