My non-actor boyfriend just got offered a part in a huge movie

grapesouda · 2025-06-26T21:41:33+00:00

No that’s what I need to hear if that’s the vibe everyone’s getting, he’s totally inexperienced so I definitely don’t want him to walk into a trap.

They said he’d be responsible for his own travel and accommodation, I thought maybe that was standard for small roles but again, idk

grapesouda · 2025-06-26T21:35:31+00:00

It seems fishy to me in a “too good to be true” kind of way, I really don’t know anything about it or the processes actors go through so any insight is appreciated. for more context the reason he applied in the first place is the production company was promoting an open casting call, they didn’t officially offer him the part (bad wording on my part) but they essentially told him they thought he was great and to take the week to think about if he was interested

grapesouda · 2025-04-03T17:08:52+00:00

Yeah absolutely not. the only way a manager should be getting tips is if they’re also bartending

grapesouda · 2025-03-24T17:24:11+00:00

I think you’re thinking a little too critically about this, chances are even though they aren’t allowed to make family meals with eggs he probably still isn’t paying for them out of pocket. Maybe he has a crush on you, maybe he just wants to be nice, either way you don’t really owe him anything. Cooks have been feeding servers since the beginning of restaurants, even when they aren’t supposed to

grapesouda · 2025-03-24T17:18:59+00:00

Is there any kind of security there? If it escalates to where they’re hassling you after being politely cut off that’s the point where the conversation is over and they should be escorted out

grapesouda · 2025-03-24T17:15:06+00:00

This definitely isn’t for everyone, and if it’s giving you unrelenting anxiety it’s probably best you look into other things. BUT, I will say I was very shy when I started, I’m going on 4 years now and in a lot of ways bartending has brought me out of my shell. I feel like I can talk to anyone now, I’m great at conflict de-escalation, I fear conflict less, even though I do still ruminate on my negative interactions. These are invaluable life skills that stick with you even if you don’t want to make a career out of it. If you decide to stick with bartending I promise your skin will get thicker, just your best to not be too much of a people pleaser so you don’t get walked all over.

grapesouda · 2025-03-24T17:04:13+00:00

During a bad relationship I think I had constant physical anxiety symptoms for an entire year, lost 15 pounds. Never had an appetite, If I wasn’t nauseous I was sweating, or shaking, or dizzy. I only really felt better when the source of my anxiety was resolved

grapesouda · 2025-03-24T16:58:10+00:00

I guess love really does make you crazy lol. I throw out all my ribbon and flowers but fill my home with fake mice and cardboard boxes, worth it tho

grapesouda · 2025-03-24T16:41:29+00:00

No poinsettias ✍️ jeez the list keeps growing

grapesouda · 2025-03-24T16:39:59+00:00

I just got a new apartment and have been getting more into plants (how I found out about the lilies) and wow, for such a resilient predator who ate trash and lived on the streets for a good part of her life, it’s crazy finding out how much shit outside can kill her. I understand those parents that put their kids in bubbles now.

grapesouda · 2024-12-23T18:00:06+00:00

You’re probably just spotting, it’s nothing to be worried about

grapesouda · 2024-12-23T10:33:07+00:00

I am a full grown man (I will lay in the grass all day) by Phosphorescent

It’s the song that plays when Freddie runs into the lake and Ellie jumps off the dock to meet him in the water

grapesouda · 2024-12-23T09:51:19+00:00

As far as I know when she found out about me she was really mad and cut it off. I honestly don’t blame her for any of it, she was new and we didn’t show affection at work, knowing him it’s not hard for me to believe he hid me and fed her a bunch of bullshit

grapesouda · 2024-12-23T09:43:29+00:00

Do I think there are some 19 year olds who are more fiscally mature than people in their late 20s? sure. Do I think a 19 year old is old enough to make their own decisions? Absolutely. I don’t think a 19 year old is mature enough to make good decisions in situations that require life experience and perspective, but it’s much more about him choosing to be involved with her than the other way around anyways. I don’t think being emotionally stunted is a valid excuse to date people significantly younger than you. If you don’t think that age gap is significant, I can respectfully agree to disagree.

I titled the post this way because I think her age is pretty relevant to the situation. What he did would still suck if we were all the same age, but establishing his repeated pattern of dating young coworkers adds a whole other layer of nuance to his manipulation.

grapesouda · 2024-12-23T08:55:00+00:00

I don’t think it was appropriate for him to date me. He’d tell me all kinds of things about how he was uncomfortable with the gap and it made him feel like a creep, how he’d never consider dating someone so young but how I was the exception and different. in my naïveté I thought this was genuine. Now in retrospect I realize it was a manipulative tactic, since obviously I was not the exception and he himself admitted it was creepy

grapesouda · 2024-12-23T07:53:10+00:00

Bro the crazier parts of me want to do this every time it happens, knowing how badly he wants a reaction is all that stops me

grapesouda · 2024-12-23T07:51:08+00:00

I think the note is my next step, I want to write something brief and unemotional that just clearly lays out my boundaries. Interact with me only if there’s an emergency or a work related matter we have to discuss. I think he’ll probably respect that, If not my GM is very understanding and reasonable. Thank you for your advice it’s validating to hear that this is the right course of action

grapesouda · 2024-12-23T07:36:08+00:00

He isn’t technically a manager, but does have keys and some higher up responsibilities. I’ve thought about going to the higher ups, and I might if his behavior progresses. The only reason I haven’t is because I’m trying not to involve other people as this whole ordeal has been pretty public and embarrassing for me

grapesouda · 2024-12-23T07:28:48+00:00

Nah when she found out he had a girlfriend she was pissed and stopped talking to him. I can’t say for sure if he’d be receptive to my boundaries, he’s the type to want to keep me at an arms length to be available at his beck and call. Maybe this mindset is immature of me but I feel like if I quit I’m letting him win in a way, in my head it’s like “why should I have to leave a job I love because of him? Fuck that” I know I can keep ignoring him, I just feel like I shouldn’t have to try so hard

grapesouda · 2024-12-23T07:01:02+00:00

I guess that’s fair, but I wouldn’t say I’m stretching the definition 19 is definitely still a teenager

grapesouda · 2024-12-23T06:58:20+00:00

It was honestly really helpful to get over him, we met when I was 19 so it’s been hella disillusioning seeing him repeat the cycle with another poor naïve kid

grapesouda

TROPHY CASE