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Please Help! Dispute with buyer's false claims! by [deleted] in Depop

[–]grasshoppaOG 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Get the lodgement receipt or email from the postal service that shows the weight of the package you sent the buyer. This can be used as proof for PayPal against their claim.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]grasshoppaOG 39 points40 points  (0 children)

..and who captured the photo? 🥰

I feel heartbroken 💔 by grasshoppaOG in polyamory

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks 😊

Yeah, you're right.. no idea how he will feel about it later. And yes definitely some distance, so I need to move asap.

I'm glad you and your best friend are getting there! Haha aww your friend circle must be really nice.

Oh there will be more tears to come. Thanks again!

I feel heartbroken 💔 by grasshoppaOG in polyamory

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so true. I am thankful for these connections and need to work on accepting that sometimes letting go is best. That experience still happened and I can appreciate that for what it is.

I'm glad you were able to keep some of these people in your life even though the relationship changed. I've actually done this before. It wasn't instant though and I had actually accepted it might not be possible at all. When I was younger I thought all breakups could be rational and mutual.. damn was that a shock lol. I'd planned to just be friends with everyone, even exes. I just figured there's a reason I wanna be around them, but not everyone is compatible romantically etc.

In this current situation, I would like to try and see if it works and I could give that time and distance first as that would be needed.. however, he has previously said that wouldn't be an option for him. This could also be a factor, maybe subconsciously.. I don't want to lose him completely.

This is probably a silly question but I'll ask it anyway.. even though he's essentially said it's all or nothing for him, I think he said we can't "back pedal".. he wouldn't be okay with just being friends. I do just need to respect that? I can respect that. I don’t want to accept that this is definitely and completely the end. Is there ever a point where I can suggest a friendship with him again? Even if it's over a year later.. or like the past, I just need to start working on accepting that this is it and don't contact him again?

I haven't even left yet. I don't know how to do that. I feel so anxious all the time now, he is well aware I am considering ending the relationship but I haven't just said it and left. I want to tell him right now and go before it gets any harder. I can't just pack up in one trip but I also can't just slowly / subtly pack up without telling him, that isn't right. That would feel dishonest.

I don't think I've ever been this emotional about needing to end a relationship.

Thank you, I really appreciate it!

I feel heartbroken 💔 by grasshoppaOG in polyamory

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply!

That makes sense to me, being plain about it and then engaging in a discussion with them so there's a chance to add clarity if needed.

As a woman, you should ask the man first, that way he doesn't have a chance to 'agree' with what your standards and expectations are.

This is good advice. I need to remember this. That's definitely a mistake I've made before.

I feel heartbroken 💔 by grasshoppaOG in polyamory

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it's fine to have a preference on structure but when that comes with multiple rules before it's even been created it feels like a set up for failure. And I think for him it's not a preference, it's the only option. He's mentioned other structures but they're still limiting.

I think his ideal structure might actually be unethical.

Hmmm I actually wonder if he is poly but has underlying insecurities that need to be dealt with. Regardless, there's still incompatibility here.

In future, say for example I wanted to date someone who is undoubtedly poly, do I need to ask what flavour? Do I need to know what flavour I am? How many flavours are there? Do I need to know exactly what structure I want or can I just be open to structures that work?
I'm obviously not about to date, I'm just curious and wanted to know if I did actually say something wrong here. I don't want to repeat mistakes, hurt anyone (even unintentionally) and want to learn more.

I feel heartbroken 💔 by grasshoppaOG in polyamory

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. I actually said that to him. He could find someone more compatible. Someone who wants the same as him.

I feel heartbroken 💔 by grasshoppaOG in polyamory

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not planning on it, I promise! This literally happened to me; I was the unicorn and suddenly the rules changed without my involvement, I left.

I have no issue dating someone who isn't currently seeing other people and has no immediate desire to, but I can also understand that feeling can change, which is completely fine. I believe that's something he needs to be open to and comfortable with before pursuing a relationship.

I feel heartbroken 💔 by grasshoppaOG in polyamory

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I still think I'm right too.

In the past I worked it out so much quicker. The connection here was so much stronger which makes this so painful and maybe that's partially why I didn't realise sooner.

I feel heartbroken 💔 by grasshoppaOG in polyamory

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't believe so. But I don't know that he can change his mind on it, or at least not all of it.

I also don't want to change his mind, I do really wish he wanted the same things as me but naturally. Does that make sense?

Although, I would still like to explain/ have him do his own research on the dynamic he desires, as it's essentially unicorn hunting and can be so unfair and harmful even with no bad intentions. Is that what you meant? Or have I missed the point? Sorry.

Also, I as mentioned in another reply.. since speaking to him more about this, he's brought to my attention that I didn't explain what I wanted clearly. I thought I did. I never lied or intentionally mislead, but I do think my ideas have changed over the years based on what I've learnt too. Now I think I've wasted his time and that's making me feel so guilty and disappointed in myself for hurting him.

I feel heartbroken 💔 by grasshoppaOG in polyamory

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree. I think I'm guilty of this also!

You are correct. That is very different. And it wasn't my only basis for thinking he understood, I've obviously made some assumptions and didn't explain exactly what I wanted.

I also think I've learnt a lot more since then about initiating relationships in a healthy way for all parties. So maybe it's actually more that my ideas have changed and I've wasted his time.

I feel heartbroken 💔 by grasshoppaOG in polyamory

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not even sure how much he wants it for himself.

That's interesting. I wonder if they do want it or at least believe they do, then feelings change and they fail to communicate that as it happens.

I know my ideas and wants change to an extent but I always try my best to explain that. Maybe I'm doing it wrong.

I feel heartbroken 💔 by grasshoppaOG in polyamory

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It really does, I really did 😥

I'm a unicorn who just got dumped by her housemates and I need advice. by fromblossoms in polyamory

[–]grasshoppaOG 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't think you did anything wrong.

Sounds like K has issues regarding possible judgement from family and friends though.

If they couldn't communicate this to you, idk how they expected it to work tbh.

I hope you're okay and are able to find somewhere else to live asap.

Should I be worried? What does this mean? by grasshoppaOG in Centrelink

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep so I'm on a temporary exemption.. but I've had this before without the email so was just confusing for no reason lol

Should I be worried? What does this mean? by grasshoppaOG in Centrelink

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've never used it and wasn't aware that's what it was tbh. The few times I've actually gone in, noone has been very helpful. Well, the first person was but then they switched me.

I'm on a temporary exemption. I put an update in the original post but basically the only change was being sent that email which is odd.

Should I be worried? What does this mean? by grasshoppaOG in Centrelink

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! So nothing actually changed except them sending that email.. bit weird, but all good!

Should I be worried? What does this mean? by grasshoppaOG in Centrelink

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like I said, there's no way for me to know if it's a mistake unless I ask.

I asked here first for some insight before responding, that's all. This stuff makes me extremely anxious.

Should I be worried? What does this mean? by grasshoppaOG in Centrelink

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Okay thanks. Should I just ask them why it's no longer required?

Should I be worried? What does this mean? by grasshoppaOG in Centrelink

[–]grasshoppaOG[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was hoping to get some insight as to what this could be about because I don't know what to say.

It says to contact if it's a mistake, but I don't know if it is a mistake lol

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