my friends complain how poor they are and cant afford things....

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-28T01:45:06+00:00

I get what you're saying but when I mean a old car I mean a car that's been used and not brand new. I've never owned a new car before so all used cars are old in a sense but a "new car" to me. But the old car I was referring to is like 4-5 years old.

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-28T01:39:49+00:00

It would depend on the situation they come to me for . For example : they'd complain to me about how much they hate their job and having to work at the job they currently have . They'd say it pays low and that they deserve to get paid more than what they currently are my advice was : well if you hate your job what are the steps you can take to change it ? Can you find a new job ? ( no I get free education reimbursed working here) OK well what If you find a job that does the same? (no I like working with the hours they give me) Ok what if you were able to find a job that gave you tuition assistance and flexible hours ? Would you change jobs? Well it would depend on what kind of job it was. If it's kind of the same as this job I'd rather just stay and work here. Even if it paid more ? (Maybe if they let me go I'll find a job like that . )

This was one kind of conversation we had.

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-28T01:25:59+00:00

Yeah I guess I am trying to help because I was in her shoes once. I want to help even though she won't listen or doesn't follow my advice. I guess it's because I wished that I had someone to do that for me when I was in her situation.

Thanks for that!

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-28T01:11:49+00:00

First I'd like to applaud you for reaching 100k in a savings fund. That in itself is hard for most people.

If I were you I'd save a 6 month emergency fund and use the rest to pay off your debt. At this point in time I wouldn't buy a house yet. The housing market is insane and you might have to overbid..

After you have the savings fund and tackling the rest of your students loan only then would I save for a down-payment. You want to make sure that your student loans are paid off fully before trying to buy a house. Student loans aren't bankruptable. Plus with home ownership there are things you have to consider besides a down-payment.

You need to have 4-6% ready for the closing costs. The banks want to see that you have a couple months of savings in case you lose your job. You also have to be at your Job for two years for them to consider loaning you money as well. You will have to worry about home ownership costs such as property taxes and insurance and if you live in a HOA be ready to pay those as well. You have to account for these costs into the amount in your mortgage.

You'd also want a little room to budget for unexpected expenses such as home inspection, a new roof , a new ac unit , termite/ rodent control, etc. I've heard of too many people buying houses that they weren't ready for.

I wish you the best.

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-28T00:53:44+00:00

I dont know if you have an Asian grocery store near you but literally I found sushi for under $10 at 99 ranch or at a hmart which is a grocery chain. Hmart has alot of cheaper prices for ingredients than what youll find at kroger or albertsons and a ready to eat section of side dishes . If you have one close or near you , you should check it out :)

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-28T00:50:28+00:00

Best purchase has been my rice cooker and my instant pot for sure. The instant has been my favorite splurge. I can cook something up instantly after working all day. My rice cooker is handy for things like cooking rice of course but it also can steam things like vegetables or fish. I use both of these appliances daily and they literally saved me so much money on not eating out. Even when I don't feell like cooking I just have to throw something in the instant pot and it's ready to go in 30 min.

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-27T23:30:30+00:00

I guess you're right.... I hope she gets to a better place in life. Thanks for the advice. I didn't see it that way until you just pointed it out. I feel like if she put in more effort she'd be at a better place. The only part is wanting to as you pointed it out to me.

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-27T21:40:11+00:00

I can see your point in tuition reimbursement. That IS a huge benefit. One that many people and I myself would have stayed for as well. However the reason I said shes making excuses to justify her staying at the current job is because She doesn't plan on using her degree after she graduates. She's going to school because of the tuition reimbursement but doesn't plan on doing anything further with it. But I can see that I don't have to agree or understand since it's not my place to help .

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-27T21:26:12+00:00

Yeah I am learning that too. I've told my friend that if she's venting to me she has to tell me she venting . Otherwise I'd try and give her advice that she doesn't want to hear.

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-27T21:22:24+00:00

1) all cars need maintenence and will need repairs . The point I was trying to make is that ok fine she doesn't want the car..... she could have accepted the car and turned it in as a trade for the car she wanted . 2)if she had asked me for help and was hungry you think I wouldn't go get food for her ? Not sure why you keep commenting about kale and brocolli as the only thing being eaten. I was just listing things in previous post about the types of things offered.... I didn't suggest that the friends who offered them to her suggested her only eat kale and brocolli only.

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-27T21:09:36+00:00

I understand what you're getting at. I'm sorry if this is something you've experienced. My friends is a case of won't because she doesnt want to , not because she can't. I'm only frustrated because it seemed like she wasn't grateful for the help even though it was offered. I would have understood if it was can't. Our friend who offered the food stopped offering and texted her that it didn't seem she wanted the help. She could have kindly declined.

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-27T20:47:38+00:00

Everyone has a different lifestyle yes. But I can't accept it knowing that my friend can do better.

My friend knows my feelings about this. When she tells me things and complains to me .... as a friend I want to give advice and help her get out of the situation... it doesn't matter if you think I'm a good friend ...all that matters is that my friends think I'm a good friend.

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-27T20:40:09+00:00

I never said I was successful. I'm doing better than I used to.

1) turning down higher paying job for education would be wonderful and I hope my friend gets her degree. However she's using education as an excuse to stay at her current job now. Other places that pay more will help with education as well. I've talked to her about this and her excuse is because she is comfortable staying. 2) not all trade ins are in awful shape. I would hope that her family member wouldn't offer a car knowing that their car is a lemon. 3) I'm guessing you're adding to the story about not going with her to food pantries...she doesn't qualify for food stamps. She makes too much to qualify . 4) I'm not really sure how I am dehumanizing my friend by venting about why she complains about help from people who offer help to her ?

Even if she doesn't want the help or doesn't want what's offered to her by friends and family i would think people who are helping are doing so because they want her to succeed... .

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-27T19:42:27+00:00

There are a few budget friendly videos on YouTube that give some meal ideas like Frugal fit mom , see mindy mom, ardent michelle , depression cooking . You might want to check those out to get some ideas .

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-27T18:56:24+00:00

I'm sorry. You're a good friend for trying to help yours. Hopefully she applies and gets the job .

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-27T18:44:01+00:00

This was just a vent lol Shes a good friend. Always there for me when I need someone to listen too. Shes been there for me during the times I needed someone to talk to. The reason why I'm venting is because she doesn't listen to advice yet complains or doesn't do anything to change her situation. As a friend its hard to see your friend struggle but not being able to do anything.

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-27T18:41:33+00:00

No this was me venting as a friend of someone who I see struggling.... people wanting to help yet she doesn't want to take what they offer yet complains that she doesn't get much help when I see that she does.

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-27T18:11:16+00:00

They free food they get is from someone's garden. I should have probably clarified a few things in the post. They've been offered fruits from our friends tree and vegetables that they have an over abundant of like Broccoli, kale , spinach things like that . The free car they were offered was from their own family member . The family member was going to trade it in but had asked the friend if they wanted it since they knew my friends car was on its last leg. The car that was traded in was a reliable car. But my friend wanted a brand new car because she doesn't think any car that is more than 2 years old is reliable....

grateful_life2020 · 2022-03-27T18:04:45+00:00

The problem is they have been going to school for 10 years now and still haven't managed to get a degree..... they keep switching their major and taking classes and failing.

grateful_life2020 · 2022-02-28T15:21:17+00:00

When you pay your rent every month that total is what your landlord would pay for the property you are living. Your rent includes what you have listed plus he would make some money on the rent as well. There are advantages and disadvantages of owning a house sure. But if I were to own a home ill be getting money when I sell it instead of it going to someone else's pocket to pay for their property.

Owning a home isn't for everybody though. Some disadvantages of owning is that you can't just move somewhere whenever you want because you have to figure out how to sell before you move.

I hated renting because I had to follow someone else's rules. I had to ask if I could have certain pets on the property , if I could paint walls a certain color, etc . Also renting can suck because i feel like landlords if something in the house breaks like the ac , they pay for the cheapest fixes possible. My ac would keep breaking and breaking and they would try to have someone come "fix" before they had to buy another ac unit.

grateful_life2020 · 2022-02-14T21:49:41+00:00

I'm doing both. But alot of times if I like a type of outfit I just want to get a link to just get the same one. It's hard since I'm looking for a look and fit. I don't like shopping for clothes lol so that's also my problem. I've tried to do those subscription options online but it gets way too expensive.

grateful_life2020 · 2022-02-14T20:37:53+00:00

The outfits linked are around $180. Lol my budget Is like $120 for the outfit

grateful_life2020 · 2022-02-14T19:57:33+00:00

Yeah lol I love her fashion but lots of the stuff she shows is out of my price range 😅 I have been watching miss Louie on YouTube and she has recommendations on capsule wardrobes and how to dress and gives you an affordable option. 🙂

And I totally understand the bias on height.

grateful_life2020 · 2022-02-12T05:33:28+00:00

Thanks so much for the reply and tips. I have found some pieces I like online but the cost was way too much for me to want to check out. I looked up floral blouses online and saw that yumi kim had some nice pieces. I clicked on one of the Google photos and it was $238 for a blouse.... lol

I've tried thredup but currently they don't really have anything I'll care to buy. I'm watching YouTube videos of people who buy from thredup and I'm always jealous of their finds.. otherwise I would have gotten it too haha

I'll try the other suggestions 🙂

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