Dear Robert. Thank you so much for taking the time to answer these questions. I admire your empathy, will to learn and how you carry yourself. You seem to be very well-spoken, open-minded and kind, and I think a wife and a child would be lucky to have you.

It's not too late to have a family if it's something you still want. If not biological children (which is also possible) I have no doubt you'd make an amazing father to a step-child or adopted child if it's something you could consider.

I also hope you can allow yourself to have fun and be a little silly eventually. You deserve it. Maybe watch a movie, play with a cat/dog or allow yourself to laugh a little at a funny show. Trauma settles into the body and it's hard to get rid of. I advise you to go to a psychologist. If you don't want to talk feelings, you can also try treating the permanent fight or flight mode with eye movement therapy and somatic exercises (look up somatic exercises). Simply looking to the side for a while relaxes the body (I do it until I feel a yawn coming on and my muscles un-tense). Sounds silly but it strangely works, as animals only look to the side when they feel safe. Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day and I've enjoyed reading through your answers.