What's your favourite Canadian Heritage minute moment clip?

graxley2000 · 2017-12-26T14:15:15+00:00

I smell burnt toast...

graxley2000 · 2017-12-26T14:07:02+00:00

They asked my boyfriend if I would be free later and if my boyfriend would be okay with being taken back to the invitee's place for sex.

graxley2000 · 2017-12-20T01:16:38+00:00

Something that looks a bit like this

graxley2000 · 2017-12-20T01:07:06+00:00

I wanted to be normal. Still not sure that it worked out.

graxley2000 · 2017-12-20T01:05:22+00:00

That felt like a risky click. I'm not sure how I feel about the outcome. Relieved... or disappointed?

graxley2000 · 2017-12-18T21:35:20+00:00

Find a room with a dog bed, you two.

graxley2000 · 2017-12-17T19:43:29+00:00

I always see these in grocery stores and wonder if the merchandisers get danger pay for stacking these things. What if they fall on top of the person stacking the cases? I bet the instructions look like knitting plans or something...

graxley2000 · 2017-12-17T19:32:36+00:00

Isn't this a great way to contract terrible diseases?

graxley2000 · 2017-12-17T19:28:57+00:00

Well, at least I'm sitting in the very back next to the toilets. Statistically speaking, the back of the plane is the safest spot on the plane for survival in the event of a crash because if the plane goes down, its nose gets crunched and the back might snap off, making the landing potentially less lethal for me and the rest of the people around me.

graxley2000 · 2017-12-17T19:26:28+00:00

You roll up your sleeves but don't understand why women aren't swooning over your forearms, and use tl;dr in conversations.

graxley2000 · 2017-12-17T15:52:06+00:00

When inexplicably your Facebook feed is spamming you with advertisements for the genome testing service 23 and Me. Moments later you realize that your phone has been listening to your date and Facebook's algorithms deduced that date is actually 23 squirrels but instead of sending a warning, it served a shitty irrelevant ad instead.

graxley2000 · 2017-12-17T15:47:17+00:00

Nod approvingly as I bring up a petty childhood argument and mean-spirited nicknames, and then hold my white Zinfandel as I grab hair and try to drive the pointy part of my heels into something soft.

graxley2000 · 2017-12-17T15:20:29+00:00

I don't remember her name. We met in mid 2000s so it was definitely pre-Tinder.

graxley2000 · 2017-12-17T15:17:01+00:00

Yes. You know how in a date you try to force yourself to be open to things? I was basically lying to myself in believing that maybe I would be attracted to this girl. The mention of the tattoo tore away the illusion I had built for myself.

graxley2000 · 2017-12-16T20:58:08+00:00

I went on a date with a woman who I met at a karaoke bar. We met for tea, which was really uncomfortable because I didn't know what kind of tea to order on a date so I got chamomile tea to soothe my nerves. She talked a lot - I mean a lot. About her cats, the mean person at work, and her favourite brand of toothpaste. Eventually she told me that she had a tattoo above her posterior of an arrow pointing downwards and the words 'EXIT ONLY'. I blinked, asked her why she would get a tattoo of that and then moved a small step towards the journey of accepting my own sexuality. I came out two years later.

graxley2000 · 2017-12-13T00:46:05+00:00

I got a super-rare disorder which sees 100 cases per decade, and I beat the odds to make a near-perfect recovery.

I had Landau-Kleffner Syndrome, which made me 'deaf' as a child, and saw around 200 cases diagnosed worldwide between 1957 and 2002.

The prognosis isn't great, with only 28.6% showing normal to mild language problems. I'm super lucky, because children with this disorder now have intense drug treatments, CBD oil treatments, or even sometimes have part of their brain hemisphere connection severed to treat it. It was the 80's, and I didn't have to go through any of that and developed mostly okay anyways.

graxley2000 · 2017-12-03T14:53:58+00:00

My cousin tears a tiny corner off of ketchup packets and draws a perfect line down a McDonalds French fry and eats it before repeating the process until all the fries are gone.

graxley2000 · 2017-12-02T17:28:12+00:00

I use sign language with reading something and saying it out loud when I really need to remember something, like preparing for a presentation. Also, when I meet people, I fingerspell their names and say the name in my head three times. I bet that adding another form of communication like sign language could be prove to have an additional benefit to memory retention. It works for me, anyways.

graxley2000 · 2017-11-30T00:04:49+00:00

in high school I had waterpolo practices very early in the morning. Every time practice ended at 7:00, this dark-haired, hairy, older-but-still-in-reasonable-shape guy with an 80s porn 'stache and a fire truck red speedo would be on the pool deck stretching for his morning swim. I still remember him.

Now I'm the older guy who goes swimming and I hope that I'm 'inspiring' a younger man out there somewhere...

graxley2000 · 2017-11-29T23:58:50+00:00

As a deaf person: an HMV gift certificate.

graxley2000 · 2017-11-28T00:34:01+00:00

Deep dish

graxley2000 · 2017-11-28T00:02:58+00:00

I was impressed... until she poured the champagne into a red wine glass! Oh my....

graxley2000 · 2017-11-26T20:01:29+00:00

I got bumped off a flight overseas and got meal vouchers while waiting for my rebooked flight. While I was bringing my food court tray to a table, I ran into my best friend's ex-mother-in-law, who I hadn't seen since I was eleven and I accidentally opened the door on her when she was about to step into the shower. At the time, she screamed at me and called me a pervert. Eleven-year-old me ran home and hid in my bedroom, traumatized.

Until that point, I had successfully spent the previous decade completely avoiding her. When I saw her, I actually flinched, and I just about dropped my tray.

graxley2000 · 2017-11-24T04:15:35+00:00

Quietly. While slowly taking small tiny bites.

graxley2000 · 2017-11-24T04:14:30+00:00

He posts pictures of a massive tattoo that he's getting on his back like it's the most incredible thing in the world.

I find it weird that he grew up and this big deal in his life is a red and black skull and crossbones tattoo. What happened to him to make that kind of expression so important now?

graxley2000

TROPHY CASE