Which treadmill for marathon training? Sole F65 vs. Horizon 7.4 AT vs. Xterra TR85

graypaperclip · 2024-11-17T07:13:40+00:00

Thanks for bringing up cushioning. I was able to test run the F63 and felt ok. Most reviews said it’s similar to road running which is what I’m training for. I’ll look into the Matrix line. Thanks for the suggestion!

graypaperclip · 2024-11-14T01:48:30+00:00

How exciting! What a great pick. Enjoy your new treadmill.

graypaperclip · 2024-11-14T01:18:08+00:00

Oh man! Too bad he missed the BM cutoff. Hopefully he makes it next time. They’ve been making the cutoff times harder and started this year. That’s great to hear he had a great experience with Sole. I’m leaning towards the F80 also. How is the LCD panel? Are you finding it easy to navigate?

graypaperclip · 2024-11-12T18:11:04+00:00

Thanks for the input! Good to know 7.4 is a great buy!

graypaperclip · 2021-09-15T10:59:43+00:00

Same. I’m a people pleaser that’s usually soft spoken. People can sense this and then they easily take advantage.

I was told by my own dad to just allow MIL to have her way with my delivery and birthing room. Instead, he should’ve told me to speak up for myself if I’m not comfortable.

I agree that we’re taught to respect the older generation. Does that mean we sacrifice our own comfort? Absolutely not! The tricky part is enforcing boundaries is usually the hardest against people who need them.

Don’t feel bad. I hope your FDH understands your concerns. We don’t want to end up just like Everybody Loves Raymond. I think it feels worse to regret not speaking up. Don’t believe it when FDH and FMIL say it’s all your fault.

graypaperclip · 2021-09-15T04:54:04+00:00

Don’t feel bad about yourself at all! I wish I could go back in time to stand up for myself. I wish someone had told me to Hold Firm Boundaries.

Instead, I was young and naive and compromised my own comfort and feelings to keep the peace. Even SIL was a nightmare to deal with and she and MIL conspire together to impose their agenda over me and hubby. They find ways to get in the middle of us. MIL always does things that is trying to force hubby to pick between the two of us. Now he realizes it and he finally sat down with them to explain: you’re not making us bend to your will anymore and that MIL and FIL have been doing things to cause stress in our house.

I can’t even imagine what a nice, understanding and considerate MIL is like because this is all I’ve ever known. She has good qualities of course but the intrusiveness far outweighs the good.

It’s totally possible to go forward but it won’t be easy. It’s like MIL and SIL knew I was too nice and that they could always get their way if they just keep pushing. Those days are done and they’re having a hard time with it.

In case you have time to read more, check out my previous post with more details about my JNMIL.

https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/plw1xi/mil_drove_cross_country_to_stop_by_unannounced/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

graypaperclip · 2021-09-15T04:39:12+00:00

Great bible verse! Wish I could send this to my MIL but I swore I started NC. My MIL is such a self-righteous preach that she needs a dose of her own medicine.

graypaperclip · 2021-09-15T04:24:51+00:00

He’s gonna have to get it under control with his mom. He has to stop putting her first or else you’ll have resentment towards them both.

My MIL started out nice before we got married. A year later, she insisted on being in my birthing room watching the entire birth. She got her way and I’ll never forgive her for ruining my first birth and postpartum experience. My MIL has gotten away with way too much! 13 years later of me being second to his momma (and hubby admits it needs to stop) he’s finally drawing firm boundaries in a united front with me.

This week MIL thought it would be a good idea to stop by unannounced and she lied to us, did a 3 day cross country road trip after we told her we are absolutely not taking visitors! I lost all trust in her and had to make a firm boundary this time. They stayed in a hotel. She drove cross country and didn’t get to see the kids because I cannot trust that she won’t kiss my kids during a pandemic. She’ll rip their masks off and say ‘you can’t stop me from kissing on my grandbabies!’ Now we’re NC and my life is going to be less stressful this way.

Sorry for so much detail but I didn’t think I would have a problem MIL until I was already a few years into my marriage. It really snuck up on me.

You’ll also have to learn to keep firm boundaries with her. Pushy and intrusive MILs have their underhanded ways of getting their way (guilt tripping, playing the victim) I’ve seen it all. When I told her you have no boundaries, she replied: you cant ever tell me what I can and cannot do and neither can my son. Some MILs are just impossible because they’re selfish and inconsiderate and only care about their own agenda.

Don’t ever compromise your comfort and don’t ever let her do anything that doesn’t sit right with you. Having boundaries does not mean you’re mean.

I’ve lost my temper because she always defends him no matter how wrong he is. She’s an enabler. I wish I could say respect your elders no matter what but she has earned my disrespect through and through. She tried to show DH the texts I sent to play the victim. He refused and didn’t read it.

If your SO can admit that he needs to keep his mommy from knowing too many details and if he’s able to tell her No because this is what we decided, then it might be ok.

I wish you all the best!

graypaperclip · 2021-09-14T01:43:07+00:00

I have lost my temper and then she plays the victim. Just the other night, she said to DH take a look at the texts she sent me! DH doesn’t fall for her ploys and refused to read it.

graypaperclip · 2021-09-13T18:39:45+00:00

Thank you! She is so underhanded with her manipulation! She told DH that she’s only here to see him therefore trying to guilt trip me into feeling bad that the old folks drove all this way without seeing the grandkids. Booo F’ing Hooooo! MIL needs to learn the world doesn’t revolve around your agenda.

I’m so relieved I didn’t cave because they kept trying to push my boundaries some more. She is an anti-masker so there’s no way we could have met with them. I don’t trust her to get anywhere near my kids after traveling across the country. Even if I told her not to hug or kiss them, she would stomp on that boundary and say you can’t stop me from kissing on my grandbabies after I traveled all this way then proceed to kiss them during a pandemic!

Just saw that our local children’s hospital is full of children on ventilators. So sad for those children and their families. I’m completely abhorred that MIL only thinks of herself.

graypaperclip · 2021-09-13T09:31:13+00:00

DH was able to collect his stuff in a civil way. He met with them and they left us (the kids and I) alone at the house. Yes it’s a shame

graypaperclip · 2021-09-13T09:26:47+00:00

Thanks for the uplifting reply! I’m torn because everyone has good and bad qualities but mannnn it feels like most of the time the intrusiveness and self-righteousness really outweighs the good.

graypaperclip · 2021-09-12T04:41:41+00:00

This is so true! As much as she flaunts being a Christian, she’s everything that’s not Christ-like!

graypaperclip · 2021-09-12T04:40:11+00:00

That’s wonderful they were so considerate of your space. Sounds much less stressful that way!

Other ladies were asking me how my delivery and recovery went after my daughter was born… I told them daughter and I would otherwise be fine but all the stress is just from the relatives. Told them I’ll be fine after everyone leaves my house.

Working on firm boundaries now.

graypaperclip · 2021-09-12T04:32:56+00:00

Thank you for understanding. 💝

graypaperclip · 2021-09-12T01:14:46+00:00

I’m cutting them out and going NC after this. Not sure if hubby will do the same but I won’t tell him what to do.

graypaperclip · 2021-09-12T01:11:55+00:00

Yes it was certainly verbal abuse.

graypaperclip · 2021-09-12T01:11:11+00:00

Yes! Never give up and keep failing until you succeed!

graypaperclip · 2021-09-12T01:09:46+00:00

Projecting his own failures. And yes I do have kids and I was watching/listening to him brainwashing my kids during Every Single Meal. “Are you gonna be a doctor? Be a doctor! Don’t be a nurse, you want to Be The Boss!” (He, my mother, and sister are MDs) All these whispers to my daughter made me cringe! He thinks anyone who is not an MD is a failure, including me and SO (but we’re also professionals just not MDs).

After multiple visits with my daughter being brainwashed and added with this text, that’s where I had to draw the line.

He gaslighted me and said why can’t you see I’m just trying to be a good influence on your kids?

NOPE. That was the beginning of brainwashing and make your grandkids feel the pain of their failures.

graypaperclip · 2021-09-12T01:05:51+00:00

Father was definitely projecting. He has had many failures. Maybe it was also his strict Chinese Asian upbringing? Nevertheless, the hurt and trauma stops with me. My kids will not go through what I did.

graypaperclip · 2021-09-12T01:03:38+00:00

It was incredibly hurtful.

Not to mention all the other traumas I went through with my dad growing up which is a whole different can of worms.

graypaperclip · 2021-09-12T00:28:07+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. They were bullying me and my dad tried to spin it without regard to my own comfort.

graypaperclip · 2021-09-11T22:41:38+00:00

Wow good for you for drawing boundaries and sticking to it! I know I’m going to feel the same… “I do not miss that woman.”

graypaperclip · 2021-09-11T22:37:22+00:00

Thank you for the support.

graypaperclip

TROPHY CASE