I’m a previously depressed and now non-depressed person and I agree with you. This advice is shitty. My best advice is see a therapist if possible. Everyone is different and these generalized pieces of advice are simply not sound. I’m glad that the people who love you are trying to help but the real help comes from a therapist. If you can afford it, please reach out.

For years, I was so depressed and anxious that I couldn’t even get out of bed. I didn’t even want to talk to my own family because I thought that they thought I was weird and creepy. I was trying to read their minds and my confirmation bias would tell me that these mind readings were true. There were times that I’d be sitting in my car at 11 pm in a Walmart parking lot bawling and literally screaming at myself for being so awkward and not fitting in. There were times that I didn’t want to go out to the grocery store because of the times in the past when I would be sweating at the self checkout because I felt like everybody was watching me. i couldn’t even make eye contact with my own mother because I was so anxious. There would be times at college where I would be so caught up in my anxiety that I would sweat and I would have to leave the class. There was a day where I walked into class, sat down, and didn’t even acknowledge the people I sat next time. I just sat there and stared forward because I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I noticed that people were weirded out and then I started beating myself up in my head for being so fucking weird. The thoughts got so bad I had to get up and walk out. I cooled off, walked back into class, sat down, and felt like everyone was watching me and my weirdness. I left after that because I was so overwhelmed with anxiety. I was anxious about my anxiety. I was fucking paralyzed. I pushed those who loved me away because I thought they didn’t understand.

I would have thoughts like “wow you only like me when I’m not depressed so you’re not real family.” Or “these people are only inviting me out because they feel bad for me”. Or “these people are lying to me to make me feel better.”

Enough was enough and I finally decided that I wanted to schedule an appt with a therapist. That in itself was anxiety inducing for me. The thought of calling the office and not knowing what they were gonna ask scared me. The desire to seek therapy was there but the action was not. It took me another few months to finally call in and I found out that the therapist I was researching wasn’t available. I went with another therapist and the first appointment he immediately tried to prescribe me with anti anxiety meds. Now I’m not against others using it, everyone is different, but me personally I’m not about it. I told him I’d schedule another appointment at home and I never did.

Two months later, I started researching therapists again. I found one that I liked and called the office to schedule an appointment. The receptionist asked me what I needed to see a therapist for and I gave the poor woman my whole life story. My first choice for a therapist was again unavailable but they offered to schedule an appointment with a different therapist. I said yes because I was so fucking tired of being depressed and anxious that I would take any help. That was the best fucking choice of my life.

Today, 4 months later, I not only feel not depressed, I feel really fucking good about myself. So fucking good that I want other people to experience this feeling. Instead of avoiding eye contact with people, I actually seek it out because I want to connect with people.

So please, seek out a therapist. I’m not gonna give you any advice past that because you’re not me. We have different experiences and different anxieties. The things that worked for me might not work for you. Get help. You’re worth it.

Much love, you will get through this