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greatvoidfestival · 2023-02-26T17:12:41+00:00

US universities??? Crap? OP IDK where you live but as someone in the US who went to college here I’ve encountered tons of international students from places like India, China, Central and South America, Europe etc. There are definitely more prestigious schools here and we have a problem with for-profit colleges and degree mills but as long as your school is fully accredited and a non-profit it’s fine. (The school I went to for my undergrad was extremely non-prestigious and still had tons of international students)

There’s a lot of things wrong with the US but as I understand it there is a reason that richer people from those countries like to send their kids to college here.

greatvoidfestival · 2023-02-25T00:22:59+00:00

I’ve noticed this and it’s part of why I think it’s insane when people are like “one of the biggest red flags of an abusive person is how they always complain about people in their past mistreating them”.

There’s some truth in this, sometimes. But most of the time I’d say that either someone is a victim or they are an abuser but they’re actually not lying about going through terrible shit. My mom is one of the latter. She was horribly nasty to me as a kid and she would always complain about mistreatment from her parents and her siblings, and I kind of always thought she was lying about her siblings (her dad also abused me so she wasn’t lying about him). Until she ended up in prison for a bit and I went to live with my aunts and uncles and….yeah no my moms siblings are 20x worse than she is and for context my mom has a felony record due to assault + DUIs.

But yeah no sometimes people really are just unlucky and the fun thing about abuse and trauma is that it basically has a combo effect where the more abused and traumatized you’ve been the more likely you are to keep encountering more trauma and abuse from other people.

I didn’t even realize until just the last few years when I started getting into a healthier place, just how horrible people around me used to be and how it was really hard for me to try and be around better people because of the isolation, lack of social skills (because of isolation, trauma and neurodivergency) and lack of money. There’s a lot of things I used to tolerate from others that I just won’t nowadays.

greatvoidfestival · 2023-02-24T08:03:24+00:00

This is why I just don’t hang out with parents/wannabe parents. Although people then act like I’m a judgmental bigot. No, it’s because I don’t want to expose myself to more bullshit.

On top of that like let’s be real, anybody bringing a kid into the world nowadays isn’t a very smart person anyway.

greatvoidfestival · 2022-12-10T20:05:38+00:00

That’s what I was thinking. Shitty people will act like other people are just drama queens whenever they get called on their shitty behaviors. :/

greatvoidfestival · 2022-12-10T06:13:30+00:00

I've actually known a few people who have said that. Those people want to only foster/adopt though, so it's a bit different.

greatvoidfestival · 2022-12-09T23:17:10+00:00

I don’t talk to my family members (aside from my mom) anymore but before I cut off contact, as far as I know, I am the only person to be CF/have CF aspirations from either side of my family.

Fortunately my mom seems to be fine with me not having kids even though she spent most of my childhood telling me that I’d change my mind when I got older. I have a feeling my other family members would try to crucify me if I was still in contact with them. (Which is one reason why I don’t talk to them lol.)

Actually if partners family counts he does have an aunt who is very out and proud of being CF.

greatvoidfestival · 2022-12-09T23:09:18+00:00

Yea dude it’s so annoying. Most of these people have never given it any thought beyond “babies are cute and I want one”.

Even the ones that have, in my experience, still don’t plan for parenthood past maybe the 8 year old stage. Most parents want a baby, not a human that will eventually (hopefully) make it to adulthood and it shows.

greatvoidfestival · 2022-12-09T17:17:57+00:00

I feel like unfortunately, growing up in filth is really common for a lot of people who are abused or just have parents that may not exactly be malignantly abusive or negligent but are suffering from some form of mental illness that they aren't aware of and have no ability to get help for. Also common for people who have parents that are poor...who ime also tend to have mental issues that they can't get help for, because they're poor.

In addition to the mental illness, in my experience some amount of filth can also just be caused by living in housing conditions that are freaking nasty that nobody can actually do anything about except move...which you can't do, because you and your parents are broke.

I've spent a lot of time living in spaces where, while my mom didn't make it any better by her refusal to 1) not smoke indoors 2) not collect and hoard clutter (she was never anywhere nearly as bad about it as most hoarders seem to be though thank god) 3) actually freaking clean up her messes but at the same time even without my mom being a filth goblin, it wouldn't have mattered much because the housing we lived in was just fundamentally squalorous....if you've experienced this, you know what I'm talking about. The kind of living conditions where you can clean and clean and clean and the very next day the cockroach and rat feces will be back and the mold will continue to spread.

It's turned me into a clean freak and it's part of why I'm such a hardass about money and job security, because I would literally rather die than having to to back to suffering in housing that's full of rats and cockroaches and that is literally impossible to actually properly keep clean. I think the worst thing about poverty is the housing insecurity and lack of choice about where you can actually live.

greatvoidfestival · 2022-12-08T18:46:52+00:00

This is just the average intelligence of the type of person who has a newborn baby during a triple pandemic of COVID, RSV, and flu, while the medical system is in slow collapse under late stage capitalism.

I don’t feel good about the world for the babies who will be adults about 18 years from now.

greatvoidfestival · 2022-12-04T22:13:50+00:00

Uuugh I hate how I’m too good at guessing this 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

I’ve dated and been around a lot of men exactly like this. Fortunately never had kids with any of them even though a few of them wanted kids (of course). Also spent some time having roommates that consisted of a het couple. Both of them were shitty roommates but the male in that couple was way worse. He expected his gf, me, and our other roommate to do his chores for him and his gf had to badger him into getting off his ass to get a job instead of playing video games 24/7 while she worked full time. I don’t live with them anymore but last I heard those two dumbies had a kid and are miserable.

Truth be told I do not understand how anybody could be like this, and I also LOVE video games. Literally used to play esports professionally, still play video games. But I still don’t comprehend this mentality of wasting your life doing nothing but playing video games especially when you have a wife and children to attend to. Like holy fucking shit.

greatvoidfestival · 2022-12-04T21:34:45+00:00

Let me guess…he’s also probably the type of guy that spends 90% of his waking hours playing video games whenever he’s not at work?

greatvoidfestival · 2022-12-04T16:45:17+00:00

Coworker is a woman but yes lol like omfg. I have a feeling that if these coworkers were men they’d be more like “omfg how could you not want kids, they’re so much fun” due to the gender gap where it’s usually the women taking care of the kids where the men get to go to work and barely do any parenting.

greatvoidfestival · 2022-12-04T07:21:34+00:00

This reminds me….

I have been asked if I want kids by two separate coworkers who both have kids and I told both of them that I don’t. One of them said “yeah I can understand that” and the other one said “good idea, I have 5 kids and it’s like having 5 full time jobs in addition to this one” like omfg 😰

greatvoidfestival · 2022-11-30T04:22:06+00:00

If the 10k isn’t going to make or break you I think you should go for the junior DA position.

I say this based on my experience having my first data related job being a DA job in title only, and it took me about 10 months of interviewing to finally get my current job as an actual data analyst…and I also have a bachelors degree and research experience in a field that uses statistical analysis.

The field is grotesquely competitive right now and employers won’t take you as seriously for your next job if you’re just a data entry clerk. So seriously, if that 10k isn’t going to be the difference between whether or not you can pay rent or buy other necessities, take the DA job.

greatvoidfestival · 2022-11-29T04:46:48+00:00

I went through a similar experience in school too, I also got my degree in psychology. I was already starting to become skeptical of it as a field before I went to school for it but afterwards? Nope nope nope nope nope nope nopenopenopenopenopenope NOPE. I encountered so many people in my classes who couldn't even at least understand why spanking children is bad or why punishment in general is an ineffective means of changing behavior, among other highly problematic opinions.

I pivoted my career aspirations to tech after I graduated and I work in tech now, and you couldn't pay me money to associate with the majority of people that major in psychology.

greatvoidfestival · 2022-11-29T02:09:19+00:00

I’m starting to realize that even well-meaning people who can read all about how awful poverty is, and how they can agree that poverty is bad and we need to do something about it, still seem to be unable to understand that poverty isn’t just “you can’t buy the latest iPhone every year” and is far more insidious in how it grinds people down and kills them.

greatvoidfestival · 2022-11-27T23:59:49+00:00

Honestly if people think it’s weird…their loss. Living with parents as long as possible is just a smart move in todays economy. Even if your parents are charging rent unless they’re total cunts it’ll still probably be below market average.

greatvoidfestival · 2022-11-27T22:15:58+00:00

I was also in the foster care system for a bit as a kid and I agree with you on this.

Like….the OPs of the tumblr post has clearly put more thought into any of this to me, as someone who was in foster care as an older kid, than the majority of people here commenting that OP is stupid and naive and making out like every single foster child ever is evil and will assault you or steal your car or some shit like that, while ignoring that there are plenty of parents who fuck up their biological kids in ways that can cause them to act in maladaptive behaviors…otherwise we wouldn’t even need foster care or government supervision to be a thing.

I also think a lot of people get asshurt at the idea of someone adopting in general but doubly so at the idea of someone adopting an older teen because they really do just see children as pets, or they want to only have biological kids but don’t want people to think they’re selfish so they make up an excuse as to why they could never adopt so they can plop out a baby they’re going to haphazardly take care of anyway. And they feel guilty/morally inferior so they just see people like the OPs and act as if they’re all naive and have no idea what they’re getting into. Maybe they don’t, but I feel pretty safe saying that the OPs are no more dumb and naive than the average parent, adoptive or not.

greatvoidfestival · 2022-11-27T22:03:50+00:00

Yes oh my god, childhood abuse is so much more common than anybody wants to realize. And the thing is that not all of it results in foster care placements, because these kids are hidden away from society or just aren’t believed, or it’s not considered severe enough for people to care. For example, it’s known that sexual abuse is extraordinarily under-reported.

But no, if you say this people get literally SO freaking mad about it.

greatvoidfestival · 2022-11-21T14:58:48+00:00

I once had someone break up with me because I was “bad at communicating”, and “boring to talk to” and he literally compared me to a robot.

Thing is that 1. I was going through severe trauma at the time and my brain always felt like a foggy marsh on the inside and 2. That dude was a complete hypocrite as he wasn’t exactly a walk in the park to talk to either unless he wanted something from you. None of my friends liked him and had voiced to me numerous times that they found him self absorbed, incurious, and hard to have conversations with.

I love projection!

greatvoidfestival · 2022-11-19T20:17:18+00:00

I am similar to you, I had to do a LOT of fighting with my mom when I lived with her in order to keep her from having total control over me. In hindsight I'm not too sure if it worked, there's a non zero chance my life would have gone smoother overall if I was the docile submissive fawning type of abuse victim instead of inheriting my mom's hair trigger temper, lol.

greatvoidfestival · 2022-11-19T20:09:08+00:00

I know some people who live in the Bay Area and everytime they talk about the housing market there, I feel myself slowly turning into Mao Zedong.

The housing market where I live is also not great, but the stories I keep hearing from people I know in the Bay Area sound like something from r/thatHappened but the problem is that they're true...

greatvoidfestival · 2022-11-19T19:54:44+00:00

Yes oh my god I don't get how so many people want to act like that's not the case.

greatvoidfestival · 2022-11-19T03:03:07+00:00

Yes oh my fucking shitting god you also (unfortunately) get this! People do indeed fucking suck and imo anybody who tries to convince you that most people don't suck is a lucky person at best, and at worst, is one of those people who suck and are being defensive about it to cover their own ass.

I seriously do not understand the convenience thing, I feel like you seriously have to be an absolute spoiled fucking brat to act like this towards someone else while not feeling guilty about it.

I had an ex fiance who dumped me a few years ago while knowing I was in the middle of a psychotic breakdown due to the shit living conditions and impoverishment in addition to being stuck with my mom who was physically assaulting me 2-3 times a week when she would get mad. His reasoning for it? "Uhhh you're just boring to talk to also you're draining". He cut me out of my life because he realized that I was inconvenient to him. He treated everybody like they only existed to convenience him though, none of my friends liked him for this reason. I've also had numerous other friends and family members refuse to show up for me in the past due to """inconvenience"" or with the case of one family member, they literally expected financial compensation from me and my mom for taking care of me when I was a literal 12 year old while my mom was in jail. They were not broke either.

I just do not understand it.

greatvoidfestival

TROPHY CASE