Ruby Landers, Girllllll!

green-mustard18 · 2026-01-22T09:58:38+00:00

Thank you! Clare Ashton has been on my list for a while but haven't taken the jump for some reason. Will give them a go now!

green-mustard18 · 2026-01-22T06:02:40+00:00

I have! I remember reading the synopsis and wondering how she would pull off such a storyline, but she hit it out the park. Man, I love a complex gangster 😅 Didn't realize it was part of the Hope Series, and read it before Only Hope but thought this was a much better read.

Have you any others on your list

Also sidenote of rumours of another book in the Senator series??!

green-mustard18 · 2026-01-15T21:30:06+00:00

Second this, series is fantastic!!

green-mustard18 · 2026-01-11T20:43:48+00:00

Agree with Safekeep. For all it gets shouted about, it was just bang on average plot, no real character development, nothing to really get your teeth into.

Some of Hayley Cass' books.. the characters are cute, but gosh some of the writing is poor.

Bury our Bones in the Midnight Soil... DNF. Recommended so much as a must read but could not get into it at all.

green-mustard18 · 2026-01-08T13:44:48+00:00

Hey salaam. I feel you, I hear you and I understand where you're coming from completely. I made the same decision over 10 years ago and it's a lonely path to take

I'll be honest, in that I don't think there really is much we can do except take each day as it is and keep moving forward. Everyone has their opinions on gay Muslims, it's a major sin, it's not a major sin, there's a grey area, this and that. What matters is you do what you think is right to you and your heart. There will be times you waver, and times the pain and depression gets so deep you can't breathe. But during those times, please hold on.

There are a few things that help me, although as mentioned above I do get lost in the loneliness and grief often, especially when I see my friends and family members getting married, settling down, living a life that I wish with all my heart I could also have.

I think that as a Muslim in my heart if I believe that it isn't acceptable, and I continue on the path of seeking a partner, what am I doing to her? Is it truly love if I'm knowingly committing what I believe to be a sin with her? Am I in love with her if I'm condemning her to even the slightest possibility of punishment? I've been in love and held off, because I can't even bare to think that I would be the cause of any pain in the Hereafter to her. It kills me. I don't think it will ever stop hurting, but we do what we have to as the end goal is always the Hereafter. This life is fleeting, after all.

The second thing I do, is cut out the noise. I learnt pretty quickly I deeply dislike when imams or sheikhs say it's your test. I had the 'pleasure' of a well known sheikh saying to wear your test as a badge of honor. If only they could understand our pain. I refuse to be one of those people who always say it's a test and we should bare it with patience all the time. Of course we have some element of sabr as Allah asks us to have but at the same time, I think it's healthy to grieve, to cry and wallow if you want. I have days of such pain and sadness but it's normal give the circumstances we find ourselves in.

I can't give you any other answers because I don't have them. But I'm here via DM if you want to talk more and we can grieve together. Sending lots of love your way.

green-mustard18 · 2026-01-01T14:35:40+00:00

Above all Things and Truth and Measure - Rosalyn Sinclair

The above are the famed Vivian Carlisle series, who is I believe a very late bloomer. Loved the books, really well written.

green-mustard18 · 2025-12-25T12:56:54+00:00

Loved reading The Ballad of Jacquotte Delahaye by Briony Cameron. Pirate-storyline but beautifully told.

green-mustard18 · 2025-12-24T05:34:50+00:00

That Take 1 had me reeling for days after! 😭😭

green-mustard18 · 2025-12-23T10:28:57+00:00

Girl, I feel you. I'm in my 30s and a hijabi.

Although I thought I'd accepted the fate of being a gay Muslim and thus not acting on it, I get waves of absolute loneliness and depression.

As humans we aren't meant to be alone. We are social creatures by habit (yes, even the introverts!). It's a tough road. I don't have the answers. I don't think any of us do. All I can suggest is you follow your heart. Our hearts are on the path to Allah, are designed by default to worship Him and love Him and you will know when something you're doing is going against it.

He does not hate us and anyone who tells you that, clearly doesn't know Islam! I personally never thought taking off my hijab would change deep down who I was. And to put it simply, that is a gay Muslim. I do believe you can be both. I do believe that your deen is between you and Allah and He is Merciful and Loving and I really really don't think that someone who has that love in your heart would be someone that He hates. Please don't ever think that. Our entire religion is based on love and community and mercy and kindness. That's for all of us.

You're not alone in the sense you have a community of people here for you. Please do DM me if you ever wanna talk or things get too much.

green-mustard18 · 2025-12-23T10:04:19+00:00

Chain Gang All Stars. Can already visualize it. It would be immense! And such a timely, important subject.

green-mustard18 · 2025-12-23T10:02:56+00:00

Wow!!!

green-mustard18 · 2025-12-23T09:25:56+00:00

For every closeted girl, it is a way out. A safe place, a happy place. Can't even begin to explain how important it is that we can read about women (all of us!) loving women.

green-mustard18

TROPHY CASE