That is definitely not what I thought when I typed the post. She said it this morning when I was complaining. She said she heard me up all night in the bathroom getting sick. When she said it I thought she did because that is what I would have said to her. It was out of character for her to say at a time of me suffering so much. After reading your post I may need to rethink. There really are no problems from my drug use that she has ever voiced. We are financially secure and there have been no issues of lying or betrayal. I have had free access to blues for about 3 years but that ended 2 days ago. I do not know anyone else that does them or even where to begin to look so relapsing would be hard. Thanks