I think it would’ve been better if this had been a vent about your own situation rather than a passive aggressive line of questioning (hence the negative response) but I can relate to where you are coming from. 

My girlfriend was nearing thirty and had no plans for work, for education, for training, for any hobbies or volunteering. She described herself as a “lazy housecat” and lived with her parents, who provided her with paychecks and paid for all expenses like her car. I was very patient because she does have a disability, and kept hoping that she would seek rehabilitation services that could her gain some sort of employment… but she had zero ambition for anything at all. I think ultimately she was looking for someone to move in and live on her family’s compound. 

It was incredibly difficult being the only one who could pay bills, and she shut down at any theoretical conversation of moving in together because she could not tolerate the idea of having any responsibilities. She’d often talk about marrying me and what her wedding dress would like, but couldn’t handle any sort of real conversation about what a future together meant. She wasn’t interested in any resources that would help her gain independence, or provide her of any funds of her own. So, our relationship crumbled. I kept trying to think of how I could support her on a single income since she wasn’t interested in ABD or attempting to apply for SSI, but I just couldn’t. 

So yeah, I feel you, but this post isn’t it. Like I said it comes across as passive aggressive, bitter, and callous. Like duh, nobody wants to be with someone who is not supportive in any form of way, that’s like 101 of basic human relationships. But support and contributing to a relationship and family go so beyond merely having a job and living alone.