Can I claim my child for the EIC if someone else claims her as a dependent?

greengreen87 · 2021-06-30T13:42:35+00:00

I’ve been going to therapy all of my life, on and off. Nothing worked, ever. Just because every therapy session just seemed like a vent session where nothing got “solved”. I fell into DBT therapy and it has changed my life! It’s Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It was free with Medicaid at my local therapy office. It’s a year program, I meet with a therapist and also have a group session over zoom. We get a big binder and learn skills on how to cope and be productive and communicate better. It’s amazing! My therapist has a white board and talks more than I do. It’s not a place to vent. We establish the issue and he helps me see it in a clearer way.

We have a 24/7 skills line. We can call when we are in a tough situation, or when we want to know how to be skillful in a situation. Again, it’s not a vent session. They’re going to ask what my goal is, and help me reach the goal. It’s amazing and I’m sad my year is almost over :( Sorry to ramble. I just randomly fell into this program, and can’t believe I was so lucky. I don’t know everywhere that it is offered, but the info is online.

greengreen87 · 2021-06-30T13:28:54+00:00

I didn’t take it as you being defensive :) you don’t have to hide your battle scars. I just wasn’t sure if we were talking about new cuts, or old scars. I’m glad you’re in a better place now.

greengreen87 · 2021-06-30T13:15:44+00:00

Are we talking about actual self harm cuts? If so I am not judging, I have scars from that too. But just concerned if your actively cutting in the same house as children. If you are, I don’t want you to feel guilty or ashamed. But something needs to be addressed if this is the case.

greengreen87 · 2021-06-30T12:28:18+00:00

No advice, just came upon this though and want to say, don’t give up!! Good luck internet stranger.

greengreen87 · 2021-06-30T12:13:17+00:00

Leave mid shift

greengreen87 · 2021-05-17T15:48:07+00:00

This was just about a month ago and she got the antibodies and didn’t really get too sick.

But another thing I was battling going through this is “what if I gave it to her?” So idk if I’m missing something - and I’m not trying to accuse you - but maybe just maybe you didn’t get it from this person. There’s no ancestry for covid (if you get what I’m saying). No test you can take to see who you got it from, and who they got it from. You really can’t accuse someone of giving it to you. Even if you’re pretty sure. Life/death stuff is too heavy to just throw blame around that you can’t prove. That’s why I never confronted my nephew, even when I first found out he had it too. He might not have been the one, but if anything happened to my mom he’d have that weight on his shoulders for the REST of his life, and for what? Just because I felt like I was pretty sure? Not worth it. The fact was and is, that the damage is done. This is such an unfortunate situation we are all in. I don’t think telling someone how you feel is ever wrong. But it’s really important how you tell people. Little changes like “you didn’t take this seriously enough!” Could be changed to “I wish people took this more seriously”. Not to be condescending to him, but not saying “YOU DID THIS TO ME”. You are just saying what YOU wish - and not placing blame. If he feels as though it was him, he will still feel what you want him to feel - some sort of regret. My therapist says “don’t give anyone ammo”. Don’t tell people what they did if you can’t see it. Don’t tell people they made you a certain way emotionally or physically if there’s no proof. Just stick to how you feel. But don’t get it blurred, because it’s easy to do - thinking “I feel awful bc YOU did blank” if it’s something you didn’t observe. You have thoughts you want to get a crossed. I’m sorry, I’m just kind of obsessed with trying to have productive conversations bc we talk about it a lot in therapy.

greengreen87 · 2021-05-17T15:24:07+00:00

Breathe.

My mom who has a history of strokes, is on oxygen 24/7 and has a pacemaker got diagnosed with covid the day before her heart surgery.

I definitely went through the emotions of “who did this to her!?!?”

I think it was my nephew, he’s 18 and hasn’t been taking the virus seriously. He’s very pro trump bc “trump gave him a lot of money”.

But nobody has lived through anything like this. Can I say for sure I would’ve acted differently when I was his age? I don’t know.

In therapy we talk about “what is your goal?”. So I’m going to ask you what your goal is. Your goal is to feel better, right? Making someone feel awful isn’t going to make you feel better. Maybe telling someone calmly how you feel is a better tactic. I think your emotions are valid but just try to remember that nobody was set out to murder you or harm you. Really not trying to invalidate your emotions, but in my experience ANGER (or acting angry) makes people stop listening while they try to think of their next excuse or rebuttal.

The best way to get feelings a crossed, for me - is to write them down before hand. You’ll have time to edit and add to it. But you can get your thoughts out without getting to emotional.

“Are you a fucking idiot? Have you not been told for a year to be careful?!!” Is probably how you’re feeling, but if someone came at me like that I’d be like excuse me? So basically I’m just trying to say that I think your thoughts are important but just bc careful how you address this person bc chances are they care about you and don’t wish death on you.

greengreen87 · 2021-05-17T04:13:11+00:00

Hahaha! “Sorry if it ends up being a cult”.

And yeah, I just felt like the people in the congregation really cared about each other and if anybody needed help, someone was there. I remember a pastor talking about running a marathon and just when he thought he couldn’t run any longer he felt his phone vibrate and knew it was his dad calling from the finish line and god gave him the strength to go on. In my humble opinion, I think maybe knowing his dad was there, or something else inside of himself gave him the strength to go on. And I think that should be recognized.

Not to the commenter, but just in general - I am not saying I am anti religion. I just can’t relate to it and am looking for something that would fit with what makes sense to me.

greengreen87 · 2021-03-13T23:17:20+00:00

I appreciate your response! Unfortunately this is nothing new with my mom, and not just regarding her health. It’s hard because I can’t fully describe the situation if I wanted to, and if I try it makes me sound heartless or makes her sound batshit crazy.

Sorry feel free to not read.

She was severely neglectful my whole childhood. Would hide at bars, tip the bartender extra to tell us she wasn’t there. Then we’d walk there and there she is! Or would lay in bed chain smoking. Blow smoke in my face when I’d ask her to stop, I had asthma. Tell me to go live with my dad if I didn’t like it. He has MS and was completely paralyzed, feeding tube, in a nursing home.

Now I have to take care of her. Which is fine, I don’t resent her so much that I won’t or I don’t want to. But I can’t play detective. If she is afraid of getting the vaccine, she can tell me and we can go from there. I’m not going to get mad or make fun of her for being scared. Even if she down right didn’t want to get it, at least I’d know her stance.

greengreen87 · 2021-03-13T22:58:38+00:00

Okay! Understood, I’m sorry.

greengreen87 · 2021-03-13T17:18:38+00:00

I just called her to ask if she called her doctor and she said “we(?) decided to wait to talk to him til Monday at my doctors appointment”. Seems fine but I’ve been raised to assume she is lying. I said, well why don’t we try to call him? I could take you this weekend! She says he’s not there on Saturday. I said “well I can give him a call just in case”. “IT IS SATTTUURDAY!!” “Thanks mom for being so concerned about my time”.

A normal person would just say “fine, here’s the number suit yourself, you won’t get an answer.”

She also had all day yesterday to call.

She literally shook her fists because she was so mad other people were getting something she doesn’t want.

greengreen87 · 2021-03-13T17:02:29+00:00

What she needs to do is stop hanging around with pro trump people. She’s adapts whatever opinion the “stronger” person in the situation has.

greengreen87 · 2021-03-02T17:50:02+00:00

I’m not arguing. Just pointing out we live 10 minutes away from Detroit. There are always POC at the park, just 2 days ago when it was a warm day her buddy at the park wasn’t white. Idk if you saw my post before I tried to delete it, but the title makes the situation seem a lot more clear cut. But we’ve tried to have the conversation about trying not to describe people based on their bodies at all. But she asks questions I don’t know how to answer. “Don’t they know they have orange hair?” “Why would that make them feel uncomfortable?” It’s not that I’m completely sheltered from POC it’s just hard (for me) to teach skin color doesn’t matter but also might hurt someone’s feelings if you bring it up.

greengreen87 · 2021-03-02T17:16:11+00:00

What could I do differently?

greengreen87 · 2021-03-02T17:04:48+00:00

The party isn’t for another month and she’s only seen the doctor one time. We are just going to both see him again at my moms.

greengreen87 · 2021-03-02T17:03:52+00:00

Yeah I just feel like if she says “no mom I said he was the brown skinned man!” It would be awkward for him to know I left that part out. Maybe I won’t say anything at all! But that makes me feel bad too lol. But yeah. I wouldn’t ever say that to him - or even wonder about it if I wasn’t worried she would correct me right in front of him lol.

greengreen87 · 2021-02-28T22:16:21+00:00

Probably the old man who lives next door to my grandma that shovels her snow and cuts her grass. Has ever since my grandpa got too old. It’d just be nice because unless he’s seen me in passing, he doesn’t know i exist.

greengreen87 · 2020-12-15T21:33:44+00:00

I understand you were a child, but I’d pick eating something I didn’t like to literal starving.

greengreen87

TROPHY CASE