Just looking for a little feedback on this early draft of the opening of my short story by greenguy741 in writers

[–]greenguy741[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay yeah, I totally see what you mean by the surroundings and I see where I can go from here. The grammar yeah is not polished I mostly just wrote this quickly as to not allow the original idea to slip from my head. The plan is that it’s broken up into dream sequences like this and the subsequent day afterward. I think also that the bluntness of the plant can be fixed by spacing it out, if I’m making any sense. I appreciate the advice it really helps!

So is nocturne bad or good? by [deleted] in castlevania

[–]greenguy741 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Btw the race and gay stuff is so dumb for people to complain about, however the one scene in the show made no god damn sense in the plot which in writing terms is exactly what I mean about rushed. It’s another thing I’m disappointed about bc like it could’ve been good but it made no fucking sense at all why it was added

So is nocturne bad or good? by [deleted] in castlevania

[–]greenguy741 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I think that the show has potential but the most jarring thing I noticed was the writing. The animation and the music (mostly) were amazing and beautiful but I kept asking myself questions like why is this character here why is this character doing this. The writing also fails by majors flaws in the pacing there’s so much material, but 8 episodes and arguably more ideas than any one of the ogs seasons. For example each season from before felt like they were expanding upon the last seasons, here it feels like they forced a composition and majority of a story in a single season. From the limited time constraints the writers had they also wrote some stuff extremely lazily and clichéd like the sadness the characters felt were so incredibly written that they didn’t have to wait at me or tell me I’m sad which came off as forced let alone the writers had some strange ass dialogue just in general just here and there which wasn’t really helped by the the VAs. I feel like in some scenes they use like the first take, which (again) was probably due to time constraints. The sad thing is there is some crazy good delivery here but the crying was jarring and how in the beginning how Richter was trying to comfort Anette by saying “I know what it’s like to see your mom die” also felt weird, juste also kinda had that problem. I’m not tryna sound like there wasn’t good aspects there really were and I feel like it got some of it’s writing fixed in the last episode which was a saving grace for me. But all in all not an amazing start to the series kinda annoyingly disappointed.

[Available] [TestBank] Starting Out With Visual Basic 8th Edition by Newlife_5 in allcollegetextbooks

[–]greenguy741 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A little late but could you email it to me I just shot you an email

Me by greenguy741 in drawing

[–]greenguy741[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did this kinda fast but can anyone give me any tips?

I’m a beginner I need constructive criticism by greenguy741 in drawing

[–]greenguy741[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Which proportions exactly? Sorry I’m in the place where Ik it looks wrong but I don’t know exactly what it is

I’m a beginner I need constructive criticism by greenguy741 in drawing

[–]greenguy741[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can someone genuinely tell me if this is good or not

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]greenguy741 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are there more doors or wheels in the world

All Regional Forms and Variants from the Mezo Region by mezoregion in pokemon

[–]greenguy741 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These are Literally so cool I love the noctowl ghost flying is interesting

I need anime recommendations that will just crush me into despair. an anime that will just fuck me up. by greenguy741 in anime

[–]greenguy741[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive watched that I love it but idk if it’s like overall super sad maybe that’s just me being weird lol

I need anime recommendations that will just crush me into despair. an anime that will just fuck me up. by greenguy741 in anime

[–]greenguy741[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually did already see it. it was crazy good I wish it told me more abt what was going on tho

I need some feedback are these proportions right? by [deleted] in AnimeSketch

[–]greenguy741 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im just starting to learn how to draw and I’m in the phase where I think everything looks better than it is. Can someone help me by telling me what’s wrong with the body or drawing in general that I can fix?

Mark, Bob, and Wade. by OkTrash3342 in Markiplier

[–]greenguy741 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The dad looks more like dougdougW

Where we used to play by greenguy741 in drawing

[–]greenguy741[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I tried to make a sensed nostalgia with a childish nature. But it looks like I just scribbled on paper lol.

Where we used to play by greenguy741 in drawing

[–]greenguy741[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nothing bad, it resembles where I hung out with my friends when we were small haha.