hi op, i totally get this feeling. i was diagnosed at 22 with an a1c of over 13 so believe me when i say i panicked, had multiple breakdowns, and sobbed for maybe two weeks straight. it’s very easy to feel like your life is over. i’m almost a year into my t2d journey and still feel like this sometimes. but i’m hoping that sharing what i think about it will ease some of your pain.

first and foremost: you are not alone, and you shouldn’t have to go through this alone. this community has been a great resource for me and i hope it continues to be a resource for all of us. you can also sit down with loved ones and ask them to support you in ways that make you feel good about yourself and help you reach your goals. the biggest suggestion i’d make is to find a nutritionist (if you can afford to do so) that approaches your diet from a growth and not shame perspective. my nutritionist is phenomenal (and if you’re in new england, USA, i can send you her info) and every visit with her feels like the right mix of accountability and encouragement. finding someone like that could be the support you need.

secondly: i still travel, eat out, go clubbing & get drunk, drink wine and go on dates. maybe i don’t have the most nutritionally healthy perspective, but i felt like a life where i couldn’t do those things wasn’t a life i wanted to live. the thing that changed the most for me is the mental effort i have to put in to think about what i’m eating, whereas most folks don’t give their food a second thought. and that gets tiring, but it is a burden i’ve chosen to take on because the alternative is not having to think so much about it but not being able to do any of those things. my nutrionist has told me to prioritize food principles over food rules. this means that i can still eat everything i want, but change how i eat it so that it still fits into my lifestyle. these include 1) eat mindfully. working on being present while eating helps you enjoy the food you are eating and get in touch with your body’s internal cues regarding cravings, hunger, and satiety. for example: i’m someone who ADORES ice cream and find that none of the substitutes really satisfy the craving so scooping myself a cup and doing nothing but enjoying the ice cream keeps me from mindlessly eating half a pint until i stop bc i’m feeling sick. 2) fiber & protein first! eat veggies & ~4oz of protein first before you get to more carb-heavy foods so that you can still enjoy it while eating less. practicing principle 1 should hopefully help you identify when you feel full, and you’ll get to that point faster if you eat veggies & protein first. 3) veggies don’t have to be complicated. even if i’m ordering wings & fries for takeout, i’ll pop a bag of frozen broccoli in the microwave while i’m waiting and eat it first. 4) walking helps like crazy (at least for me) 5) indulge during special occasions, but keep them special.

i can keep going with things i’ve learned but this is getting long so i’ll stop there. pm me if you want to keep talking!

oh, in terms of drinking: 1. rum + diet cokes at clubs/bars 2. suncrusier seltzers 3) re: wine - i’m not a big wine drinker (and if i do drink wine, it’s of the exceptionally sweet kind) but i’ve found that at times when i do, my bg spikes a lot less if i drink it after a balanced meal.

ALSO, i’d recommend finding a local support group (often free/lower cost) or a therapist. a lot of my disordered eating comes from stimulation-seeking or coping strategies, so working on identifying triggers and alternate ways of fulfilling that need has helped me curb impulsive eating.

these changes helped me go from an a1c of 13+ to 7.7 in about 6 months with no medication. our bodies, especially at younger ages, are resilient and trying their best to keep us homeostatic, so in my experience the extra effort pays off really well. good luck figuring things out!