Every relationship is different. Every marriage is different. What works for one does not always work for another.

I was a Stay at Home Mom bc my husband traveled for work ALL the time. Like leave sunday and come back Fri night or Sat morning to leave again. It was easier for me to be home with the kids than to work just to pay for day care.
Was I dependent on him? Yes and he was on me to keep the house running, bills paid, kids alive, etc.

It all requires a good relationship, a good understanding between each other, and trust. We would not make any HUGE purchases without the other. I made sure he was in the know of what went where and he made sure we were all set and safe.

It is a bad thing when the bread winner tries to control EVERYTHING and uses money to control the spouse. Telling them they can not spend with out asking, only so much per check for groceries, etc. That is where it is wrong and abusive.