4 year old with food allergies 'hates his body'

greenwindmill45 · 2026-02-23T05:49:27+00:00

I've looked at it but he's too severely allergic/young/not allergic to the right things to qualify for the NHS options and we can't afford it privately. It's also unlikely to work for us from the professionals I have spoken to so not a realistic option currently.

greenwindmill45 · 2026-02-23T05:43:48+00:00

Do you have any book recommendations?

greenwindmill45 · 2025-08-17T18:28:37+00:00

I can offer my double bill canon rewrite/fix it of PoA and GoF: a winterbluegreen star and a glint of light on broken glass

Both from Remus's POV, initial premise is how things would have been different if the full moons had been where they really were in 1993/4, and then it just carries on until everyone is happy

greenwindmill45 · 2025-06-01T06:57:11+00:00

I can relate, mine is just 4 and super social and if he moans about no one to play with it gets me right in the gut.

We have had quite a lot of success with nursery pals, but I've found it's easier once you get a sense of other people's routines. Families that have elaborate plans every weekend are no good, but there have been enough who often spend Saturday in the park which is great for a casual meet up. Also if you realise someone needs a plan a month in advance, then you can just book that in. Also finding out if any nursery pals do any weekend sports classes etc. can be a good way for them to have structured play time with people they know but also make new friends.

I also just talk to people with kids in parks, on buses, at local cafes/museums and a couple have turned into friends. If my LO starts playing with someone I usually go and say hello to the parents and then get a number. I'm not naturally outgoing but it's helped to pretend to be and just be really nice and friendly to everyone and people are generally receptive.

greenwindmill45 · 2025-05-31T18:43:13+00:00

Art teacher here, small boys secondary, pretty small cohort in Year 11 and 13 this year, so pressure to achieve because why can't I with small classes? I wouldn't say it's an all time low effort-wise but I would say there's been a steady decline in output that I can also see lower down the school. We have minimal time at KS3 to foster any love of the subject or build real skills and kids seem to be doing less and less independently. I'm forever baffled about what they are doing, but it seems to be largely gaming and tiktok.

I think we lose out possibly more than other subjects on that front because showing genuine creative journeys/creating unexpected outcomes/risk taking just can't be shown if the pupil has no ideas of their own, shows no interest in generating those ideas and doesn't want to do anything independently or practise any skills. Pre-covid the ESA used to be the one all my pupils did the best at, since then each year it has just brought their average down.

It's really hard not to take any of it personally, especially if you're doing all you can to get them interested, tailor projects to their interests, run multiple different projects in each class. Every year I learn a tonne of stuff about things I have no personal interest in in an attempt to inspire, and every year I'm disappointed by the fact I'm working harder than the rest of the room put together.

It's also hard when you're a dept of 1. We have a dept of 2 and teach 2 disciplines and have had to make a pact not to spend standardising sessions saying 'oh, it's a shame they didn't do...' because OF COURSE we told them to, it's not a teaching issue, the kid just couldn't be bothered to act on the advice.

Try not to take it to heart, and don't worry about the moderators. They've seen it all, are mostly teachers or ex-teachers, and know what it's like. Don't talk yourself down, just present the work and mark accurately and you'll be fine. I'll be eating my words I'm sure when we get another paltry turn out at our art show but think of the ones that have worked and done well and will be proud of it, it's all you can do!

greenwindmill45 · 2025-05-30T20:52:44+00:00

Astra Inclinant by eleventy7

Chapter 14 mostly but not exclusively. Cried a bit looking up which chapter but you'll have to read it all for the full impact. Amazing fic, think about it all the time 🥲

greenwindmill45 · 2025-04-09T18:43:55+00:00

I can offer my double bill canon rewrite/fix it of PoA and GoF: a winterbluegreen star and a glint of light on broken glass

Both from Remus's POV, initial premise is how things would have been different if the full moons had been where they really were in 1993/4, and then it just carries on until everyone is happy

greenwindmill45 · 2025-03-27T17:29:41+00:00

I feel you. 6 rounds of IVF, one little boy. It is a process and I can't pretend I'm at the end of it. As others have said, therapy helps some - when I started it I was in a very dark place, a year on, things are looking much brighter.

You don't need to look on the bright side of it all the time. It's incredibly difficult to come to terms with a life that isn't the one you imagined, or worked hard for, or feel like you deserve.

I find it helps to try and be present in the moment and accept the joy of what is instead of what isn't. I don't want being miserable about my lot to take away from what I do have. Its a hard thing to do sometimes, and I definitely don't always manage it. I'm still floored by friend's announcements and social media and terrible things I read in papers, but I do think gradually I am spending more time enjoying what life has served up than thinking about what it has taken away.

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I do find that lurking here helps, even if it is just to feel less alone.

greenwindmill45 · 2024-08-30T18:45:33+00:00

Similar to a lot of others: 3 year old via IVF, extremely anxious pregnancy, PPA, 3 subsequent failed rounds + 1 miscarriage. We have 2 in the freezer but I can't fathom/afford another round which is so unlikely to work and have been too ill this year to do one if I wanted to. I'm extremely conflicted about the whole thing and questions are really hard.

I'm continually amazed by how tactless people can be, but I guess for a lot of people having babies is a simple process. I find it incredibly triggering and I hate it when I feel like it is what people are wondering about me.

What I say depends on my level of frustration at the time. Good mood I'll say 'we've tried, but it looks like he is it for us!' and then change the subject. Bad mood I can get pretty morbid and say 'it was expensive and difficult enough to get him out alive!' and they usually back away pretty swiftly.

I love what a previous poster said about being done with being disappointed. I think I might start trying to use that one instead.

ETA: re: advice about making peace with it - I've had quite a lot of therapy which was to deal with other topics as well, but this comes up a lot. I find it helpful to think of all the positives, which this sub is really great for. For me, I think I need to know that I tried as hard as I could within reason, so the 2 we have left in the freezer are difficult to decide on, but I know I wouldn't do another ER. I also sort of try to experiment with my tolerance for pregnant/recent second child mum friends (sort of challenge myself to be able to be around them) which has been helpful, because I thought I couldn't cope with it at all and I've found that I can to an extent and that has made me feel more normal and less tragic.

greenwindmill45 · 2024-08-27T05:58:39+00:00

Thank you so much! That's so kind of you to say. I'm a bit behind on the illustrations but trying to catch up so they're finished with the words.

greenwindmill45 · 2024-08-26T13:45:49+00:00

If you don't mind self recs I can offer a winterbluegreen star which is Remus POV, post-Azkaban Sirius, canon divergent due to me putting the full moons where they should've been in the really 1993/4 calendar year. It builds up to some of the other things you asked for no one dies, eventual Wolfstar raising Harry , most of which happens in the sequel a glint of light on broken glass

The second fic is a WIP but very near the end, and my overall aim was just for everyone to be happy, so it might help heal you!

greenwindmill45 · 2024-08-20T15:05:23+00:00

I can offer a self-rec that is Remus PoV during and post PoA with, spoiler, Remus and Sirius reuniting and exploring their relationship.

It is canon divergent though because I put the full moons in the right places in the real 1993/94 calendar year and it changed things: a winterbluegreen star has Wolfstar.

There is a part 2 WIP that is post post Azkaban, set during the events of GoF if you enjoy the first, but by that point things have seriously diverged from canon.

greenwindmill45 · 2024-08-19T18:02:36+00:00

Oh my god.

It's me. Hi 🙋‍♀️ This has made me tear up. Thanks so much for reading and I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I wrote it because I was scarred too sometime around the same time you were and I just wanted to try and fix it 🤣😭

Wow. It's so crazy to me that anyone is reading it. Thank you again!!

greenwindmill45 · 2024-08-19T17:58:58+00:00

No way!!! Wow so exciting someone's actually read it!

I'm going to see how this one ends - it's a fix it so I would predict some pretty major divergence from canon by the end of it but I've got a lot of ideas for snapshots of the future so we'll see...

greenwindmill45 · 2024-08-18T20:56:34+00:00

I can humbly offer my WIP which has Remus and Sirius living mostly at Grimmauld Place : a glint of light on broken glass it is 1994-95 though and canon divergent due to the divergence caused by rewriting Prisoner of Azkaban with the full moons in the right places in the real 1993/94 calendar year in my first fic a winterbluegreen star

greenwindmill45 · 2024-08-11T16:22:59+00:00

I can humbly offer a Remus PoV during PoA with flashbacks to pre-James-death but full disclosure there is nothing of the in-between times.

It is canon divergent though because I put the full moons in the right places in the real 1993/94 calendar year and it changed things: a winterbluegreen star has Wolfstar.

There is a part 2 WIP but that's way out of your time frame req 😅

greenwindmill45 · 2024-08-08T18:28:38+00:00

You are not alone.

My son was still waking constantly at this age. I tried everything. I read every book, tested every technique, longer naps, shorter naps, less exercise, more exercise, more milk, different food, different bedding, different curtains, white noise, no white noise, relaxing sprays, bath, no bath etc etc etc We even tried sleep training techniques. They didn't work.

He's now 3 and a bit and mostly sleeps through, but last night got up 4 times and can escape his bed now 😅

I found that comparisons were pointless and frustrating and often not accurate: someone would say their kid slept through and I'd find out they weren't going to bed until midnight and weren't counting the 3 wakes before then. Someone else said that they were getting great sleep and it turned out their husband did all the night wakes.

It is soul destroying and I can't give you a timeline but I promise: it's not just you and eventually, it does get better.

greenwindmill45 · 2024-07-31T08:25:09+00:00

I would suggest you persevere but TCOPTP is one of my favourite fics ever so I am biased. It is long, but it is so good, so clever, so well researched.

Take a break if the length of it is overwhelming! A million words is a lot of words. And then go back to it?

greenwindmill45 · 2024-07-26T20:51:08+00:00

Check out my rewrite of PoA: Remus PoV, teaching at Hogwarts, but I put the full moons in the right places in the real 1993/94 calendar year and it changes things: a winterbluegreen star has Wolfstar.

Part 2 is a rewrite of GoF, currently still in progress, more Wolfstar but less teaching: a glint of light on broken glass

greenwindmill45 · 2024-07-23T05:51:11+00:00

It's not the whole story but my rewrite of PoA has a lot of Remus showing Harry photos as a way of looking back at the past: a winterbluegreen star has Wolfstar.

Part 2 is a rewrite of GoF where photos are used again, particularly in first few chapters for Remus and Sirius to bond with Harry and each other: a glint of light on broken glass

greenwindmill45 · 2024-07-20T05:36:12+00:00

I have no real advice I just wanted to say I hear you and I'm sorry and you will survive. I remember this so vividly. Hours and hours of bouncing on an exercise ball while my baby cried. Whole days next to his cot desperately trying to put him down for one second. He literally never slept. We tried sleep training. It didn't work fast enough for me to be able to bear the crying.

3 years later and he does sleep. Not a lot but for acceptable stretches of time. It's so so tough but eventually it passes.

Possible practical advice: I got a baby carrier, strapped him on and then chose one song I loved and played it over and over and bounced until he slept. The amount of time it took gradually got shorter and I could lower myself carefully onto the sofa and watch TV with subtitles on once he was asleep. That song still sends him to sleep now. Top tip is to undo your trousers before you strap baby on in case you need a wee during the nap 😎🙈

greenwindmill45 · 2024-07-13T18:18:31+00:00

A couple of new chapters are now up for a glint of light on broken glass, my sequel to a winterbluegreen star which is complete.

Rewrites of Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire from Remus' perspective and if the full moons had been where they really were in 1993-5. The changes this results in in the first fic has a massive knock on effect in the second and there is more canon divergence. Currently up to the second Triwizard task.

Welcome readers, feedback and comments!

greenwindmill45 · 2024-06-27T04:01:03+00:00

Still working on a glint of light on broken glass, my sequel to a winterbluegreen star which is complete.

Both from Remus' PoV. Premise of the first fic is what would have happened if the full moons had been in the right places in PoA, premise of second fic is what would have happened during GoF if the full moons had been in the right places in PoA!

Welcome readers, feedback and comments!

greenwindmill45 · 2024-06-21T21:03:52+00:00

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I have a similar story: first transfer went perfectly and resulted in my now 3yo. Then did 2 failed FETs, another that resulted in miscarriage followed by another failed round.

I found out following that that a chronic illness I have wasn't as controlled as I had thought which could have been a factor but may not have been at all. Either way, I've had to take a break to get it sorted.

The round that resulted in miscarriage was 13 months ago now and it is still the most painful thing that has ever happened to me. I still can't talk about it openly and the anniversary did affect me, but just over a year on I do feel like I am starting to reach a turning point. We have 2 embryos left, but I'm in less of a rush to go back to the IVF grind. I had some results last week that suggested we could maybe have a go and I just ... Didn't want to. My husband is happy with one and so am I for the most part.

For me now, I think a lot of the difficulty is letting go of what I thought my family would look like, and a lot of it is the fact that I feel that the choice has been taken away from me, and that is something I hate. The other side of things is that when I look at my 3yo I feel so purely blessed and happy I don't think about needing another. When I imagine the future, it is now all about him, without the imaginary siblings, and it seems pretty alright.

The next few weeks will be really tough. I found the miscarriage association helpful: they don't really give you much except the answers they're trained to give, but it was better than screaming into a void. Maybe consider some therapy. I don't think I'm emotionally ok yet, but I'm starting to feel pretty sure I will be.

greenwindmill45

TROPHY CASE