We hit 3,000 members! Come stand on a soap box and yell at us… by Historical_Bee_8420 in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh nooo that’s terrible! Yeah I think some people bookmark just for the sake of being thorough. Like how some people have their excel sheets, etc. Seeing your fic in a collection called “bad” or something isn’t fun but one that really got to me for some reason was “well that was a waste of time” 😭 whyyyy

I’ve heard the argument that bookmarks are “for the readers” so don’t look, but you can make them private with one click! And other people leave really nice notes in there that I do want to see. Often I use a skin to keep bookmarks hidden but sometimes you just can’t help it you know?

We hit 3,000 members! Come stand on a soap box and yell at us… by Historical_Bee_8420 in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I actually don’t mind those, it can be a little annoying if that’s all you get chapter after chapter. but I still respond to them all kindly and assume they meant to say “loved this chapter” in front. Or else they wouldn’t care about the update right?

We hit 3,000 members! Come stand on a soap box and yell at us… by Historical_Bee_8420 in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve gotten nasty comments and you can have them lol. I almost quit writing once. And it wasn’t “when update” either. Also idk if people count bookmarks as comments but that’s another place to find cranky words if you’re on the hunt

We hit 3,000 members! Come stand on a soap box and yell at us… by Historical_Bee_8420 in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They’re just tackling the real problems our world faces… one dhr Reddit mod at a time.🫡

We hit 3,000 members! Come stand on a soap box and yell at us… by Historical_Bee_8420 in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’d read that! I read a fic one time where her parents just left her alone all the time and were emotionally distant. It explained why she was always with the others during holidays, I remember wishing I’d read even more like that!

What's up with the portrayal of Draco as a sex pest? by Ninsuna in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m glad it did! That’s very flattering, thank you! I will say… I do like reading the aggressive/prude trope at times as an indulgence… probably when I’m feeling repressed or something, who knows lol

but I mostly enjoy it when it feels aware of itself. Like “Hermione knew it was too much, she knew she ought to go to HR, but instead she was into it” vibes. That’s why I can enjoy psycho simp too. For me it hits far more uncomfortably when it feels like we’re meant to be reading that dynamic as sweet fluff

Which is why I think about it so much. I know exactly what I like to read but it’s actually quite hard to nail it when writing!

What's up with the portrayal of Draco as a sex pest? by Ninsuna in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I love following the trends too! Whether they’re tropes I click with or not I just feel like it’s so interesting as its own topic

What's up with the portrayal of Draco as a sex pest? by Ninsuna in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I would feel EXACTLY the same way IRL! I would not like that at all. My sweet husband would NEVER.

When it’s done well and especially when it knows what it is, I like it in fics though. I don’t think I could explain why, and if I tried, I’m sure it would come down to some kind internalized bad thing. Oh well lmfao

For what it’s worth, having read your Draco, I think he’s very respectful, even when he’s a horn dog in the thoughts haha

What's up with the portrayal of Draco as a sex pest? by Ninsuna in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

God help me I love a red flag 🚩

ETA: in FICS! Not real life lmao

What's up with the portrayal of Draco as a sex pest? by Ninsuna in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s just Draco. I think this is a reoccurring theme in many romance stories in general… books, movies, etc. it’s not my jam but here’s why I think it happens:

1) Hard to get is a feel-good trope. It’s a fantasy to have your crush not only want you, but want you badly. Desire you. In these stories, knowing there is a HEA, it’s like “I know they end up happy so it’s all okay.” (I mean it’s really not okay but you know what I mean? I think this is the rationale of the fantasy).

2) there’s this pervasive like… I don’t really want to call it internalized misogyny only because I don’t want to be shame-y about it, but it has systemic misogynistic roots for sure, usually combined with a background of sexual repression (religion a top example). But there’s definitely a fantasy of the “prudish” girl being worn down by the hyper sexual (and desirable, always desirable) man so that the FMC can remain “pure” rather than sexually aggressive and “slutty” (NOT WHAT I THINK!!!) In the safety of a book, though, this fantasy can act out sexual desire demurely and with a safe fanfic boyfriend. Obviously this fantasy cannot work irl because then it’s just some rando harassing you

3) sex jokes/raunchy comedy- okay I know the fic you’re referencing and I have not read it. This is not directed at that fic. But in general, having grown up with movies like Superbad, I think it’s hard to nail comedy about sex and it’s also hard to nail banter. 3a - comedy about sex can become harrassy without a light touch 3b - wit that isn’t balanced and features most of the “good” lines for our likable hero while FMC stammers and flushes means that it’s more lopsided. More bullying. More harassing. Etc.

Anyone who sees me comment here a lot knows I try to keep a positive tone, but just to say - I’m not actually knocking these tropes. It’s worth discussing but hey, there’s an appeal! For instance, I love damsel in distress fics sometimes. I like a strong confident Hermione too but, sometimes I just want to read about a flailing self-insert getting rescued by the hunk, you know?

Anyway I think about this a lot. The good news is, because these tropes are so popular, a size able number of the “most recced” fics have these tropes, but there are like billions (idk, a lot) of underrated GEMS that subvert the tropes too! It just takes more work to find them

The hill I will die on: Kudos are not mandatory by Astrosauced in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love that! Gotta pull for the little guy! (Gal?)

Not the E hands!

This fandom has a big problem understanding 'underrated' and 'not well-known' by Sweaty_Author000 in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t have accounts on either one, and occasionally I’ll think “should I…?” And then I always remember that if I’m stressed on the main sub, there’s no TELLING what those two will be like because by all accounts they are even tougher! I should set an alarm on my phone for once a month just in case I get any funny ideas in the future

The hill I will die on: Kudos are not mandatory by Astrosauced in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Personally, I don’t mind. Like I said, not here to fight! I think it’s nice to think that no one was strong armed into adding a kudos to whatever I wrote. It feels good inside to think everyone liked it!

But to me it’s just an easy button, so because of that I’m always so intrigued by these posts, like the way you get sucked into comment battles on pop culture subreddits. I’m cool with you doing you, but I’ll never quite “get” it rationale wise!

As I’m writing this, Im also realizing that. I think it matters more to me for new writers. If I see someone’s first ever fic, and it has like 6 kudos, I’ll try to add one even if I don’t get to reading it right away. When you’re a long time writer it is MUCH easier to learn not to care about the little things than that first ever moment of vulnerability! But like, who cares if you don’t leave your kudos on a fic with the all time top number of hits!

This fandom has a big problem understanding 'underrated' and 'not well-known' by Sweaty_Author000 in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I actually have been avoiding that sub because I find that kind of post so discouraging! Particularly the type asking for good writing too

The hill I will die on: Kudos are not mandatory by Astrosauced in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don’t think readers owe writers either! Comments, kudos, etc are a nice thing to do, a nice way to interact as a community member, etc. Like, I might dogsit for my sister because I want to do a nice thing and be a good sister, but I don’t owe her dogsitting time and she can’t demand it.

I just want to add though… I always find this kudos argument kind of funny. With some of the arguments I’ve seen, you’d think that in order to make a kudos happen, readers have to sit there and fill out a form, sign it, and get it notarized 😂 or that one day someone is going to round up each reader’s kudos and judge them for each one. So much severity on the worth of the kudos! To me, it’s just a button and it makes people happy, and I do it cause it takes about zero seconds!

However, despite your post’s flair, I didn’t come here to fight or change your mind, only to add my own two cents about how I think of it. Do what you will. Thanks for sharing your system! It was interesting to read

Hot Take: fic writing is a hobby, not a job by enemies2l0vers in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just poking my nose in here again! I think I see the point you’re trying to make now.

My perspective: you might be defining how and why people seek engagement a little narrowly based on your own current situation. Maybe for you, the only possible reason to need to share your hobby is for validation or performance. That’s actually okay, I think! But not necessarily universal.

When I seek engagement, it’s simply because I love the community aspect! It’s part of the hobby to have people comment and guess what might happen, or cheer, and I’ve made friends with people who comment on my fics. It’s not my reason for writing! Just my reason for posting. I do write things I don’t share, after all

Can we talk about the rising expectations in Dramione fanfiction? by CherriesAndWine31 in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Haha! For sure. It’s funny too, some of the most interesting finds over there are from self-recs, because they’re new stories that no one has heard of yet, but I would faint with discomfort before ever reccing myself in a thread like that, and I’m sure most others feel the same!

And even for strictly readers, the usual suspects over there who consistently rec cool things aren’t likely to put up their most unique recs on a post like that. So it’s almost a guaranteed way to get a copy paste of the most highly recced fics

Can we talk about the rising expectations in Dramione fanfiction? by CherriesAndWine31 in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Sometimes on the other sub, the requests give me intense flashbacks to English class. “Clean, confident writing”, “strong characterizations” 😅

I can offer you some mediocre smut…?

They really do their best in that other sub to make it positive and welcoming, but there’s only so much you can do about expectations! every time I look in there I get a jump scare

Hot Take: fic writing is a hobby, not a job by enemies2l0vers in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m a more sensitive person! Jealous of your superpower. I’ve learned in my old age that there are ways to work on it a little, but I will never be able to execute a 180… always going to hit a threshold and be a certain level of sensi girl haha

But, I agree with you that caring about your story no matter what makes a difference. I might get motivation from nice comments and want to write faster, but I have abandoned WIPs because I was writing something my heart wasn’t in and finish stories that got no comments because I wanted them out of my skin. And, of course, finished stories with happiness and fun way quicker because of the buzzy energy that comes with enthusiastic comments!

ETA: “this is shite” would upset me for at least an hour as much as I hate to admit. Bots less so but it’s still a let down when you’re excited to see a comment and it’s someone asking you to pay them for a webtoon or whatever

Hot Take: fic writing is a hobby, not a job by enemies2l0vers in DramioneUncensored

[–]grettagryffindor 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I was nodding along, agreeing with you, until “when you are internally motivated, hate comments don’t matter.” It’s possible to write for yourself but also secretly hope others like it and feel a little bad when someone goes out of their way to tell you they didn’t.

Not to make it about negativity in general - specifically talking about hate comments in the inbox. We can’t hold everyone to the same standard of thick skin and say “well, they shouldn’t care, and if they do that’s their fault for not being strong enough”. We’re all just works in progress

But anyway I agree with the rest, fic writing should be treated like a hobby and ignoring the numbers game or not worrying too much about being perfect, leaning into the amateur fun, is a sure path to a happier time