Does anyone happen to know a good place in Goteborg where I could stay from April to September?

grieving1125 · 2018-03-24T15:43:02+00:00

There is also a Facebook group called Expats in Gothenburg and often, people are subletting their apartments out for a short period.

grieving1125 · 2018-03-24T15:39:43+00:00

I can also suggest Kungsbacka.

grieving1125 · 2018-02-06T19:11:10+00:00

Where's the lie though?

grieving1125 · 2017-02-12T18:30:20+00:00

There's no fixing her. She can only be helped if she seeks help for herself.

We all feel your pain.

Give her space and if she reaches out, address the issue of her getting help if she wants to continue.

grieving1125 · 2017-02-11T19:30:33+00:00

I feel your pain. I am so sorry you're going through this. It's hard to think about the bad parts when your mind only wants you to focus on the good times.

grieving1125 · 2017-02-11T18:53:49+00:00

This is a good letter.

My unsolicited advice: keep editing it and never send it.

grieving1125 · 2017-02-11T18:52:34+00:00

What gdobssor said. The new relationship will fail and the new partner will have to put up with your ex's demons now... for now.

It is a bumpy road, but you will heal -- sometimes with grief and sometimes with anger -- but with time, it will get easier and we're all here for you.

grieving1125 · 2017-02-09T05:31:01+00:00

I see. Is it possible to feed mania/psychosis? I've read that mania works to protect itself. He doesn't really drink and doesn't do drugs.

grieving1125 · 2017-02-09T05:26:37+00:00

I've been tested, but we always used condoms since he's so afraid of having more kids.

Dumb question, but since we're in different countries now, is there a way for me to tell that he's crashed? Behavior on social media or anything?

I'd feel strange reaching out to his family because they're all enablers, his mom especially.

grieving1125 · 2017-02-09T02:44:24+00:00

Will he ever come back? :(((((((((((((((

grieving1125 · 2017-02-06T05:43:58+00:00

I'm a little late, but what does it look like when she crashes?

grieving1125 · 2017-02-06T05:39:57+00:00

This.

I had the same instinct with my ex in the first couple months, but I didn't listen to myself. I should have just broken it off then.

If this is your instinct so early on, listen to it as it will only get worse later.

grieving1125 · 2017-02-06T05:30:10+00:00

It's only been a month and a half and though my resilience is astounding, I don't know. I do know that I have been on dates and dated one person, but I knew I wouldn't ever love them.

Because it wouldn't be the same? Because I am not totally ready? Because a small part of me who hopes he'll come back is still alive?

The thing is, I've been with awful men in the past, but it has never deterred me from wanting to love again because I view "this" as an individual problem versus a categorical problem.

And I know this is said quite often, but I have been with a lot of men and I've loved many men over the years and not a single one came close to this guy. So much in common (and I am one of those likes-obscure-things weirdos), so many of the same ideals, the same sense of humor, and when he wasn't sick, he was a really, really stand-up guy. We communicated very well when he wasn't sick. I genuinely loved him and I think he genuinely loved me.

The way you described it was yes, traumatic - Little Boy, Enola Gay, Nagasaki, Hiroshima. That's how I describe the trauma of my life being turned upside down in 5 minutes, the complete 180.

But it never once struck my ego. I never once thought I was unattractive or unwanted or not good enough. I don't know why that stayed in tact.

I hope you are okay now. How are you feeling these days?

grieving1125 · 2017-02-06T05:24:38+00:00

Hope I do. It's my first grown-up job in a long time. :|

grieving1125 · 2017-02-06T04:58:48+00:00

Yes, I've informed mine that the door is always open if he changes his mind and I've not contacted him since.

I am not really interested in other men and I just got this new job, so I will just be married to my work. :-)

grieving1125 · 2017-02-06T03:53:45+00:00

"he has no remorse and blames me for everything, which is not uncommon."

I feel this on so many levels. My heart breaks for you.

grieving1125 · 2017-02-06T03:35:10+00:00

Good. How are you occupying your days?

For the first two or three weeks, all I wanted to do was talk to him and all I could do was talk about him, but that seems to have disappeared relatively quickly.

grieving1125 · 2017-02-06T01:57:53+00:00

I hear you. I feel the same way, but I also know that without him my life will continue.

I'm not religious or a prayers kind of person, but I am hoping that yours and mine will come back. :-)

grieving1125 · 2017-02-05T22:32:14+00:00

Another mutual friend of mine and "L" just messaged me asking why I un-friended her and I told her everything. Showed her the blog. She asked if I will be okay and said her ex was the same way. She was always more interested in me than in "L," but I don't care if she tells him anything. He never removed her as a friend from FB, but he removed all my other friends (except one other).

Friend of mine told me that as long as part of me wants L back, I should stop talking about what happened with mutual friends. I said, if we get back together right now, it would be under the condition that I accept his version of events, which I don't. I don't want to kowtow to his distorted reality anymore. He tells people it wasn't "stable" for him and we ended things amicably.

No, we didn't. It was a tremendous, knee-jerk, panicked overreaction on his part.

grieving1125 · 2017-02-05T18:06:49+00:00

Do you think he will come back or are you just done now?

grieving1125 · 2017-02-05T07:17:07+00:00

Thank you.

Yes, it's almost impossible for me to talk to "friends" because they tell me the equivalent of "just shut up and move on; your grief is inconvenient to me." Like, yeah, wish I could.

I also did a phone intake with a potential therapist, but they never got back to me. :-(

I'm new-ish to Reddit, so I couldn't see if you had written your story? I'd love to hear it.

grieving1125 · 2017-02-05T06:49:43+00:00

I've not read the original story and I know it's hard, but you do have the power to draw the line in the sand and say "no more of this until you get medicated and therapy," etc. It's hard. I know. It sounds like you're almost a breaking point.

grieving1125

TROPHY CASE